A Poem by just take a breath

Annabell was born today
With healthy smiles and laughter
Shes taken home and put to bed
With a happy mother and father

Annabell starts school today
Only five shes growing old
She finds some friends who seem nice
And she does what she is told

Annabell comes home from school
Shes ten years old today
Her mom and dad yell and scream
But she blocks out what they say

Annabell starts middle school
Shes lost and on her own
She walks these hallways looking down
Keeping the cuts from being shown

Annabell tried meth today
To heal a broken heart
She didn't think shed get addicted
Now its something she cant part

Annabell lost her virginity
To a man with no name
It took two seconds, nothing more
She never wanted it this way

Annabell found a guy
Who turned her life around
Now shes walking down the isle
With a smile, showing shes proud

© 2011 just take a breath

Author's Note

just take a breath
don't give up hope <3

My Review

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Wow, you covered a lot in only a few stanzas.. I like the way you jump forward in time in each stanza...good rhythm, easy to read..Very touching work..I enjoyed the read...and I agree, don't give up hope.

Posted 12 Years Ago

This is a sweet and poignant poem. I am so glad you decided to give it a positive ending. The rhyme scheme and structure are perfectly chosen, they give the poem a child-like, innocent simplicity which makes the emotional impact of the mid-sections all the more powerful. The simple and direct expression of the poem leaves the reader nowhere to hide in considering the implications for the subject as we go along, and feeling her feelings. Nice symmetry, well written, and an inspiring piece, thank you :-)

Posted 12 Years Ago


Great work..!!!

Posted 12 Years Ago

I really liked reading your poem. I like how it tells a story. Everything flowed really well. Great write :)

Posted 12 Years Ago

A very nice poem with good form. I like how you start each stanza with her name. As for some advice that may help you improve it, once you misspell Annabell and "aisle." You also need to add apostrophes for "she's" and "she'd." Other than that, great job! Thanks for sharing. :)

Posted 12 Years Ago

What a lovely poem upbuilding and very well written :0)

Posted 12 Years Ago

I love and adore this poem. You really breathe hope through this poem. Very nice :] Worth the reading

Posted 12 Years Ago

Dear God this was powerful. Very deep and sensitive, but with a hopeful ending that didn't fall into pathos. Brilliantly written - more please!

Posted 12 Years Ago

this was amazing.

Posted 12 Years Ago

damn this is really good.

Posted 12 Years Ago

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18 Reviews
Added on June 15, 2011
Last Updated on June 27, 2011
Tags: annabell, girl, hope, meth, drugs, sex, virginity, hate, hard, hurt, love


just take a breath
just take a breath

about me? im 15, im a girl, im blond, and tend to take my feelings out through music and writing. if you knew me, you would know non-believers drive me insane! this includes people that say "your t.. more..


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