Chapter One

My eyes fixated on the blinking lights in front of me. Anticipation settled in the pit of my stomach, commanding my knots of nausea to whirl and sway in a sickening motion. The minutes ticked by loudly as I eyeballed the machine that held my fate in its greedy, archaic grasps. It’s lazy mechanics stretching its lifeless arms into action. 

 

I have never resented a printer so much in my life.

 

The hum of the cartridge moving back and forth, back and forth seemed to mock me as it leisurely spewed forth my document. Finally.  I touched the corner of the paper lifting it to glance at the text. The heat from the printer calmed me as I silently read the words that held my future in tiny, organized lines.  “Passenger Name: Lucy Eleanor Gilbert. Destination: London, England. Flight Number: 1851. One way.”

 

“So you did it huh?” A voice came from behind me. I spun around in my chair to see Nina standing in the doorway of my office with a frown on her face.

 

“I really did. I leave in three months.” My eyes scanned the ticket print out once more. I wonder if there’s an Idiots Guide to packing twenty seven years of your life into neat and organized boxes labeled only by their metaphorical contents for efficient categorizing.  There would be the neatly packed duffle bag simply entitled “Smothering family issues,” placed gingerly next to the slightly beaten cardboard box “Terrified small town girl wildly escaping from her romantic past.” Last but not least would be the neat piles of black luggage modestly labeled, “Baggage. Literally. Refer to aforementioned bags.” Maybe I should buy one of those label making machines. If I’m going to ship my belongings and my life halfway across the world, I might as well be organized about it.

 

“Three months. Wow.” Nina paused and looked at me with a deadpan face. “I’m working on the happy here, because I am totally happy - in the horribly selfish and bittersweet way where I don’t want you to go.” She took a seat in the empty chair across from me. “Is now a good time to warn you that I’m prone to having loud emotional outbursts at airports?” She smiled and shook her shoulders in silent laughter.

 

I’ve seen her distinctive, albeit quiet laugh a few thousand times since we first met twenty years ago while swinging on the monkey bars at the neighborhood playground. Each time I hear her, I’m still amazed at how incredibly contagious her silent laughter can be. Although translating her signature giggle over telephone lines has always been problematic. There have been many occasions where I was certain she hung up on me but within seconds of complete silence, a loud gasp for air would assure me that Nina was just in a fit of laughter.

 

“Hey, I’m right there with you. I’m working on the happy too but without sounding like a giant walking cliché, I have to get out of this town.” I explained, while shutting down my computer.

 

Cue Nina’s soundless laughter. She found people who resented the constraints of their small town and eagerly searched for escape to more exciting locale to be unintentionally hilarious. Since we live in the smallest state in the U.S., the statement “I’ve got to get out of this town” has been uttered countless times by many well meaning inhabitants. The part Nina finds to be most amusing doesn’t usually set in until these plans to conquer bigger and better destinations ends with the permanent relocation into a friend or parent’s basement.

 

I swatted her with my printed plane ticket. “I’m serious! There’s just something unsettling about staying in the same place after all that’s happened. I can’t even pee without thinking about HIM.”

 

I used to do the most gazing at my engagement ring while I peed. Now, the minute I sit down on a toilet, my eyes automatically shoot to my empty ring finger like a Pavlov’s Dog Experiment gone wrong. And while I’m painfully aware that I will still have to urinate while in London, I’m hoping that the drastic change in bathroom scenery will break my operant conditioning. Soon I’ll be able to sit on any toilet in complete and total mental bliss.

 

“Ah �" the infamous HIM. Have you slipped back to the stage where you refuse to utter his name? It’s been a year Luce. I think it’s safe to call him something other than a pronoun.”

 

“Fine. Gavin. Have I told you how much he’s made me dislike that name? I used to think it could make any guy naturally hotter just because it had….I don’t know...” My eyes searched the ceiling as if the perfect word to describe the name Gavin were decoded in the tiny little holes of the tile. Maybe if I looked hard enough the perfect way to forget Gavin will appear as well.  The word finally came to me. “Panache.”

 

Nina nodded and smirked at my word choice. 

 

“I just wish I realized five years sooner that all Gavin had going for him was his name. How much did it annoy me when he tried to get every girl he met to tell him he reminded them of Gavin Rossdale? Just because you share the name does not mean - ” My rant was interrupted by Nina clearing her throat.

