A Civil Love War

Upon the sense of love rages a war
Without a light to shine
I'll walk aimlessly through the fear
That has recurred since death
To never let you go I will fight
And in this war
I shall be torn apart
Broken without a fix
A heart to hold two sides
To be torn
Upon depression the war shall grow
As it breaks the containment
I'll have lost my sense of sanity
Yet it will still rage
Just as all civil wars do
I will always have the same smile
But I will never be the same
After those words left your lips
Hopes of regular life died
As the first causilty
And hopes of death are given life
Just as you end yours
So as the story has come it will end the same
A hopeless boy
Fighting a mindset civil war
And you leading him to the end of it all

Reviews

[Vanessa Pavelock]

I really enjoy the way you explore war as a state of mind here!

[Caitlin Lea]

I feel like the arrangement of the words is detracting from the power of this poem. Maybe you could try to eliminate extraneous words here and there and also possibly rearrange into shorter lines or stanzas.

I think there are a lot of interesting phrases and good ideas in here. Nice work!

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you for the amazing poem. So many statements stood out in the poem.
"Hopes of regular life died
As the first causilty "
The poem did tell a true story. Hope is all we have sometime. When it is gone. What is left? A outstanding poem.
Coyote