Mistakes

I tried to write a poetry poem

to express the the ways in which

I feel

 

but I’m am finding

words are getting

scribbled over crossed out

 

maybe its it’s because

the only combining combination

of letters

 

that seems to hold

any wait weight at all

to over me are

 

‘goodbye’

and

your name

Reviews

[Horizons]

What a mistake's in real in your point of views you expressed in the poetric words that seemed good again. The concept of writing's great and imaginable to think about it more in lone. Well structured poem.

[sivan]

you have such a talent for writing... love the way you structured this poem...

[Rick Puetter]

Dear Devon,

Yes, I agree with Blaise. This is interesting. It is an effective way to show uncertainty in, and the clay feet of, the poet. As such it is a unique and refreshing work. It reminds me of the comment by Gauss. the mathematician, when he was challenged on how he performed all of his amazing proofs. He commented that he didn't want his readers to see the horrible scaffolding he had to put up to achieve his results. So instead he took all the scaffolding down and just provided an elegant proof, not allowing others to see how he reached his result. Your poem is just the opposite, revealing false steps and using them to advantage. A very clever device.

Greatly enjoyed, and high marks!

My best regards,

Rick

[Blaise]

An interesting write, Devon. Good, too. It was a unique read and at first it feels like the line throughs will be a nuisance, but they aren't. You worked them well and they fit in there.

[Alicia Beavis]

Interesting piece that I did enjoy, particularly because of the ending. Not sure about the parts you crossed out, even though I suppose it backs up your poem but perhaps that's just a personal thing. Nonetheless, I did enjoy the piece as a whole.

[Mir]

I've been waiting for you to put more work up! I can't get enough! :) haha
The crossed out words had me reading them and then trying to block them out by re-reading the sentence. This is very unique and original! :)

[devon]

Thank you so much!