Broken Dreams

Broken Dreams

A Poem by Decaf

As I lay with the broken dreams

I cry for all of the days

That have hurt me

I know what pain is

Pain is my friend

Although I hate him

He always finds me

He is a leech

Gone one second

There the next

I can't get rid of him

So for now I lay

With the broken hearts and dreams

© 2011 Decaf


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Good

Posted 9 Years Ago


Cool how you personified Pain. I almost picture a person laying in a fetal position with a look of pain on his face, like he's being tormented.

The only thing that might help is adding a little punctuation, even some dashes or the occassional comma. Just might help the flow just a little.

Posted 9 Years Ago


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Straight to the heart of it, simple and descriptive.

Posted 9 Years Ago


this is very simple yet very full of meanings. I love the title and is very true.

Posted 9 Years Ago


this is really good and the description, comparison and how you wrote this line:
"He is a leech"
... really nice, pain felt

Posted 9 Years Ago


i can really relate to this one ]:

Posted 9 Years Ago



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197 Views
7 Reviews
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Added on June 23, 2011
Last Updated on July 1, 2011

Author

Decaf
Decaf

Burleson, TX



About
I'm a fun guy that has a deep heart and mind. My name is Decaf like the coffee. It's awesome I'm a skater, I'm also an ex cutter. more..

Writing
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A Poem by Decaf



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