I don't write love poems too good

I don't write love poems too good

here is one,

the moon falls and rises

and .....

oh my God, it's gone

well, there is still how the sun rises with your smile

and I am mesmerized by your...

oh my God, it's gone

I imagine how sure I am of your forever promise

to love me until 

I ....

oh my God, where did you go?

here is one,

the moon....

gone

I scream I love you over the mountain

then it crumbles

an avalanche of freezing spite

I am buried in lonely

oh my God, that is not a line of love

I am fishing for something now,

your beauty is to me, like...

I cannot remember what you look like now

smile, this has all been a ruse

my muse

don't write love poems so good.

erin-cilberto

6/10/22

Reviews

[Robert Haigh]

A wryly written, bitter-sweet poem, which certainly made me smile. "an avalanche of freezing spite/I am buried in lonely" - sad, but refreshingly original imagery. A good write, for sure!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your kind review, Robert,
j.

[CD Campbell]

Exceptional comedic biting prose. But, I know there is some bitterness in there between the lines that makes this also a tad regretful. I like how you can mix it up and add the layers like a cake. Great poem from first to last word. CD

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insightful words, CD,
j.

[Fran Marie]

Wanna bet? i think your
muse is spot on when writing
Love poems I really enjoyed
reading this piece. I like
the lines
an avalanche of freezing spite
I am buried in lonely..nicely done

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Fran,
j.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

You bring a comical nature to heartbreak. Love tis poem

[jacob erin-cilberto]

we have got to laugh or we will go nuts.
thank you, Dale,
j.

[andrew mitchell]

I don’t write good poems fullstop in the manner in which poetry is written correctly is where the title took me lol. But it’s fun all the same. Such a likeable poem on the difficulties of writing a love poem and equally has a message on the difficulties maintaining a love relationship. I suppose all things worthwhile dont come easy particularly if it’s more one sided. Like the format J, nice writing.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Ringo's best solo song..."It don't come easy"
I guess we have to pay the dues if we want to write the blues...and Most of us older poets, have paid our dues.
thank you, andrew,
j.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

In some weird way I totally agree with the message of this piece. A gentle poke and satire to love, with a thought that won me over. Considering I am just awful at writing poems on love. A thing I probably have the least experience on if I'm being honest. This poem brought not just a chuckle but a large smile as well. Wonderful poem J.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I really appreciate your words, Carlos,
j.

[redzone]

perhaps your muse should leave the writing to you Jacob and just stick to the inspiring task.... but then here is an idea, you and your muse are one and the same.. which of course means that you (as your muse) does write love poems and writes them very well indeed.... even when the love poem leaves the reader somewhat sadden by the lack of forever more.... but then I guess, like life itself, love is but a fleeting moment and then it is gone..... and one final observation, a love poem lasts far far longer than the love it writes about and for some infinitely....

dare I say I enjoyed your muse's attempt at love poetry Jacob...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I appreciate your kind review, Curt,
j.

[Patricia Wedel]

Love poems are written in the Sky where Clouds are sculpting moments of Hearts entwined… the Thunder Knows the Beauty of Lightening… It is Written that you Both were Smitten… tenderly, Pat

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, dear Pat,
j.

[Chris Shaw]

You are a poet with a huge heart and you my friend know only too well the ingredients for a love poem. You have your own special recipe. You know I both laughed and almost cried over this piece. I can imagine you sitting down and penning it too and reading it out to Hank. She loved it, so did I.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Awww, Hank just laughed...
thank you kindly, Chris,
j.

[Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn..]

Jacob,

Your talent and imagination run loose via inspiration of muse never fails to amaze me ... I cannot but help to relate to this piece as anytime a man wants to make time with a woman, perhaps that special significant other woman, some event, some thing, will always throw a monkey wrench in the works, usually our own unfortunate and unthinking bad timing ... With all of this said, this piece of your heart and mind set to pen of page is just almost hilarious and yet so real to real life that one could easily sit down and cry just thinking about all those missed moments where we had the perfect romantic moment planned, naturally as a wanna get laid man, and suddenly: Oops, foiled again ... And again ... And again ... LOL! ... I truly enjoyed this poem ...

Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn de Graham

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I appreciate your response, Marvin...
well said...
j.