 

“As much as I do enjoy myself a good verbal tirade at Gavin’s expense. I have heard this one before, actually many times, usually whenever you say his name. You get extra points this time for using the word panache though. But yes, I agree. He is a poor excuse for such a sexy name.”

 

I nodded, taking a sip of my coffee and placing my print out ticket in my purse. “Anyway, after all that’s happened with Gavin, I owe it to myself to keep the one promise I made in the bleak days after he left.” I absent mindedly touched my left hand ring finger before snatching it away quickly. “It’s just time for me to do something I want to do for once, without having to think of all the grave consequences. Besides, I’ve dreamed of going to London since I was a little girl.” I stopped myself before once again sharing my theory that I lived a past life in London as a nanny, had a scandalous affair with a married British man and then died a victim of the Plague. For some reason, my friends refuse to entertain the idea that my past life theory not only explains my unconditional love for all things British and my strange attraction to Jude Law but also sheds light on the reasons for my crippling fear of vomiting.  If some genius scientist comes forward in years to come with proof that each human being carried with them past lives, I will rejoice for the mere fact that I can finally tell my friends, “I told you so!”

 

Nina sighed. “I get all of that, I really do. And I’m trying to do the supportive friend thing but I just can’t help but feel like you expect this permanent change in address to somehow…”

 

“Fix things?” I finished for her.

 

“Fix things, yes. And I can’t shake the feeling that this is your last attempt to show him you’re really moving on this time. Is this plane ticket just physical evidence to parade in front of him? Do you think your departure to London will convince him to break off his relationship with “whatshername” and come back to you?”

 

I felt my inner confidence balloon deflate. That’s the pesky thing about friends who know way too much about you; they always point out the one thought you’re desperately trying to avoid having. So I did what every twenty something, strong willed and stubborn minded girl does when faced with uncertainty and self doubt. Lie and hope you do a damn good job faking it.

 

“It has nothing to do with Gavin. There, I said it. And I don’t care that he’s with Rose. There, I also said it.” I raised my eyebrows and sat up in my chair confidently for added effect. “Honestly, I just want to start over, change paces and focus on me. London is the perfect place to do that. So that’s all this is - a change in location that will only benefit my future in the best kind of way. No hidden agenda necessary.”

 

Nina eyed me skeptically and sighed before she was called away to the front desk. S**t. I shouldn’t have added that last part. Of course I want to go to London for all aforesaid reasons. But if I’m being honest with myself (and with Nina), I am secretly fantasizing about Gavin running dramatically down the airport walkways, yelling my name passionately and dropping to his knees in tears. All while professing his undying love for me. So in reality, I guess I didn’t actually lie to Nina. I don’t have a hidden agenda. I have a blatantly obvious one.

Reviews

[Cara Rosalie]

Danielle,

This was such a great read! In no way, shape or form, are you a sh*t writer. You are a wonderful writer, with a penchant for satiating my appetite with rich descriptiveness. Repeatedly, I was blown away by the intelligent choices you made. If I was only allowed to pick one thing, I would say that is your strong point – though, you have more than just one strong point. I am green with envy at your ability to transfer me into the most intricate of moments! While I read, I kept a log of things I loved and wanted to comment further on, so I will refrain from boasting of all your stupendous talents here :)

Your writing style is phenomenal. Most importantly, I found it easy to follow. You weren’t all over the place. You handled one section at a time, at a comfortable pace, resisting the urge to spew out everything single detail at once.

Call it personal taste, but I think opening a scene with your main character in a awkward, uncomfortable, or agitated frame of mind allows the reader to get a very real look at who they are at the core. It’s incredibly mundane to read a list of attributes and pet peeves. I have blue eyes. I like to sleep with my socks on. Overgrown cuticles bother me. Etc… You are like a painter and her brush, sweeping and layering information gently and without burdening the reader. In just a short paragraph, I felt as if I knew something about Lucy’s wit, character and emotional state.

The printer scene was great. The metaphors made me drool with envy once again. One of my MOST favorite techniques to implement in my writing is animating inanimate objects. You do this well. “ I eyeballed the machine that held my fate in its greedy, archaic grasps. Its lazy mechanics stretching its lifeless arms into action.”

