A Nerd's Heart

A story of a nerd who never thought that someday he would actually fall for someone and a girl who's afraid to love again.

                In a fine college campus, there was a nerd who had been acing all of his subjects and he was one of a kind nerd. He has a lot of dreams in the future. It includes his future, family and the world. But, he never includes having family or even a relationship.  Most of the people would dream of having a happy and perfect family. However, he thinks that having a relationship is just a waste of time and a burden to all of his goals.  That’s why until now on his last year in school, he still didn’t experienced falling in love and he had never been attracted to anyone. He just thinks that being attracted to someone is too far on what he is and it’s not his thing. He thinks that falling in love and having a girlfriend is just a pain in the a*s. However, before the first class started, a new transferee came in and turned his life in an exciting, depressing and miraculous way. Yes, he never thought that he’ll fell for someone except this one. He never thought that there’s actually someone will change him and his view about life.

                That nerd is Christian Ali; a 20 years old geek and an NGSB (No Girlfriend Since Birth). He’s known by most of the students in the campus. He is known for his big brain, glasses and an unshaven beard. A lot of students had been bullying him since the first day of college. Most of them call him geek, nerd, psycho, four eyes, and “Black Haired Santa”. Why? Because he haven’t shaved his beard since the first day it grew. Other people think that he’s pretty weird. People asked him why he doesn’t like shaving but, he answered them in a trolling way. He always told them that he uses his beard to hide his identity. However there’s a deep reason behind that beard. Back in the days when he’s still in high school, he had a bestfriend. They were both nerds who had the same goal but the other one believed that having a relationship will make you complete. That other guy was sick and died before the end of school year. His bestfriend encouraged Christian to experience falling in love someday. He told Christian that he also wanted too but, he knew his time is a little up and he don’t want to break someone’s heart when the time comes. So, the day before his bestfriend was confined. They made an agreement. His bestfriend saw him with his first long hair on his chin. His bestfriend told him to never ever shave until someone gets his attention. “Promise me that you’ll never shave ‘til someone made you understand what love is. Until someone made you feel that you’re one of a kind not just a nerd, geek and an intelligent freak. Promise me.”It’s pretty silly if you ask me however, Christian kept that promise that’s why until now he didn’t shave his beard and mustache even once. He doesn’t want to break his promise to his friend.

                Christian attends the same section every year; Section A. There are no other smart people in the class besides him. The other smart students in the campus doesn’t want to compete against him. They think that he’s too smart. Nevertheless, there were four groups of students joined him in the class. They’re the gamers, players, emo’s and party goers. Those people don’t really care if they pass or not. Even so, they love hanging out together and the other thing Christian missed, “A Friend”.  Moving on, all of their professors had their focus on Christian most of the time because he was the only one who always participates in the class lessons. Because of that, Christian’s always been appointed to help other students who’s having a hard time on the lessons but, those people doesn’t care. The next week, a transferee came in; she’s a beautiful women and her name is Maria Zenya. Maria Zenya is a cheerful and adventurous woman. She left her previous school because of a guy. A guy who broke her heart and gave her a hard time moving on. She found out that her boyfriend was flirting with someone else but, she doesn’t know who. So, she decided to break up with him. Her bestfriend has been her crying shoulder and the one who encouraged her to break with that man and move on. She’s the one who gave Maria a lot of advice on how she can move on. However, secrets are not forever and will be revealed someday no matter what you do. Maria found out that the girl her boyfriend’s flirting, was her bestfriend. She found them having a sweet moment in the park where the both of them also went. She felt more broken so, she decided to leave the place and find a new one. She just can’t take it anymore. She ended up in a place close to Christian but, they have no idea about it. And, they have no idea that they’re going to be in the same class because they haven’t seen each other so, let me go back to the story. As I was saying earlier, Maria left her school because of a guy. She stopped for a year to be able to forget and move on. Maria transferred into Christian’s school. As Maria’s walking slowly looking for a chair to sit, the professor called her, she was asked to introduce herself in the front of the class and look for a better seat. All of the students in the class were stunned by her beauty. Most of the men fell for her while most of the girls gets insecure. Maria introduced herself and once again they were astonished by her, because of her cute voice.  Meanwhile the bearded guy Christian ignored her. After Maria introduced herself, she picked a rightful chair to sit. She looked carefully at the four groups dividing the class. Later on, she decided to sit next to Christian even though she’s a little scared because of the beard. Christian and Maria didn’t talk for a whole semester though they were seatmates.

