If Ricochet Was Gay

Would my life be any easier
if I had turned out gay
Testosterone shoots out my pours
I think they play that way
I'd stop dressing like a four year old
and I would have to shave
Would the world come to an end
If Ricochet was gay

I'd be my girlfriend's best buddy
but she'd be out of luck
I'd never touch her special place
and she would think that sucked
She'd miss the way I play with her
I come on like a truck
I'd bake a plate of bran muffins
and she would be dumbstruck

I could set new fashion trends and
get on Project Runway
Be kissing Heidi's skanky a*s
It's her show all the way
I'd stop eyeballing emo chicks
I view them as my prey
Would it be a security risk
If Ricochet was gay

I'm a regular macho dude
so I would be a bear
But I'm into bodybuilding
I shave my body hair
What does a bear do anyway
S**t in the woods and stare
I think the gay ones hang around
in leather underwear

So what the hell would life be like
if I had turned out gay
I guess I'm never gonna know
cause I don't swing that way
To all the gay dudes in the world
You guys are all okay
The world is a much brighter place
Because we have the gays

Author's Note

Seriously. Think about how much fashion would suck if not for the gays. I'm terminally straight and if I tried to cut cloth with a pair of scissors I'd probably stab myself in the eye.

Reviews

[Angi]

OMG! All I can do is picture your muscle-y a*s in a pink tutu! Ha! This has me rolling, baby. Angi~

[Baby Ricochet]

LOL! That would be some site. Thank you Angi

[Mark]

damn you are as funny as Louis CK ROFL!!! ever see one of his gay rants? This one is pretty good... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JnD5hWdc4Yc

[Baby Ricochet]

I've seen him before and yes he is funny. Thanks for the link Mark. I appreciate it

[Jamie Cook]

And you wouldn't have done other stuff too!!! Giiiiiiiiiiiiirl!!! Dude..Whatever! That would have been so much different! Interesting, but then who would fill one of the macho spots on WC? Like yeah we have dudes, but who's that particular marine dude that's wicked and is as macho as he is? :D ba-barara! Ricochet. Oontz :3

[Baby Ricochet]

LOL! Thank you Jamie. I appreciate it.

[Frieda P]

I guess us gals aren't getting any credit for our fashion expertise....just think how different your poetry would be if you were gay Baby, going back to being a Marine.....a whole different perspective.

[Baby Ricochet]

Women have a lot of fashion expertise, but the poem's a satirical piece about me being gay. (I know you know that and are just giving me the business :) ) Thanks for stopping by Frieda. I appreciate it

[Frieda P]

Can't pull the wool over your straight arse, can I? ;-)

[Baby Ricochet]

lol...............

[Marie]

If Baby R. turned out to be gay I wonder how many females would shave their heads and go on a week long fast...?

I'm glad, macho as you are, that you have no problem with gays...

[Baby Ricochet]

Considering the contributions gays have made to art, literature, fashion and culture homophobia's pretty ridiculous. By all means hate on the intelligent, creative people that make this stupid world a color coordinated, tastefully decorated place.

[poetdoug]

Wow, what photos you found to carry out your lines.
Well done my friend

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Doug

[TL Boehm]

terminally straight. Can I borrow that phrase? This was hilarious

[Baby Ricochet]

Sure. Thanks TL

[Fernando Lachica]

Funny for some but with sense all throughout the lines.

[Baby Ricochet]

thank you Fernando

[SyberRose]

A funny piece and loved the photo too...Enjoyed the theme...Rose

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Rose

[Jack...]

Now this was a happy little poem. Made me feel all prissy and sweet. Funny my friend.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Jack