"It's not my fault."

"It's not my fault."

A Poem by Esana Bridges
"

Say it.

"
I'm walking on a wall, eight inches wide, five feet above the wall.
On one side -
A man
Sitting against the wall
Head down -
On the other side -
A woman
Knees to her chest
Arms around her knees
I lean down to the man:
"What's the matter?"
"My love - "
A tear.
"Your love?"
"We haven't talked in so long - so long."
"Why?"
His fists tightened,
Eyes darken:
"We had a fight."
"A fight? About what?"
Pause - a long one -
"I don't remember."
"Then...why do you still fight?"
Head turned to the side,
Arms crossed:
"She hasn't apologized."
So, I tilt my head to the other side
And ask:
"What's the matter?"
"My love - "
"Did you fight?"
"Yes."
A sniffle.
"What about?"
Silence.
"I can't remember."
"Why - do you fight then?"
"He hasn't apologized."
I lift my head,
Think for a moment,
Then ask them both:
"Why don't you just apologize?"
Looking away:
"It's not my fault."
"But - don't you want to make up? Why not just get it over with -"
"It's not my fault."
A tear rolling - slowly - down -

© 2011 Esana Bridges


Author's Note

Esana Bridges
An idea that was originally for school for French, but I wanted to put it onto here as well.

Oh and if I didn't make it clear enough: If you love someone and you fight, who cares whose fault it is? If you love them, just say sorry.

My Review

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Reviews

I love the message in this. If only all of us could tear down our metaphorical walls and just apologize. Great job!

Posted 10 Years Ago


I like how you use the wall to symbolize the separation of the two. This has a good message and the world would be a better place if more people would listen to it.

Posted 10 Years Ago


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it's cool how you portrayed the fight of a person of being on their side and the other on their own side. great poem that shows how complicated love is. :D

Posted 10 Years Ago


Love is a feeling in life that needs a lot of water-compromise to sustain...you have beautifully used the wall symbol in presenting the false ego that ruins many a love life in this write

Posted 10 Years Ago


Excellent lesson taught here. I love the point of view its from. Keep writing. Stay chill.

Posted 10 Years Ago


I like this... Dialog-oriented story progression within a prose poem. I've done something similar before, but was way shorter and rather based on a moral than a story.
I also adore how you seemed to attempt to keep a consistent minimalistic approach to the poem's overall structure. What's another cool thing is how you introduced the setting-description stanzas with the similar approach (stanza 2 & 3). It really would've been great if the same approach was brought back in the ending (describing emotion rather than setting), would've made well for a unique twist.
some constructive criticism I can give you is that some words are a bit overused or become a bit repetitive by the middle due to strict vocabulary usage and bland description I would think. Words like "you", "fight", "wall", and "head"... Use of metaphors and twist description (descriptions which aren't up front) can really help out in that sorta area. Also, in poetry, things have to be set on a beat or a rhythm. You kept things pretty close but at some points, lines felt a bit "loose" due to extra-added words that did not really need to be there. Things like writing with a meter or set syllable count can really help this...
Overall, really enjoyed this, specially for it being a poem with morals and about fighting... I Am Svetlana probably scored best on reviewing the poem for it's overall meaning I think. Anywho, giving this one a 93/100, pretty awesome ^_^ and keep up the good work yo.

Posted 10 Years Ago


can you imagine this world if apologies were the norm...it would make life and love the joy of this world...nice work

Posted 10 Years Ago


That's true but doesn't always happen. Most of the time nobody can remember what started the fight in the first place. Sorry, sometimes, is just a word. :)

Posted 10 Years Ago


very good and very true...

Posted 10 Years Ago


I completly agree. i hate when ppl let their ego ghget in the way of what's important.

Posted 10 Years Ago



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Added on November 16, 2011
Last Updated on November 16, 2011

Author

Esana Bridges
Esana Bridges

About
I love mysterious things that send shivers down my back. I like emotion. I love craziness. Fairy tale rewrites or something to do with Alice in Wonderland will draw me in immediately. Feel free to .. more..

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A Chapter by Esana Bridges



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