                Before the semester ends, they were able to receive their exam results. Christian gets an A+ to all of the subjects. Meanwhile Maria also gets an A+ in all except one. A subject that’s full of computation and formulas. She’s kind of weak when it comes to numbers. Maria looked for an advice to their professor. The professor would like to help her but she can’t so, she pointed on to Christian and told Maria that he’s a genius. Maria really wanted to learn more so she stepped aside her fear of approaching Christian and started to talk to him. Maria politely asked to help her but Christian declined. Maria didn’t stop, she really wanted to learn all the formulas for the next semester but, Christian ignored her. Maria gave up and decided to study by herself.

                The next week a new semester, Christian’s walking in the library and he saw Maria studying with a number of books in front of her. He began to think that maybe Maria was really serious back then. He thinks that she’s really dedicated on learning and studying. He never thought that she’s different from the other beautiful girls he saw. Christian began to admire Maria and he joined her in the table with his books. Maria was glad after Christian joined in. They began to talk for a while and later on, Maria asked Christian if he can help her now. Christian approved since he saw how dedicated Maria is. Christian taught her everything he knew for almost every day. They also eat together and go home together since they found out that they’re just a few meters away. They sometimes study together every weekend at Maria’s house. While that were happening, Christian began to slowly fell for her.  Christian began to realize how it feels to have a friend again, to have someone to laugh with. How it feels that someone’s looking for him and asking how he’s doing. Helping Maria made him happy and they became pretty close. The time that they opened something to each other like their pasts, age, personal likes and dislikes. Christian didn’t mention everything. He didn’t talk about his late bestfriend but Maria told him her sad past teary eyed. Christian felt compassion towards Maria and it feels like he wanted to hug her but he didn’t, because he is too scared to do it.  Christian wanted to cheer her up and change the topic to stop her from crying. He was slowly falling in love to Maria. He tried to control it but, he failed. He changed the topic and asked Maria her first impression the first time she saw him. Maria stopped crying and told Christian that her first impression to him was; he was scary and stinky because of the beard. Christian laughed and Maria asked him the same question. “What was your first impression the first time you saw me?” Christian answered. “Smart, funny but kinda snobby.” Maria was surprised that Christian ignored her appearance because most of the people she asked that question had the same answer, “Beautiful.” Maria asked Christian again. “Really, Why snobby?” Christian replied, “Because of the way you move.” Maria smiled and thinks that this man, Christian is really different from the other guy she met. Then Maria asked Christian another question that made her heart melt right after hearing his answer. Maria asked him, “What do you think of my physical appearance? My face, body and everything.” The question made Christian confused on why she was asking that kind of question. Nevertheless he answered, “Yes, most of the people would actually define you beautiful as an angel. But, to be honest it doesn’t matter to me. It’s already obvious so I ignored it and instead thinks of your personality because that all that’s matter for me. Don’t get offended it’s just not all the people are beautiful on the outside and inside. Some of them are a******s. People nowadays forgot what’s the most important thing that people has, the attitude and their personalities.” Maria smiled and was amazed at Christian. After their talk Christian decided to go home and rest for a while.

