Witness

Witness

 

 

 

rival serials

same block

same DNA

 

it's the urge

to ruin

to murder love

 

it's a wino

watching from beneath an awning

Yawning to sleep with his bottle

 

thought he saw something or some things

someone or some ones

that bottle's throat clutched with dirty fingers

 

like the ones she never saw coming.

 

 

erin-cilberto

3/30/23

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

A series of sad tales Jacob. Sometimes, we cannot win. When the whiskey is our final friend. We are alone. Thank you my friend for sharing the amazing poetry and your thoughts.
Coyote

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Coyote...
j.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome Jacob.

[John the Baptist]

I wonder if the serials mentioned are in fact serial killers. Perhaps they do share our DNA, meaning in a lot of ways they're not so different from the rest of us. The wino saw something but was too drunk to realize what it was. There was no way he could have helped the woman who died.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and they blend in, don't they?
thank you, John,
j.

[Relic]

Scary. This echoes the state of...well...a bunch of cities right now. California comes to mind most of all. Cities are falling apart. The homeless are dangerous. And I see no end in sight.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, lots of decay in the cities, thank you, Relic,
j.

[Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn..]

Jacob,

Very profound and though provoking writing set to pen of page here that all should heed and learn from ...

Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn de Graham

[jacob erin-cilberto]

life can just be cut way too short...thank you, Marvin,
j.

[willweb]

I like that, dark, dirty and dangerous.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, will...
j.

[W. Barrett Munn]

Sounds like one of the tv shows about crimes, and your final line is nicely disjunctive.

Winston

[jacob erin-cilberto]

only not from a tv show in this case...
lived it.
thank you, Winston

[Mauricio Montoya]

I had to read,go back and read again I'm at loss of words as your write because I can't say whether Can say if it's a good writing but keep writing

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thanks, Mauricio...I keep on trying.
j.

[Mauricio Montoya]

If it could get better

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

Amazing
The climax at the end a shock to the reader
Love it

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Julie,
j.

[Chris Shaw]

This is so different from you J. Packs a punch and that final line literally is the killer. Watched it play out in eerie black and white.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thanks Chris...you understand how hard this was to write.
j.

[Chris Shaw]

I do and not only that I felt a shiver running down my spine.

[DIVYA]

The dirty fingers around the bottles throat...this packed such a punch. The end crept in unsuspected, unexpected and so insidious. Loved it!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you divya....you know where it came from.
j.

[DIVYA]

Yes and its amazing!