Mirrored Confusion

Mirrored Confusion

A Poem by S. A. Venus

a poem in my created Dasyure Form


 amid the silence
 turbulent feelings abound
 whirling thoughts edging on violence
 darkness hovers without sound
 in thickening air

 see the tendons break
 as madness takes reign of care
 the price borne from one simple mistake
 a heart denied all reprieve
 senses first to leave

 failed existence
 in a mind devoid of ground
 reason hinders desired recompense
 solace nowhere to be found
 but in solemn stare

 trust left to forsake
 as shadows tauntingly dare
 all that hangs in this merciless wake
 is the promise one can weave
 hope upon one's sleeve

© 2008 S. A. Venus

Author's Note

S. A. Venus
my created Dasyure Form is a poem of 4 stanzas each with 5 lines of text in the following format:
Stanzas 1 & 3 have the syllable count (in progressive lines) of 5,7,9,7,5 with a rhyme scheme of a,b,a,b,c.
Stanzas 2 & 4 also have a syllable count (in progressive lines) of 5,7,9,7,5 with a rhyme scheme of d,c,d,e,e.

My Review

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The poem is amazing. I could take apart the lines and create a discussion. My favorites lines are.
"failed existence
in a mind devoid of ground
reason hinders desired recompense
solace nowhere to be found
but in solemn stare"
No weakness in this amazing poem.

Posted 9 Years Ago

Very good my friend. Interesting form you have created. You penned a wonderful
poem using this form. A very haunting read. Well done! Thank you for submitting
this to my contest. ~ Helena

Posted 12 Years Ago

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2 Reviews
Added on December 10, 2008


S. A. Venus
S. A. Venus

Maitland, Australia

I have a tendency to write mostly "free verse", I have written some lyrics and they will appear on the site gradually. I don't like being defined by style anyway, I just try to convey a message or at .. more..


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