                The next day Christian woke up, Maria popped into his head and he decided to shave his beard and mustache. He wanted to impress Maria and change her impression towards him. While he was shaving it, he thinks deeply on his thought and talked to his friend. “This is it bro, the time I’m going to shave these. I think I already fell for Maria. You were right, it feels really good. So, I’m going to shave it now. *Smiled”After that, he went to a barbershop for a new haircut. He asked for the latest hair trend for males. He went outside the shop and the entire girl who saw him gets attracted to him; to his new appearance. Later on, he went to school and even the guards didn’t recognize him as Christian. All the girls in the school were stunned by him. They can’t believe that he was really Christian. He approached their room 5 minutes late because of the guards not letting him in. When he’s about to enter the class, the professor stopped him and asked him who he is. He smiled and told he was Christian. Christian showed his I.D away from the professor. Professor asked him to come closely. They were surprised when he said that he was Christian. Some of them didn’t believe him. Maria noticed the commotion so; she removed her earphone and slowly turned her head and looks at the guy they’re talking. Maria was stunned and she thinks that the guy looks familiar. She looked onto his glass and thinks that he’s Christian but she can’t believe because the beard disappeared and he looks so handsome. The professor confirmed that he’s really Christian and she can’t also believe it. Nevertheless, he asked Christian to sit now. As Christian was approaching, Maria was on slow motion moment where she’s just look at Christian with her mouth wide open. Christian close Maria’s mouth before he sit and winked at her. Maria began to tease Christian. “Woah. Look at you. You’re not Black Haired Santa anymore. You look so good.” Maria fell in love to his wink. Christian told Maria to ignore his new looks and laughs.

                Two months before the finals, Maria already learned everything and now ready for the exam. Maria wanted to thank Christian so, she asked him to go on a Carnival with her. Christian respects her decision and came with Maria.  They had a lot of fun. They ride all the scary rides and Christian almost puke most of the time. He’s not used to it yet while Maria’s just enjoying it.  However, seeing her happy made him enjoy the rides even though he almost puked for a lot of time. Then, Maria pulled Christian to try the Ferris wheel for their last ride. They ride in pod number 8. The Ferris wheel has a house like pods with two windows one in the left and one in the right. While they were inside, Christian was really scared while Maria’s just enjoying the view above. Christian is afraid of heights and it’s one of his weaknesses. Few more minutes, she noticed Christian so she hold his hands and sit closely to him. Christian felt awkward and less scared.  Later on, Maria leaned on his shoulders and Christian's heart beats faster than normal but he ignored it and just enjoyed the moment. After that, Christian walked Maria home. In front of Maria’s door, Maria hugged and kissed Christian on his cheeks. Christian felt happy while waving goodbye. Christian went to his room cherishing Maria’s warmth body, soft hand and sweet kiss. The next day Christian woke up, his first thought was Maria. So, he bought a red rose on the way to school. He hid it on his bag and decided to tell Maria his feelings. But sad for Christian, Maria didn’t show up. Christian did the same thing the next day. He bought a new flower and hid it on his bag still, Maria didn’t show up. Christian started to feel sad and confused. He asked his self “Is this the side effect of love?” Christian thinks that he over think too much so he decided to wait for Maria to attend the school but, 2 weeks later she still not showing up or attending the school. Christian became desperate. He went to their house right after the class. He really misses Maria and he can’t wait to tell her everything. Christian went to Maria’s house but, she’s also not there. However, Christian didn’t stop and he looked for an old address of Maria in different social media websites so, he searched Maria’s full name in the internet. After an hour of searching, Christian found three different addresses from three different social media sites. Christian tried the closest one but, he failed to see her there. The second one’s location was out of the country but, he didn’t hesitate and he instantly comes there just to find Maria. However he failed again. The last one was his last hope and it’s really far. It’s a 2 days ride but, Christian didn’t care at all. Christian went to the last address and he saw Maria about to enter the house. Christian shouted at her smiling and calling her name. “Maria! I finally saw you.” Christian walked towards Maria and told her to come back to school because the final exam is closing in. Christian also told her to don’t waste her hard work and come back to study again, with him. Maria felt glad right after seeing Christian. However, the reason she left was because of him. She started to fall for Christian but, she’s not ready yet. She’s still scared to fall in love again and start a new relationship so she acted cold towards Christian and told him to go home because she’s not coming back. Regardless of what Maria said, Christian didn’t stop and still encourages Maria to come back until he started to piss off Maria. Maria walked to Christian and shouted at him. “Why do you care? Get lost!” Maria pushed Christian away from the house. Christian felt upset and was stunned by her reaction. Tears began to fall from his eyes. He felt broken and he didn’t know what to say anymore so, he just turned around took the rose out of his bag while Maria’s looking at him. He dropped the rose and told her. “I care because I thought you were different from the others. And I care because I love you.” Christian went home teary-eyed. He can’t believe that falling for someone would actually hurt him so hard that he can’t think of anything anymore. He felt numb crying on his bed, thinking of what happened earlier. And thinking of it made him really depressed. He talked to his late friend again and asked him a few things. “Brother it hurts, it hurts so bad. You didn’t tell me that it would actually hurt me that I don’t want to see the next sunshine anymore, it hurts that I don’t want to get off of this bed and it hurts so much and I started to feel numb. But, I don’t blame you for it. I just wish you’re still here.” While that was happening, Maria saw the rose of Christian and sadly took it home. She’s just afraid to be in love again and she can’t tell it to Christian because she thinks that she’ll break his heart however, she already did. She started to think of the things Christian said to her earlier. She can’t believe that she blew him off and pushed him away. The next day, she decided to come back, say sorry to Christian, maybe get along with him and wait for the right time for them. Maria came back to the school after three days with the rose of Christian. However, Maria didn’t saw Christian. She asked their professors but they said he was absent since yesterday.  Maria asked for Christian’s phone number if he has any but the professor gave her nothing. So, Maria went to Christian’s house. Maria knocked at the door but, no one’s opening. The door wasn’t locked so she came in to find out if Christian’s there. Then, she went to Christian’s room and slowly opened the door. Maria was shocked on what she saw. She saw Christian lying on the floor bleeding. She suddenly called 911 for help and tried to wake up Christian. She hugged him crying. She hugged Christian tight and asked “Why would you do this? See, look at me. Hey, I’m back. Let’s study again. Please you just made me realize that someone cares for me. Please, don’t die. We’ll work it out somehow. Please don’t Christian.” *sobbing. The rescue team came in and brought Christian to the ambulance with Maria. Maria just holds on Christian’s hands. However, the doctor didn’t let Maria inside the operating room. So, she waited outside nervous and don’t know what to do. Few more hours, the doctor came to her and told her that Christian tried to take his own life with a knife cutting his wrist. They also found out that he’s in a deep depression and haven’t eaten for days. Nonetheless, Christian was lucky that she was able to call for help quick. The doctor left Maria in shock. Later on, Maria decided to come back on Christian’s room and looked for some notes and reason why he did it. Maria found a dead rose with an envelope under it. She opened it and read the letter inside.

