If Ricochet Was Gay

Would my life be any easier
if I had turned out gay
Testosterone shoots out my pours
I think they play that way
I'd stop dressing like a four year old
and I would have to shave
Would the world come to an end
If Ricochet was gay

I'd be my girlfriend's best buddy
but she'd be out of luck
I'd never touch her special place
and she would think that sucked
She'd miss the way I play with her
I come on like a truck
I'd bake a plate of bran muffins
and she would be dumbstruck

I could set new fashion trends and
get on Project Runway
Be kissing Heidi's skanky a*s
It's her show all the way
I'd stop eyeballing emo chicks
I view them as my prey
Would it be a security risk
If Ricochet was gay

I'm a regular macho dude
so I would be a bear
But I'm into bodybuilding
I shave my body hair
What does a bear do anyway
S**t in the woods and stare
I think the gay ones hang around
in leather underwear

So what the hell would life be like
if I had turned out gay
I guess I'm never gonna know
cause I don't swing that way
To all the gay dudes in the world
You guys are all okay
The world is a much brighter place
Because we have the gays

Author's Note

Seriously. Think about how much fashion would suck if not for the gays. I'm terminally straight and if I tried to cut cloth with a pair of scissors I'd probably stab myself in the eye.

Reviews

[Joyce S. Greene]

Beyond my imagination, BR. LOL

[Baby Ricochet]

Lol! Thank you Joyce

[Annabelle Lee]

so refreshing to come back to a good ol fashioned Baby R piece!

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you annabelle

[revolution_starter]

I just like the picture thats all

[Baby Ricochet]

Thans for stopping by

[Will]

It's good to come back and read a oeuvre like this one. Made me laugh, but also got me thinking about societal standing on homosexuality and how we live our lives. Good flow to this one, although to a certain eye it may seem a bit choppy. Nicely done, my friend.

[Baby Ricochet]

Yeah it is a bit choppy. Thank you will

[emmajoy]

This .. she types [tries to, laughing], has to be the most pro-gay piece of writing I've read on this site [still laughing] ; now one of your fan club! Thing is, it's not just what you say, nor the pic you add - which is great, [love the shoes, btw], it's the meter, phrasing and all. In fact, its quite a work of high camp art.. brilly-ant! 'I'd stop eyeballing emo chicks ~ I view them as my prey ~ Would it be a security risk ~ If Ricochet was gay .. '

Re. your Author's note: it's not just the fashion world: since history began those wonderfully creative people have given the world music, paintings and sculpture, words and yet more words, theatre, dreams, thought, etc. Even the Mona Lisa is recognised as a man after considerable and expert research. Yet men have dreamed of that enigmatic smile for years. And I'm still smiling.. loudly!

[Baby Ricochet]

It's true about the gays and culture. I don't know why hpmophobes don't think of that. They're to busy being insecure I guess. Thanks for stopping by Emma. I appreciate it

[emmajoy]

Insecurity has many faces!

[Quill~]

Ha ha! I think you're right, fashion has come a long way because of them. Sorry, I can't see you in heels so it's a good thing you don't swing that way. lol
Funny write! :))

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you quill

[Dye]

Omg! This was funny as hell. The picture with it was awesome and made me smile as soon as I opened post. Nothing wrong with gay dudes, the good ones do make the world a brighter, happier place.

[Baby Ricochet]

Yes they do. Thank you Dye

[Al R. Arce]

That was outstanding! You brought a smile to my face, no I am not gay, I was simply amazed at the serious grace of your verse! Well done!

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Cemi

[Epipsychologist]

If you were gay you would probably dress like a stripper and beat homophobes to death. That would be awesome. As it stands, straight Ricochet wrote a pretty awesome poem here.

[Baby Ricochet]

LOL! Thanks bro