ghost soldier

ghost soldier

fortress shaken

buttress impinged

heart's defenses

an Alamo of kind

no feelings left alive

in the massacre

just a stone cold cavalryman 

impervious 

to the next attack

erin-cilberto

8/21/22

Reviews

[red93]

Nice one JE-C and again you sustain the metaphor with conviction. Excellent.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, red.
Many, many years ago I sent some poems to a magazine and got a really terse rejection...
reminding me that I was not carrying the metaphors throughout the poem...I just left them hanging.
I was a bit miffed, but that rejection really helped my poetry...so I owe that editor for waking me up to what I was not doing.
thank you,
j.

[red93]

✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️

[John the Baptist]

Well, as the Alamo legend states, you had to cross a line in the sand to be there. In both love and war, there is usually a choice.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, usually there is. thank you for your insight, John,
j.

[duff]

I like it Jacob. This hit home and its a skillful portrayal. Great work.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, duff,
j.

[redd Brick Keshner]

Fortresses were probably the introduction I have had in the world of soldiering. Of course there are the throw pillow and cushion fortresses of childhood battles, along with any other furniture that could be moved and assembled. And the shaking, quaking, moments before the walls come crashing down. And with playtime half done or not nearly quite over, a resoluteness rises and the defenders resolve to go down fighting. The situation is far removed from actual battle but the elementary moving parts remain in atomic form. Oh my Jacob where this has taken me, lol.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

And your response took me back to playing soldier when I was a kid...thank you for that,
j.

[Ken e Bujold]

bloody hell, Frederick your review is a poem in itself

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

a very hard hitting poem that touches on the great casualty of war.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Dale,
j.

[Chris Shaw]

I see this short poem as love gone sour, perhaps over a prolonged period of time, when there has been so much angst, there is nothing left in the tank. The heart is dead.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your understanding words, Chris,
j.

[Andrew John]

Rather makes us shiver, reading something like this. Thanks, J.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I appreciate you, Andrew,
j.

[Coyote Poetry]

The new world Jacob. We all are becoming ghost soldiers. I liked the twist of thoughts. You made the reader ponder many things. Thank you, my friend, for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Coyote,
j.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome Jacob.

[Ken e Bujold]

I see Winston refers to it as the un-love poem which it certainly does read as on first glance. Still, I think there may be a bit more working here. I read it several times, at different speeds, placing my eyes stress on different lines and I also think I can see this as a wee bit of melancholy regret. A residual effect of love you could say. Why? The title, Ghost Soldiers, invokes the thought that ghosts never truly leave us, they linger on in our lives. The first 3 lines suggest a redoubt under siege but never quite overrun, and the last line refers to the Alamo which has become a cultural touchstone, a moment in time shared by all. Massacre brings to mind Custer, and again its a touchstone that is tragedy made large, a moment shared. Finally the stone cold calvaryman is a projection, an outsider's view of what they perceive as a lack of emotion or empathy. In my experience the workings of another mind is never so clear as we imagine. It's us we are projecting. So you see Jacob, its not necessarily an un-love poem.

Then again it could be I'm nothing more than a romantic fool. Whichever, I like the poem

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I like where you took this, Ken...
appreciate your insights very much,
j.

[Lydia Shutter]

And yet on to the next love we march....not caring that our heart might be shattered yet again. No remembering the Alamo when it comes to love, is there? Great metaphor! Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Lydi,
j.