“Thank you for teaching me how to love and to be hurt. I feel more human now but, how am I suppose to move on? I can’t eat, sleep and even stand up out my bed. I rather be dead than feeling this kind of feelings. I just can’t stand it anymore. I shall meet you on the otherside. But, don’t worry I am not mad at you. I’m just mad at myself for I wasn’t able to endure the pain. If this was just a mind game I could’ve solve it but I guess falling in love wasn’t a mind game but a heart thing. So, be happy for now and I’ll make you happier on the otherside. I usually don’t forget anything. That’s why I won’t forget you even though I know you’re trying to forget and avoid me. Thanks for helping me fulfill my promise to my friend. I have nothing to write anymore so, I’m going to end it by saying Goodbye.”

 Maria cried while reading the letter and she can’t believe it. She realized that she was the reason of it. She can’t believe that Christian was crazy and serious about her. Maria loses her mind and she doesn’t know what to do anymore. So, she decided to go away, far away from the place but she promised that she will return someday. Few more days, Christian woke up and saw his parents. His father told him everything. “The doctor told me that a girl called for help and saved your life. And I think she’s also the one who call me using your phone. Your mom weren’t able to thank her because she already left.” Christian knew that it was Maria, the girl they’re talking about. Christian couldn’t believe that she came back. His parents brought him home to their real house. While on the way home, his father gave him an envelope together with a red rose. They told him that they went to his house and saw it in the bed with his name so they took it and decided to bring it and gave it to him. They arrived to their home and Christian went to his old room to read what’s inside. He saw his own letter but, there’s something written at the back. He saw Maria’s handwriting and started to read it.

