Sounds of Sorrow

Listen to the sound of misery,
an agonizing sound so mournful
The angels weep.

Look at the face of sorrow
a look so pitiful that the angels
weep.

Feel the hurt of the unforgiven , so
painful the angels weep.
Watch as the chosen falls so unbelievable
the angels weep.

 

Reviews

[Touché Armada]

LOL, your's as well hey =) thats one reason I'm painting at the moment, my daughter can do that with me and its not morbid LOL... Angels weeping and crying, I think about that from time to time, mainly when I'm crying, mainly when I'm crying over someone else's sorrow,, I wonder where were they when we needed them,, I like the song by Shakira: How do you do... I think that sometimes, and I wonder, do they cry do any of these deities cry. The thought that they may you have put down well in which instances they may if they did.

[Zane Mathias]

i like this one alot. great job sad but good!

[Fantasyfairy]

I still think this is a dark poem, sad too. Angels weeping is a very sad subject, but you make it so lovely here. Let's hope you have broken through, because with this piece you should have smashed down the writer's block wall. XX

[Roxy's Writes Rocks th..]

Bravo! The best way is just as you are doing as well as changing up the scene like sitting on the washing machine while writing on a full bladder! Natalie Goldberg my mentor and author of Writing to the Bones taught me this.

I like this write it is short it has much emotion and it is lyrically really. Keep it up and try the washer.

[Anna Hays]

I really like this a lot !
Feel the hurt of the unforgiven, so painful the angels weep.
What powerful words ! and so very heart felt !
Very nice write !

[Haden]

it's interesting you were trying to not be so morbid .. and yet .. the unforgiven are dead are they not? how much more morbid to be dead in the desparity of disbelief. maybe not morbid ... but infinitely sad. great pic!! tragically beautiful write.

[James Mayfield]

Yes, angels weeping aren't morbid at all. I really enjoyed this one and I don't think your overly morbid at all. This was enjoyable and will be excellent if given a little more love and attention.

[Brette Medb]

This was beautiful, and I loved the repetition. Angels weeping I would imagine would be the most sorrowful and heartbreaking sound. Wonderful write.

Brette

[Kim Kruger]

:) Ah, writer's block, the bane of the wordsmith. I think you're on the right track here, Diana. If I may make so bold, here are a few suggestions for verb and noun substitutions to avoid repetition.

"...a cry so mournful...", "...anguish so pitiful..." I also think the third line of your last stanza runs together and the meaning is a bit skewed. Breaking the line in half will clear that up and will not affect the rhythm of the prose. Hope that helps.

[Rain]

I certainly feel the sorrow and agony in this piece. You convey it well. I think there's a poem or story in your daughters remarks, too. I got "words for sale" lol Good piece, you'll come out of it. Rain..

[Fran Marie]

Deep emotions brought forth in this beautifully peend write~
Well DonE!!~Fran Marie