Love Poem

Love Poem

a beautiful accident occurred 

the day we met,

your beauty ran into my eyes

and then your voice scraped

the fender of my heart

and we laughed and exchanged

assurances of love

later exchanging vows

and living under one policy

some beautiful cumulus 

and accident forgiveness

neither of us 

felt we needed.

erin-cilberto

5/16/23

Reviews

[Soyam]

How sweet that is!

: ) a good one!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, Soyam,
j.

[sylvia b barber]

This is lovely-
For Freeform poetry I think the “ands” are not necessary

When your voice bumped
the fender - my heart
we laughed and exchanged
Promises of love

an accident -
forgiveness
neither of us
felt we needed.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I like your poem, changes the metaphor more than what I intended...but I see where you were headed.
thanks for the words and suggestions.
j.

[Cherrie Palmer]

You create the mood do easy then severe the connection.
Your wit is sharper than ever. However we do need to discuss the gap in your coverage.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I really thought I paid the last installment---are you sure?
:)))
Thank you, Cherrie...
j.

[Coyote Poetry]

I love the poetry Jacob.
"a beautiful accident occurred
the day we met,
your beauty ran into my eyes"
The above lines. I did like. Me and wife, almost thirty years. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry and your thoughts.
Coyote

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thirty years...that is so wonderful, Coyote...
a great thing these days.
j.

[Corset]

exquisite delivery J. We're in good hands I'm sure.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Corset,
j.

[Alla Antsis]

Beautifully written. Jacob!
Accidents happened… Unconscious by design - maybe, totally unexpected unlikely. That how love begins!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Yes, might be around the next bend...
Thank you, Alla,
j.

[John the Baptist]

From the sound of things, you got totaled. I hope your premiums didn't go up.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

they already did, and I had to switch love insurance...
hard to get after so many accidents.
j.

[W. Barrett Munn]

sounds like you had roadside assistance and a low deductible.

Winston

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Clever, Clever....

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

This is beautiful, Jacob, in so many ways. I love "your beauty ran into my eyes" and "then your voice scraped the fender of my heart."

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you mucho, Linda Marie.
j.

[Lydia Shutter]

Serendipity brings people together....but sometimes it turns out to be an accident. But I think that you tell the tale of people who met and married and were actually happy. No forgiveness necessary. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

sometimes none is...thank you, Lydi...
j.