The Burning House

True Story.

There used to be a house, full of love and kindness. The owners of this house, a husband and a wife, had two children, Dona and Z. They fought all the time, but loved each other nonetheless. They had two pets, a cat and a dog, who would sleep curled together between the brothers beds. The hallways were full of pictures and memories. The house was their paradise.

Outside the house however, it was horrible. The neighbors were despicable and racist, and there was a strange looking lady on one of the street corners. Someone was always either yelling or stealing, outside the house. It scared the boys, but they knew they were safe because their daddy would protect them from anything. 

Then came their last night at the house. It was an average summer night, cool and breezy, but then late at night there was shouting. After the shouting there was smoke and unbreathable air. Then screaming and mommy and daddy lifting the boys out of bed, and then the bright colors, the horribly bright colors, and then nothing, just a pile of gray and red. 

That was the burning house. My burning house.

Reviews

[Sarah>_>]

aw :/

[justjenn_2u]

Tragic and quite meaningful. The ending is hard to swallow and leaves a well of emotion building up. I enjoyed this and look forward to reviewing more of your work.

[selkietales]

Wait, by true story you mean this happened to you?? That sucks- but at least it seems like you were little and when you're little you can adjust to a new life pretty easily. At least in my experience. Oh, anyway, the writing. This is pretty good, I'd just say maybe expand on why the neighbors are despicable sooner. Or you could say despicable racists, without the and. I dunno, it just seemed vague, and when you clarified it was at the end of the paragraph. I'm probably nitpicking.

[Lydia]

Sad, but well written. Good job!