You flawlessly unveiled information about Lucy without telling me anything. I learned she was shy, controlling, has family issues, comes from a small town, recently un-engaged, all inadvertently from a pertinent scene. It takes serious skill to be able to do this!

“Maybe I should purchase a label making machine.” I laughed out loud.

“She joked as her shoulders shot up towards her ears, shaking in silent laughter.” Massive relatability factor here. I have a friend who laughs like this! It’s hilarious to watch this happen, I never tire of the strange phenomenon.

The flashback to discuss Lucy and Nina’s friendship was perfect. I didn’t feel jarred at all and really had a good sense of who they were as friends.

“I remember looking shyly at her, my blue eyes hidden behind the comforting denim of my mother’s jeans.” Ah, you’re a master at imagery. Immediately I could see this little girl, arms wrapped around her mother’s legs, one eye peeking around her thigh. So good!

“It was there that our friendship formed over our shared love for Lisa Frank stickers, Joey McIntyre, and our hope to expand our ever growing Pog collections.” I’m completely dating myself here, but oh well. I was obsessed with Lisa Frank stickers and I maybe…um…might have…owned a NKOTB t-shirt or two…

I’m sure Jim has already mentioned this to you. You use many had (s) and that (s) that are unnecessary. When he pointed it out to me, I couldn’t believe how often I used the familiar cushion words. Thought I would double check, as it has improved the fluidity of my writing immensely to delete these little buggers.

“I used to do the most gazing at my engagement ring while I peed.” Again, I laughed out loud.

“absent mindedly” I think this is one word, no?

“I have to agree with her that my plane ticket purchase coincides suspiciously with Gavin’s recent engagement to the woman he left me for.” My heart kerplunked a little. What woman doesn’t know the feeling of being left for what feels like the smarter, thinner, better looking version of themselves.

“I felt my inner confidence balloon deflate.” Great visual.

“I don’t have a hidden agenda. I have a blatantly obvious one.” This sounds horribly narcissistic, however, I see many similarities in our writing and subsequently found so many things I enjoy. This “dry, tad sarcastic, punch” at the end of your chapter, is a tool I love utilizing. Nothing packs a punch like being pithy. I try and end most of my pivotal scenes with this sort of a leader.

If I could suggest one thing, it would be to provide me a clear picture of Lucy. I know she has blue eyes, but I know little else. I'm not sure if anyone else does this, but whenever I am reading a book, I match the characteristics given to an actress or actor so I can really SEE the character in the book. I enjoy having this right away to cement the bond. :)

I loved this, Danielle. I will absolutely continue to read!

[Sally Pomeroy]

I love the way this illustrates that we all do things for multiple reasons, and lots of times, there is a fantasy behind it that we don't really want to acknowledge.
I agree with the previous reviewer on intelligent choices. It makes your descriptions just that little bit surprising, and that makes the story more interesting.

[Steve]

This is excellent and funny too. The best part though of this write is that it actually is forcing me to WANT to read ch 2. And that is impressive given my short attention span and impatience with crappy writing.

The story thus far sounds like a winner.

[Shannen]

I really enjoyed this, i agree with Richard that is has the "Bridget Jones" feel to it, and i love Bridget Jones so congrats on a fab chapter, will be reading the rest of your story :)

[Mindy]

My interest in stories is very little but by reading only your first chapter you have entertained me. The details are great and the story becomes more fascinating the further you read. The humor, the characters and being able to relate to them and their situations is awesome. Great job!

[GTVile]

I've never been a young girl, but you capture the mood of this piece so well that I would almost believe that I had been one at some point. You do a great job of making the characters real and believable. Great job.

[Steve]

I especially like the funny about about your 'still having to pee while in London'....lol

[Steve]

This is good! I like how you have weaved things so far. You have my attention.

[Jim Parson]

This is an intelligent, very well written and a thoroughly entertaining story so far. I'm getting just a touch of "Bridget Jones' Diary"...this has all the witticism without the bitterness. You've developed your characters well and your descriptions are clean and well presented. You obviously have a nice command of the English language and you use it really well. A great first chapter! I've messaged you separately with a couple of grammatical suggestions.