On Drugs

From one user to another.

Yes I’m on drugs, and when I’m not, I’m particularly cranky. And if I take too much, I get cranky. I have to take just the right amount to be nice. Life is a balancing act. Odds are you’re on drugs too, maybe not the same types that I use, but drugs they remain. From caffeine to PCP, any medicine that alters the brain chemistry is a drug. I’m not saying I wake up everyday and toke some dust to help me through the nine to five grind (I do in fact do that, but that’s not what I’m saying). I guess what I’m trying to say is: to each his own.

Think of the discrepancies between drugs in our country. Most narcotics are demonized by the two-faced society we live in, while other drugs are taken lightly, or not even looked at as drugs. Such as alcohol and drugs. And. And drugs. Alcohol is the proper name for a specific drug. It’s one of the few drugs you can actually die from withdrawals alone. It’s like saying heroin and drugs. It’s clearly a little word play to allow for guilt free consumption of, in my professional opinion, a medium narcotic. They even give dying from alcohol a different name. It’s called alcohol poisoning , not a drug overdose. And to further the word game, there are different government agencies to keep an eye on alcohol and drugs. The ATF monitors alcohol, not the DEA (for some reason booze, cigarettes, and guns go together). We couldn’t have the DEA taking care of the illegal use of legal drugs like alcohol, as they do with amphetamines, tranquilizers, and analgesics. This would give people an ugly suggestion about their beloved booze.

Obviously the outlook on alcohol has been lightened since it was ostracized from its rightful classification. But why is this commonly lethal drug laughed at?  Pretend we’re at a party and someone says: “Look at John! He can’t even stand!” Depending on what John did, reactions from his friends will greatly vary, and the tone of that statement will also change. If John’s drunk, most likely everyone will joke about it. He still might even wind up in bed to play sex partners later on; I’ve seen it before. But, if John was shooting up or taking non-prescribed pharmaceuticals, no one’s going to be laughing. The tone is completely changed. People will be disgusted, ashamed, insulted, or repulsed, and there will be no chance of playing sex partners. “I don’t want that f*****g junky here,” is a more likely phrase in this scenario. But why is this a normal way to react? Why is one form of not being able to speak or stand acceptable, and another, absolutely intolerable?

Why are so many people so against stoners smoking a bowl and taking it easy for thirty four years? There’s a comical amount of resistance against pot in this country, and I’m sure a large percentage of these radical un-enthusiasts consume more than a few servings of the drink at a time and are technically classified as alcoholics. But all the same, we can’t have people staying home and laughing at cartoons they shouldn’t be laughing at. We can’t have our Taco Bell drive thru’s clogged with indecisive hippies. We can’t allow those on their deathbeds a few moments of relief and relaxation; besides they get legal, highly addictive, and extremely potent narcotics for that.

How does alcohol remain America’s, the world’s, pass time when it’s so dangerous? Why does a    father get wasted on Bud in front of his little boy but hides his midnight marijuana as if it were his gay porn stash? I’m sure you know the statistics on marijuana are worlds brighter than those of alcohol, so I will not repeat the often repeated data. But I will say one unempirical thing that should win the hearts and minds of the indigenous. How many marijuana café brawls have you heard about? You know, the one’s where the Dutch get all hopped up on cannabis and attack one another like rabid chimpanzees. It’s a horrible sight. All the hapless spectator can see is a tornado of moldy dread locks and brownies. In the end, all that is left is a Frisbee and a few wooden shoes. In fact this has become so commonplace in Amsterdam or whatever country the Dutch come from, the government was forced to ban marijuana and tighten their laws on other, harder narcotics. Of course none of this ever happened, and Holland’s drug laws remain lax.

So for the first sentence of the last paragraph, I’d like to say that I don’t smoke marijuana, nor do I eat it. In fact I hate it, but I am an advocate for its legalization. So that makes my argument extremely fortified and unbiased. Anyway, marijuana and alcohol are for babies. I have a rainbow of pharmaceuticals and hallucinogens to pick at for some heavy hitting effects (seriously, it’s a rainbow made out of all the colorful pills I’m prescribed). But why support something I despise? Is it because I have a desperate yearning for my countrymen’s ruin? Is it because I want everyone to get high and complacent and to become easily dominated lackeys? Is it because I have a spiteful spirit, one that doesn’t mix well with the success of others? Is it because I want these people to achieve nothing more than the most medium level of mediocrity so I can stride over the pitiful competition? The answer to all of these questions, is yes. Such is life. Such is the philosophy of drugs.