The Creature Within

10 word contest - jitters, okra, veteran,jackeL,curious,slant,slinky,violet,ten, goblet

You stood there blocking the doorway, one SLINKY tentacle leaning against the wall
and the other holding a GOBLET overflowing with my blood,
dripping slowly and deliberately down the sides!
I look down and see the bright red stains on my OKRA colored marble floor
you are many creatures in my eyes,
sometimes I see you as a JACKEL waiting to ambush me and scavenge my remains
but tonight you are unrecognizable!
a VETERAN of evil and a connoisseur in the battle ground of hostility
I know you want to see my anxiety, my fear, my heart ripped to shreds
but I have learnt to show no emotion, no JITTERS, no distress, no dread!
CURIOUS isn't it, human endurance creates means of escape and illusion
it's the only way to survive for now
then the moment will come.... I disappear,
with no trace of my existence
like a magician ...poof! gone, in a mist of VIOLET blue smoke
the sound of the clock strikes
and I see the hand SLANT towards 10,
jolting my attention to the creature standing before me, that I must contend with,
what vermin will you be tonight, what part of my soul will you try to ransack tonight!

Reviews

[Kathy Van Kurin]

'The Creature Within'
Hebe,
This was amazing! In reading along I found it a really good use of imagination to find the fearful anticipation of something that longed to steal life essence. Each word of the 10 listed is given it's own place and explanation. Riviting truly and may I say really fun too?!
Blessings to you.
Kathy

[Lovecraft]

I quite like this poem. This vaguely reminds me of something H.P. Lovecraft would write, lol.

[Hebe]

Thank you for your review.... it definitely could turn into horror !! lol

[Wicahpi]

Well Bravo! You were the only one who attempted the contest last week and I am impressed with how you manage to fit each word into a scenario. Doesn't seemed forced, seems flawlessly smooth. Thank you for your entry!!!

[Hebe]

It was a tough one but I enjoy the challenge :) thank you for your great review!

[Hebe]

Thank you Tashida, hope I can continue to impress you :)

[Hebe]

Hi Cunas.... thanks for your review, I actually went back and reread the poem and you are right, looking at it from a different prospect , it could be a disease eating you up ! :)

[cunas]

Not bad.

The creature within could very well be body inflammation. I'm hoping no one thought that was a dumb statement.

[Tashida]

Once again, i'm left speechless :)

[matrixmark]

Good vivid imagery from the beggining - gave me great visuals of a black creature lurking in the shadows or peeking out from some corner. I like the bit abut where you describe how the creature knew about the persons fears.- that was definately a Freddy Kruegar moment right there .

The last few lines felt really real, the wording which you used to describe the person waiting for some form of attack was nothing short of breathtaking. This was good, a real treat to read.

Mark.