A Line in Winter

Thanks to my friend "T" for the first two lines...he said them to me in an email and gave me permission to use them as a springboard for a poem...and this is that poem.

A Line in Winter

 

 

play pretty for me,

and dance for the flowers gone

 

let your ethereal dress wisp the wind

as the grass turns rust

and leaves color my world

before crunching under the feet

of solemnity

 

November is vesting itself

of an imminent coldness

with no movement, obvious

 

the music will stop

the trees will bow to each other

 

and suffer another winter

 

so 

play pretty for me,

and dance for the flowers gone

 

dance for the flowers gone.

 

erin-cilberto

10/24/2020

Reviews

[Sami Khalil]

"the music will stop

the trees will bow to each other



and suffer another winter"

[Sami Khalil]

The writer is achingly feeling the change of seasons, the tampered dance of life, the gains and losses of something or somethings. I feel the sad undertones, the imminent coldness of reality and the stoppage of music. Your writes are touching to the deepest cores sir Jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Sami,
j.

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome Jacob.

[Chris Shaw]

Wonderful descriptive write Jacob, with much depth of feeling. I will dance with you for the flowers gone. Like you I have lost many. Your second stanza is superb my friend.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you so much, Chris,
j.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

"Dance for the flowers gone." Indeed as we grow older time accelerates and we wonder where all those years went. Every week seems to fly away in that breeze and winter makes it feel all the worse as we draw back and stay indoors more. Love the descriptions in this piece as I sit looking at the garden and daily have to go out and sweep leaves!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, John,
j.

[andrew mitchell]

a changing of the guards so to speak and how graceful nature is with the trees excepting these changes. We on the other hand do not!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

so true....thank you, andrew,
j.

[.]

Aging is like winter... Isn't it. Fallen leaves... Greyish skin deprive of green.... Let's embrace this coldness. Spring is coming..

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your poetic response, Dreamer.
j.