Moon Dance

Moon Dance

 

 

i was just a figment of your imagination

never really existed

did you?

did we?

 

was the us just mirrors

with untrue reflection

with tainted recollection

 

cracks in the glass

resembling diamonds

but the carats lie

 

there were two of us.

we know that much is real

but in a plane soaring into the Bermuda Triangle

of memory

 

perhaps we were just a theory that fell off 

that flat surface of a world we thought was round

hearts we thought as connected jewels

 

moon bulbs

that could light up a failing star

even as we were falling out of sight

 

did you? 

did we?

 

maybe the answer is better left

a filament in the figment.

 

 

erin-cilberto

8/11/19

Reviews

[@_av_poetry]

Lovely poem. A touch sad. I like the metaphors. You've used a lot of imagination here and you've used it well, in a way that fits the meaning very well. Nice one :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review,
j.

[Kay]

Great symbolism in this poem - the moon is bright and alluring but out of reach, much like daydreams. I was especially drawn to the line "perhaps we were just a theory that fell". A romantic interest existing only as a 'theory' is an interesting concept and wonderful word choice. It emphasizes a sense of wanting to believe in an idea enough to turn it real, but the truth seems only to be 'resembling diamonds' and 'the carats lie'.

I like how the questioning 'did you? did we?' feels as though there should be a rest of the sentence. We can fill in the blanks ourselves, hoping that we're recalling an actual memory and not 'a filament in the figment'.

Well written!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you very much for the kind review, Kay,
j.

[Einstein Noodle]

dramatic closing .filaments are so very thin and fragile yet burn with such a intensity ..according to watt ;)))))))) mirrors are mirrors in the mirror for us eh!? never ending source .. sad refrains of failed loves .. we do see what we want .. and/or what we want to change .. like the pimples and lack of facial hair as that idiot teenager ;} another hot and muggy day here in the Ozarks .. hope the morning blesses you sir!
E.
ps. i'm with Kelly on the Van Morrison edge .. love that guy!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, Van is great...thank you for your words, and the smile...
j.

[Kelly Scheppers]

I had Van Morrison in my head, but I kept the tempo of you. Engaging and enlightening, as always, J!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Kelly,
j.

[John the Baptist]

Really liked the image "the Bermuda Triangle/ of memory." Memory can be exactly like that. Things that seem so clear at one time can just disappear into it. The relationship that seemed so intense then is now just an "untrue reflection." It all can do terrible things to your head.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, John,
j.

[Coyote Poetry]

Wonderful and wonderful use of words Jacob.
"did you?
did we?"
I like the above questions. The questions of the moon dance leave us wishing for more. Thank you for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Coyote,
j.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome my friend.

[KTizzle]

Reading this makes me consider infatuation and exploration of the mind when considering a past relationship that was young and full of passion. I know when I become infatuated with someone, all these scenarios bounce around in my head and then sometimes I get lost in the idea of a person and being together than the actual person. Or when you're in love and have so much passion, I can imagine getting lost in those emotions and have the constant question of if we are seeing a person or what we think we want to see.

Kind regards,

Kianna

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i like your reply, Kianna...yes i think sometimes we are infatuated with the idea of being in love more than understanding what it takes to make love successful...thank you for your words,
j.

[Ted Kniffen]

What could be seldom turns into should be. Perhaps we were blinded by youth and looking back she does not seem more real than that ghost looking over our shoulder.

What a marvelous night for a moon dance...as Van the man sang.

Good one, j.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, love that song..thanks for your words, Ted,
j.

[gram linski]

Great stuff, esoteric, and full of mindful poetry, just out of taste, just of touch

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, gram...appreciate your visit and words,
j.

[Chris Shaw]

The moon dance, love full of hope and promise. What a contrast to the nosedive into the Bermuda triangle. Lost forever, a love that might as well not have existed. That strong magnetic attraction that comes with love, so off compass.it's gone without trace. That's where you took me Jacob.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insightful words, Chris,
j.