Regrets

A story about Joy and Jam.

The story of young girl who wasn't able to find the right person.

Life as we all know, it’s too unpredictable. We'll never know who, when, or where are we going to find the right person. He/She might be your friend, schoolmate or even a person who you’ll never know that will come someday in your life.

This is a story about a girl who is so attracted to guys who has an extreme beauty.

The girl is Joy, a lovely young woman who fell in love to a wrong person several times. 12^th of July, she is on a basketball game together with her friend Jam who had been her friend for a long long time. Jam is a simple and humble guy. He likes things that Joy loves to do. Jam never asked for anything but the happiness of Joy. Before they became friends, Jam had been courting her nonstop for almost a year. But, Jam doesn’t have the quality that Joy has been looking for. Jam doesn’t have the appearance of a guy that Joy has been looking for but, has the personality that not all good looking people will have. Things began rough to Jam since a cute boy started to court Joy. That cute boy is Raphael. Raphael is an athletic guy hence, a lot different from Jam. Joy began to like him real quick because of Raphael’s hobby and physical appearance. Nevertheless, Jam didn’t stop on talking to her, making her happy. Because he knows that even though she will never like him anymore the way he likes her, he will still be by her side. Raphael is a kind of guy who likes to party and have fun. That is the best thing that Joy liked about that guy. Joy also loves to party and to have an adventure with someone. Day’s pasts, Joy accepted Raphael to be her boyfriend. At the first month of their relationship, Joy never missed a game of Raphael. She’s even prouder than the mother of Raphael. She is so happy seeing Raphael play on the court and watching him score. But, there’s something Joy doesn’t know about Raphael. Raphael has more than what she thinks. What is it? Raphael has a lot of girlfriends. Joy was unaware of that. But days passed.. On the month of September, Joy saw Raphael with another girl in the mall. Joy didn’t do anything at all. She just stares at them and literally examines the girl’s body and her outfit. Joy misjudged Raphael as sweet and gentleman guy. But she found out that he’s an a*****e. She’s kind of jealous to the girl having huge breasts than her. The only reason she thinks on “Why Raphael chose that girl over her.” But less to the knowledge of Joy, that was Raphael’s first girlfriend (still in the present) and she's literally the fifth. After seeing that sad scene, Joy went home, lies in her bed and cried. She never stops crying, until Jam came into her mind. Joy called Jam and asked him: If he can come over and just hang out for a while. After hearing the voice of Joy on the phone, he already knew that something is wrong. That Joy is having a bad day. He already knew that Joy must have been hurt. So, Jam instantly come to Joy’s house and came into her room to find out what’s happening to her. Then Joy explained everything teary eyed. Jam went mad but, he doesn’t know what to do but to stay in her side and make sure she won’t do anything stupid. But then, Jam started to think that he’s thoughts were right. That, that Raphael’s an a*****e and a good for nothing good looking b*****d. Jam began to cheer Joy up, make her laugh... Sang ridiculous funny songs and even told her to split up Raphael because he’s good for nothing dick and don’t know how to appreciate her love. While Jam is cheering up Joy, he really wants to tell her something but, he thought that it will just make her sadder so, he just continues on cheering up Joy. He just wanted to make Joy happy like she used to be. It turns out that Joy split up with Raphael and started to be normal again. She began to move on as Jam keeps on hanging out with her.

