unfinished melody

unfinished melody

 

 

 

i was composed

until you kissed me off my feet

my tranquil demeanor lying at yours

 

and your taciturn eyes

held me to the ground

i surrendered years ago

 

and that white flag

is still

wrapped around my heart...

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

8/20/19

Reviews

[Lorry]

I am going to go with the word delicious for this one Jacob. This was so relateable, yet uniquely yours, that I may be imagining it, but I do believe I was holding my breath, with each line taking me into a feeling of someone that has played in my greatest hits of memories and fond recollections. As well as some not so fond 😀
It is one of the main reasons I am glad to be a writer. Our imaginations of the what ifs can be far more intoxicating than the reality, yet it gives us the tools to describe so eloquently, how they affected our lives, both good and bad.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Lorry,
j.

[R.E. Ray]

The best thing about an unfinished melody is we get to imagine the end we desire... and play it again and again.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

that is true, thank you for your words, R.E.
j.

[Fran Marie]

A poignant piece with
such intense emotions
beautifully penned as always in your unique style
Nice Work, Jacob;

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Fran,
j.

[redzone]

that was some kiss Jacob and I know exactly what you mean.... the kind of kiss that shakes the universe, creates the ocean tides, calms the restless soul, exciting the blood to flow, while making everything seem just right... I'll bet you can still taste the lipstick she was wearing... I sure as hell hope you asked for and got a lot more.... ;0)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, i can still taste it....thank you, Curt,
j.

[Chris Shaw]

A heart wrapped in a white flag permanently. Straight jacket says I, rather than a comfort blanket. This speaks to me of a lifetime of surrender, yes an unfinished melody to the tune of chains :)) Love that first stanza Jacob. Another great write from your pen.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Chris....
j.

[Einstein Noodle]

i am surprised the music is all in the title, jacob! ;) challenges the reader to be a bit of a conductor to carry the tune through .. love the white flag wrap .. killer says i .. at once comforting as a cocoon and at the same time binding like a straight jacket ... such a brutal cold eyed woman that i see .. have not read of taciturn eyes before but i recognize them anywhere ..another love struck poem so easy to relate to .. thanks for sharing sir!
E.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, E.
j.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

As always Jacob you take an allegorical slant and squeeze musical notes from it filled with the emotions of loss and regret.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, John,
j.

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

This is beautiful Jacob was just on here putting music on and saw this I love it! hope you are well.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Julie...and doing fine....hope you are as well.
j.

[Julie McCarthy (juliespenhere)]

im ok thanks. windy here today, they expect up to huge winds but gives me time to write ha ha , sunny here.