abuse of art

abuse of art

 

 

words pistol-whipped to fit

into bloody stanzas

told to straighten up and fly right

to rhyme right

to rhythm right

to mean just one thing

not one more thing

just that one thing

that the poem confessed

alas the truth serum worked

 

a few of the words escaped

now the rhythm is askew

and some of the rhyme

i ask you

 

was it slant rhyme?

and is it still near?

 

can we capture it again?

or should we just let it run free verse?

 

and are meanings beaten out of poems

really meanings?

 

or just tired poems

giving in.

 

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

3/5/2020

Reviews

[Patricia Wedel]

dear Jacob... you are a strict teacher, but brilliant... you are a collection of the fine art of poetry. Where is the Key to your secrets?
truly, Pat

[jacob erin-cilberto]

just a lucky muse....i am merely a conduit...i don't feel responsible for most of what i write...just happens...
thank you for your kind words,
j.

[Patricia Wedel]

Greatness is judged by a person’s humility.
Even I have a wee leprechaun muse. Top of the morning to you... gently through the Heather... Pat

[Wanda Vergara-Yates]

I shall exhaust my meter whip until those lines rhyme in proper time! Tap, tap, tap! Snap to! Stand at attention there, 2nd verse!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

ha ha...yes, second verse, same as the first..i'm Henry the 8th i am...da da da.....

love your funny reply...
j.

[Wanda Vergara-Yates]

but i'm rather fond of my head. I'd prefer to keep it.
w.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

sorry, go ahead...ha ha, was just thinking of Herman's Hermits...with your reply....
j.

[Wanda Vergara-Yates]

It is too much fun sparring with you. is good to spur me forward.
w.

[alanwgraham]

Very thoughtful words on our
word 'art' Jacob. Most of my writing here is short stories but I've also tried all sorts of what might be described as poetry ranging from a sonnet to limericks (a symptom of my bipolar funnily enough!) to free verse. It's been very interesting to look at the feedback which is often contradictory and how badly upset some seem to get. For me I feel that you basically start with blank paper, some ideas that you want to share and you do what suits you. Particularly with the poetry using metaphor and imagery the reader can only take their own meaning from it as they would do with abstract art.
Talking about poetry as you've done here will hopefully make us think..
heers,
Alan

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I believe, too, in doing what suits you...what fits your talent...some are really great at form...some better with free verse, some haiku...we all find our niche or maybe a combination of...
yes, with metaphor and imagery, abstract, reader gets what he or she will...i firmly believe that.
Poems once a writer lets them be read no longer belong to the poet, but now to the reader.'
thank you, Alan,
j.

[Rania M]

Sometimes we must leave things be. Let it just flow out of us. Not thrash a rhyme or verse out of it. Can we tweak our souls? No! Then neither should we what comes naturally from us. I love what you said here and in total agreement. ❤️

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, i don't think we can tweak our souls....and definitely not our hearts...we write them out with immediacy of feeling and hand them in...whatever grade is to be.
thank you, Rania.
j.

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Indeed, a scathing indictment of the leisure in which the "new" has torn apart values in wording, well done, good read.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Thomas,
j.

[Carolynn]

Perhaps when one is schooled in the art it could make it harder to break the rules, for me it’s just all about what comes to mind and how I want it to sound - and since I don’t know the rules I wouldn’t have a clue if I was breaking them lol :) genius write as always Jacob!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and i think what comes to mind and heart is real poetry....form is great...but when words are jammed into a certain form, they often don't have the same impact, they could feel robotic.
thanks for your input, Carolynn.
j.

[Wanda Vergara-Yates]

so very true. sometimes you have to break that rule and let the poetry out of its prison.

[Crowley]

Ha...this is so very clever. I would let them run free verse, they will either find their happiness in the cafe of a non rhyming stanza or will turn rogue prose and grow fat and happy amongst kinesthetics or a bit of dirty dialogue.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i like the idea of letting them run free...and that rogue prose on the loose...we must be careful..ha ha.
thanks, Crowley,
j.

[Ayesha]

wow..
the dilemma and resentment involved in the creation makes the creator dissent and thus fabricate a work of outstanding artistry. Just as you did.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Ayesha,
j.

[R.E. Ray]

J., this captures many of the poets/poems I read in the Cafe and elsewhere. Sometimes I can't tell if the writer is truly talented because they try to follow some strict form. As part of my self-directed education, I've tried many forms but seem to drift back to my natural flow of whatever. Sometimes a rhyme and syllable count appeal to me. Other times, not. I think the good ones are genuine to themselves, and the very best are genuine and talented. And, this extends well beyond art and poetry.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I was told on one site that I wasn't a poet because I didn't try every form imaginable...i was stuck in a free verse rut.
thank you, R.E.
j.

[R.E. Ray]

You're welcome, J. And, I hope you laughed at that comment. I don't believe anyone in the Cafe would say such a foolish thing.

[¿]

You scribbled my agony Sir. There's so much to fight with for a good presentable poem. If one writes a poem he/she tries to find enjoyment or satisfaction from it at first before publishing. Sometimes no way a poem feels like publishable which almost ate one's precious hours!
And imagine writing down a great write on a smart device then not saving?
Hysterical pain!
Amazingly written!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, napkins...find them in old poetry books a lot...with scribblings of something started...but not finished...and found some worth saving...
leaving them and coming back...not a bad idea.
thank you, Tahsin,
j.

[¿]

Also in rose petals, You're welcome!😇