In the end of the school year, Jam and Joy still hangs out in the summer. Goes to beach and spend their time a lot like they were a couple but, sad for Jam they’re not. But, in the middle of their fun, Jam really wants to say something on Joy. It’s on the tip of his tongue and by the time he was about to say it, Joy then tell Jam that she’s is so happy to be with him and she don’t know what is she going to do when he’s gone. Then Jam changes the topic and started to avoid and forget what he is going to tell Joy. At the start of the senior year, Jam and Joy were so happy that they are in the same block. In the middle of their fun, a guy with a guitar came into the room and started to give a good impressions. The guys name is Toby and he's a musician and a good singer. He introduced himself to the class quite chill and made Joy a little joy and started to admire the guy. Jam started to smell something fishy as Joy gave the guy a big smile. While in his thought, the class started to shout sample as they saw the guy with a guitar. They wanted the guy to sing and play his guitar in the front of the class as the teacher also wants it. Toby then took his guitar and asked the class what to play. Jam was surprised that the guy wasn’t afraid or shy and same reaction to Joy but a lot impressed than Jam. Before the guy plays, Joy pinched Jam and told him that he should’ve had the confidence like that Toby has. Jam was a little jealous but, it didn’t come to his mind because he already knows what he is to Joy. Things went as what Jam predicted. Toby and Joy became friends and started to make him a 3^rd guy friend of the two. That thing doesn’t matter to Jam because as he really know that he’s time is a little up. He didn’t care for anything but the happiness of Joy for he doesn’t have a family anymore but Joy. In the end of the day Jam wants to go home together with Joy but, she rejected it and said that Toby is going to send him home. Jam simply smiled and said take care, the two of you. But how he felt? He’s really sad and he just accepted the fact that Toby is going to be the new Raphael someday that will make her cry and sad. And he was right. Months passed, as Jam was eating on the canteen, He saw Joy with Toby having a sweet moment. Joy then said HI to Jam and smiled. At that time, Toby is already a star in the school. Toby began to be popular as he has the most angelic voice that most of women wants. Most of the guy really hates him but, to Jam? Jam just thinks that there’s no reason to hate him as he makes Joy happy and that thing will make him happier. The next week, Jam wasn’t able to attend the class and Joy was surprised because Jam really doesn’t do that in the past few years. He didn’t skip a class without a reason or even a letter. But the next day, Jam came to class and Joy started to worry. Asking him why the hell he was absent for a week and why didn’t he told her. Jam just smiled and said he just did something for a while. Joy didn’t believe him and started to get mad because she knows he is lying. Jam then repeated that he is fine and he just fixed stuffs, but the truth is he is not and yes he is lying. In the middle of Joys confrontation Toby came and started to get her. Joy then told Jam that she is not finished yet. Jam smiled and said to himself “Joy you don’t wanna know.” On the next day, Jam and Joy had a good time together because Toby was absent. They began talking. Joy told him that if he has any problems better tell her to help him. If he is sick tell her because she is willing to make him feel better than he is. Toby then smiled and told her that he is completely fine and there’s nothing to worry about. They spent some quality time, but in that time Joy started to feel some spark. The next day, Toby started to give Joy a cold shoulder and it made Joy felt so worry and she thinks Toby already have a new girl. On the day of Toby’s performance for the school, she is sitting on the back of the stage watching Toby. But, after the performance Joy then realize that Jam wasn’t there. She started to look for him but she wasn’t able to see him. When she came back into the back stage, she saw Toby kissing other girl. Toby saw her and said he wanted to explain but, Joy resisted and said let’s just finish this. Joy runs out and started to cry as he can’t believe that Toby would hurt her. When she came home, she started to call Jam but no one’s answering. She started to worry because she already knew that something is wrong with Jam. Joy went to Jams apartment and no one’s even opening the door but, she can hear the phone ringing. She intentionally opened the door and she founds out a trashed room. Clothes with bloods and all of Jams things are on the floor. She then looked for something and she found a letter with a blood on its cover with her name written on it. She opened it and started to read what’s inside.

(To the most beautiful, smartest, talented and at some point perfect girl I met,

Hi babe, just kidding. Hello there my dearest best friend. By the time you are reading this, I might be at the hospital or I might be dead, hopefully not. I just wanted to tell you that I never regret living this world because I met you. I know it didn’t end up like the way I wanted but, I am so happy that I became your friend. You are so mean that you don’t want anyone except you who can touch your hair, hold your things or even look at you for so long. And that’s one of the thing that I admire from you. I’m sorry that I wasn’t able to give you a lot. Sorry if I’m not that athletic and talented the way you wanted but, I just wanted you to know that I didn’t spent my life being someone that you wanted me to be, in the way that you’ll like me more than what I am right now. I started to love being your friend actually. You are the sweetest friend I have. Though, I don’t have a lot of friends but, I’m happy I have you.

