ball point tip

ball point tip

 

 

among the expressions

finite writing

a measure of love

like a mug of coffee

with no refill

 

he's a wealth of sugar sweet

anomaly

but inconsiderate cream with his 

callous stir,

her heart caffeined into submission

 

she wants endless cups

he wants her to pay the bill,

leave the table available

for his next customer.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

8/20/16

Reviews

[Rebecca Leigh]

The imagery is wonderful. well done

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Rebecca...

j.

[Lyn Anderson]

Seems a lot like my ex. Left the bills for anyone but him, literally, and figuratively. Another great metaphor.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, KL...
j.

[Corset]

oh snap...........................

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thanks, Corset...

j.

[Corset]

:P.................................................C.

[Lydia Shutter]

Ah, a case of one person loving the other far more than she is loved. She takes it all...black coffee or with cream and sugar....just to smell the aroma. The metaphor is superb. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Lydi...you are encouraging...

j.

[caesarkreshen]

Bottomless cup might fit the theme of this, dunno.

I like how it starts:


among the expressions
finite writing
a measure of love

You always lose me a bit when you go into simile and metaphor. I think because you go super hard. Like the first three lines were a good opening, then almost every line after that was purely metaphor.

I like my coffee black, ehhh. haha. Have fun.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, caesar.

j.

[Alfred Kukitz]

I'm tempted to offer you a dip in the inkwell, stir those molecules, afterward have a coffee. You are coming back, I can taste it!

Another cup please!

Regards,
Al

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Al.

j.

[Bacchus]

ball point pens dry out-
you need a good fountain one
that you can refill
and not shake to death to get to write...
always do like whatever you're writing with anyway though.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Bacchus....

j.

[Ana Papaya]

Sometimes it's more about the chase, and once you have it you don't want it anymore.
Its fine if both sides play that way, fast food sticks with fast food, fine dining with fine dining.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, you are so right....thank you, Ana...

j.

[SJ Mullins]

Yeah, what Ana said. I don't think I could comment any better. :)

[andrew mitchell]

yes very clever j for some when the conquest is over, conquered, they have to move on another quest.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, andrew.

j.

[redzone]

maybe she should just bop him upside the head and move on to someone who has a bottomless coffee cup and the refills are creamier and sweeter than the ones before... there are a few maybe who would appreciate her taste for coffee and conversation... I'm available.. er... I mean its one of your metaphoric gems Jacob and I have missed reading them..

redzone

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you're too funny...thank you for the smile.

j.