“Christian, I’m sorry for what I did to you the last time. I should’ve not pushed you away. I should’ve realized that you came for me because you were concerned. I feel like an a*****e for pushing you away and now I don’t have a face to show after reading your letter. I’m sorry I made you do something bad to yourself. I can’t believe that you would actually take your own life because of a girl like me, a girl who’s afraid to love again. I thought you were just a nerd who doesn’t care at anything but you were different. You’re sweet, intelligent, funny and kind. I can’t help but cry after seeing you bleeding a lot. And at that night when I saw you lying in the bed, you made me realize a lot. You made me realize that someone actually cared for me. You’re the only one who cared for me. Even my parents don’t. You made me realize that I’m worth dying for. You also made me realize that I love you. But, what can I do now? I mean us. I want to work it but I’m still scared. I can’t still forget my past. Yes, I love you but, I just can’t. I always have the feeling that someday I’ll get hurt again. I’m afraid to love again even though I know that I already love you. Please take care of yourself. I just hope a miracle happens for the both of us.”

After reading the letter, Christian gave up on Maria but, he won’t forget him and he's still hoping that somehow, someday a miracle happens to them.

After a year, Christian came back to school and he still loves Maria. He just can’t forget about her. She was his first love and still hoping for a miracle to happen. Meanwhile Maria was with her parents now and decided to come back to the place, take a walk at the carnival and yes, she’s still thinking and in love to Christian. She also hopes that a miracle happens. However, the carnival helped them to see each other again unexpectedly. The same date they went to the carnival Christian came back. As Christian was walking towards the carnival, he saw a little boy selling a red rose. He bought one and went to the carnival. Meanwhile, Maria decided to go to the carnival. While she’s on the way to the carnival, she saw a little girl selling red roses on the road so she also bought one and heads straight to the carnival. They missed each other a lot so they have the same thing in their minds. Going to the carnival to cherish the memories they made together in it. Maria arrived a minute after Christian. They were both looking at the ride but, weren’t able to see each other and they’re just a meter away from each other. Then, a heavy rain occurred. They both cover themselves in the same place. Still, they weren’t able to see each other as the people in the same place were blocking their views and they’re really close.  Few more minutes, the rain stopped and they went different directions but they both wanted to ride the Ferris wheel one more time before they go home. So, they headed the same way. Christian fall in line and Maria was just at his back. Maria wasn’t able to recognize Christian because he was wearing a jacket and the hood was covering his head but, she noticed that they’re both holding a red rose. Nevertheless, she ignored it. Later on, the operator asked Christian if it’s okay for him to ride with a stranger because they can’t let anyone ride solo now for there’re a lot of people in line. Christian didn’t care and told them that it doesn’t matter because he just wants to ride it. Christian went in directly in the right side of the pod and just looked at the window while playing the rose with his hands. Then, Maria also came in and looked at the different side of the pod also holding the rose. They had no idea that they’re in the same pod, same date the last time they went to the carnival and the same pod number; 8. However while they’re at the top of the Ferris wheel, the power disappeared and the Ferris wheel stopped. They were both strucked by the impact of the Ferris wheel after it suddenly stopped and dropped the rose they’re holding. They picked it  up together at the same time but, they weren’t able to recognize themselves because it was too dark inside. While they were picking up the rose Christian giggled and said“What a lovely rose.” Maria recognized his voice and tried look at his face even though it was dark. Suddenly, the power came back and they saw each other again, face to face. They were both shocked and Maria’s tears fell of a sudden. She was about to say sorry but, Christian suddenly kissed her and said. “Don’t say sorry. You didn’t do anything wrong. I’ve waited for this all my life. I hoped to see you again. I missed you and I still love you. I love you so much Maria.” Maria cried and can’t believe Christian just forgot what happened before and still loves her. Maria then kissed Christian back and told him that she loves him too and missed him so much. They went out the pod teary eyed and happy. The operators had no idea what happened inside but, they’re glad that they’re smiling with tears in their eyes.

THE END.

Miracles do come true. Not only in this story but hopefully in your life someday. 

Thanks for reading. ☺

Author's Note

ignore grammar problems, what do you think of the story?