I’m sorry that I lied that I’m okay even though I am not, really. I was sick, so sick that the doctor gave me a month to live and enjoy my breath for a while before I leave this cruel world. I just don’t want you to be sad. Every time that I’m about to tell you about my condition, your smile always pops into my head. And the words you told me, the words “What am I going to do when I’m gone?” I’m really sorry. But here’s what I’m going to miss. I will miss your messy hair, your lovely voice, your sweet smile and your sparkling eyes. I’ll miss the way you talk and the way you move. I will miss your laugh; you have the weirdest laugh. I will miss you crying on my shoulders. I will miss you dragging me out of the room. I will miss everything about you. Don’t tell me you’ll miss me too because I’m not going to disappear from your life. I’m just resting my physical body but, my ghost is going to stay with you. Ha-ha.

I just wish that I can stay with you for much longer. I don’t know how many guys out there that will make you cry. I should’ve told you that Toby is also an a*****e but, I really don’t want to see you cry. So please, while you are reading this and I’m still alive lying in the hospital awake, please promise me that you won’t show your face crying at me. Seeing you sad and crying makes me really sad.

I created this letter because I don’t have guts to tell you that I’m already weak. But I fought, the doctor knows that I fought really hard not for my life, But for you. I wanted to live longer so bad because I wanted to be with you. I wanted to stay with you for longer and longer and longer and longer even if it takes forever.

I love you Joy. You know how much I loved you. I love you more than I loved myself. Wish you the best. And oh, check out my closet. See that shoes or heels I really don’t know what you girls call that stuff. But I really want you to take it as my memento. Remember when we we’re walking at the mall? You pointed at those shoes. And you said, “What the hell is wrong with these shoes? It’s too damn expensive. But I want it so bad.” You almost cry because you really want that shoes so bad. So I went to that mall and spent the money I kept for college knowing that I won’t live long anymore. I just wish I can see you wearing those heels.

I’m going to remind you again. Don’t be sad that I died because I am not. Be happy as I’m still with you, Always.

The most handsome friend you had,

Jam)

While reading the letter, Joy was shocked with mixed emotion on her head. She’s crying so much that she doesn’t have tears to tear in the future. She grabbed the heels, wore it and then looks for the closest people to Jam. Then, a guy showed up to clean Jams room and told her where he is. She founds the hospital and saw Jam lying in the bed dying. The doctor let her in and told her that they did everything to make him survive the pain but, Jam couldn’t take it anymore and he has an hour, a minute or even a second to live. Joy came to Jam slowly and wasn’t able to keep the promise on not crying because the way she looked at him was different. She already knows that she has fallen to Jam but, he’s already gone. She’s crying non-stop. She holds Jam’s hand and burst into tears telling her everything she wanted to tell him. Then Jam holds on to her but, in less than a second Jams heartbeat disappeared so as Joys consciousness. Joy then dreamed of Jam talking to her, making her smile and even telling her that he will always be there for her. Joy woke up. She doesn’t have anything in her mind but regrets. Regrets of telling Jam real that he is the one she’s looking for. She should’ve told him that she also loves him so much. She really wanted to tell her everything she wants about him. Year passed right after Jam died, Joy wasn’t able to cope. She still wants Jam in her life. And she was right that she doesn’t know what to do when Jam is gone.

THE END.

“Never look far. You'll never know that the one you are looking for is already with you.”

© 2015 youwontbelievethis

Author's Note

Please be kind to me. Just a newbie in writing stories.

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Reviews

Orange Juice

my brother is watching a movie and he was tempting me to go join him. I didn't, I instead read this great read. i'm a sucker for love stories and the more tragic the better. your story pulled me, its lovely.