Sheol

Muld hovers on the brink of death due to poison.

21.

Sheol

 

There was no time, no direction, nothing but darkness like a thick, swirling river, and he frantically tried to tread the darkness.    How long he was there, he did not know, only that it pulled and grabbed at him, threatening to suffocate him.

It was the end; Muld knew this and the thought terrified him, for in this place he was completely alone.

No voices, no faces, no light.    Just the swirling darkness all around him.

Muld had a degree of awareness that surprised him..    He could think and rationalize and he looked back at what had happened to him with an amazing degree of cold objectivity.

He doubted the queen would have poisoned him, for that was beneath her.     More likely it was agents of the pirates, trying to kill those who had hampered their plundering.

Somehow he knew that the poison was something fatal.     He was dying, and this knowledge didn’t distress him.      He had tried to live as passionately as he had means to live, for that was what Master Hofflis had always told him.    Live a full life, my boy, for you do not know how long you will live.   Now he saw his master’s wisdom.

Wearily he paused his struggling and allowed himself to float down into the suffocating darkness.     Breathing was more strenuous now, but Muld forced himself to cease his struggle.

Better to welcome death than to prolong it, he told himself.   The terror began to drain from him.  This was where he was supposed to reflect on his life, he suspected.   A review of everything he had done.

But all he could think about was the past few months.     The intense period of labor and the fruit of that labor.     He had orchestrated change, which was the best anyone could do, for that change was for good and noble purposes.

The practical magic innovations had already changed Westmark, and all those that his guild had trained could continue without him.     Their success would bring other Practical Magicians who could complete his inner circle’s training.    They would be his legacy.    He had done great things.

They would miss him and perhaps mourn him, but they would continue on with his work and have prosperous lives.

He wasn’t needed any more, for he had played his part.   Now he could leave the stage.

But it was Syndi’s face that came to him when he began to welcome death.      The thought of her tore that peace away and stimulated the desire to struggle against the gloom.

Why?   She was beautiful, intelligent and of the best social status.     How easy for her to find someone who would worship the very ground she stood upon.    She had Alleania to complete her teaching and then she would be quite powerful as a sorceress.    

How easy it would be for her to grasp the practical magic spells that he had yet to teach her.     Her mother was right - she was far too good for the likes of him.      She’d grow bored with him and then feel cheated by her attachment to him.    She’d grow to resent him.    She was too special to be wasted on someone like him.   

His death would make it easy for her - she would grieve, but she was too full of life to grieve for long, and then she’d find a handsome, kind prince to love.  

He was doing her a favor by dying.

The thought saddened him, but he knew it was right.     If only he could feel someone near him to comfort him in his final moments.     

 

He was all alone, fighting for the last moments of his life in an endless, depthless sea of darkness.   It covered him and tempted him like sleep to an exhausted man.    Eternal sleep.

If only he had his mother’s brooch to comfort him as he died.    The thought of her made him aware of something in the void.     It was a distant presence, felt rather than seen, though he fancied that he could see it.

It was like a golden dawn, just piercing the depth of a moonless night.     Far away, but he was slowly floating toward it.     There were three presences there, waiting for his arrival.

The first he knew immediately as Master Gregg Hofflis.    He could ‘see’ his soul waiting for him.    His gentle, but respectful nature, his wisdom and laughing eyes.    He had been a father to him.   

Next to him was another man, one Muld did not know, yet he was confident it was his father, Gern Mozzil.   Kind and intelligent, loving life and though he had never met him, loving his son.    Muld yearned to go to him.

The other being was -without a doubt- his mother,  Maddieion.   The same feeling of love that he felt when holding her brooch flowed out to him, amplified a thousand times.   Her compassion and concern for him tugged at him and he did not resist.    

They waited patiently for him, ready to embrace him and escort him into eternity.   With his mind’s eye he could see them motioning for him.   He could feel their joy and anticipation of a reunion with him in a place without pain, loss or death.

The soft, amber light grew brighter and he could smell the scent of apples and fresh fruit.   A warm breeze softly rustled leaves.    Tranquil music played.   Paradise awaited.

He was going home - going to the only people who really loved him, to be enfolded in their eternal love and acceptance.  

He would never be alone again.

 

Muld neared the far shore, the darkness began to fade, replaced by the light of Yesh’s heaven.    His parents’ reached out for him.   He stretched out his hands, anticipating an end to struggling, loneliness and pain.

I’m coming, he told them, his heart filled with peace and joy.

 

Then something unexpected happened.

Pure white light burst into the scene from behind him, dispelling the vision with its brilliance.

Desperate, Muld groped forward, feeling for his parents’ hands.

No!  Please, no!  His soul screamed out as the white light clutched him like an eagle with a snatched fish.      With dizzying speed, the distant shore disappeared.

No, Lord Yesh!   No!   I don’t want to be alone any more!   Don’t take them away from me!   I don’t want to be lonely again!   Muld begged, but they were fading like the stars at dawn.

 

*You are not alone!*   A mysteriously familiar voice called powerfully to him.  

No, I’m dying, it is too late.   He told the voice.

*You are not leaving me!   You are coming back to me!* The voice shouted, the words echoing all around him.

The white light engulfed him, warm, bright and electric.  The feeling overwhelmed his soul and he gasped in amazement.

*You are not alone!  Never, never, never again!*

You can’t do this!   You don’t know what you are doing!

*Soul of my soul, you are mine and I am thine!*

Yesh preserve me!  You--

*There is no ‘me’ there is no ‘you’, there is only us!*

Dear God, do you know what you’ve done?

*We are one, we are one!*

But-

The light pierced him, shredding every molecule of his being with a powerful, untamed, unyielding feeling.

Muld let it permeate him, absorbing it as a famished man consumes food.    But as he did so, he felt the same feeling released from him, merging with the light.

It’s wonderful!   Wonderful!   What is this?

*Rejoice, soul of my soul, bask in my love as I bask in yours!*

Love?   Is that what this is?   Yes, that’s it!  How wonderful!

*It is all for you, for all of eternity.    You will never be alone, for I will be with you.   Our souls are bound forever.*

Is this real?   Can this be real?   Am I dreaming?

*Be still, soul of my soul, love of my heart, be still and sleep.*

But will this fade away?    Am I dreaming?

*Don’t be afraid, my love.    This is only the beginning.   I won’t leave you.   My soul belongs to you, and your soul is mine!*

Warmth and peace flowed over him, filling him with unspeakable joy that was similar, yet different than the heavenly peace he had felt moments before..

You’ve saved me.    I love you so much.    How can I show you how much?

* Hush, my love, I already know.   Sleep, I am with you, and neither of us will ever be alone.*

Muld felt the union of his soul, the completeness of love and, at peace with the universe; he drifted into a restorative sleep.