Doubt

Doubt

By: Ethan West

I say here on this bed tonight

Frozen with a painted fear

That all the beauty of my fight

For life itself that's never near

For wherein my sight my eyes see not

This broken field of grass so still

Where in it's wind blows distant thought

Of my broken battered will

Thoughts of fury and of hate

Of love and beauty incarnate

Thoughts of family and of friends

Crying out to make amends

But in this field I draw a blank

Lonely tears to nourish fate

All these thoughts lay in my wake

My broken spirit lies in wait

For once this man was better found

The battered broken grass did plea

I held my head, and stood my ground

And the field of doubt buried me

Author's Note

Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

Reviews

[Timeless-Chan]

Do you have any of your work punished? like the poems on here a least? Cause you write all this and all i can think is 1- that im insanily jealous of you because you seem to write so easily and 2- that if it isn't published it should be. I mean what the heck! stop being so good at this lmao!

[ewest1220]

Actually yes I am published here's the link

http://www.amazon.com/A-Winter-Walk-ebook/dp/B008HHYP72/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1341977911&sr=1-1&keywords=ethan+west

But either way I'm really flattered that you feel this way about my work and I'm thrilled that you read it :) Thank you so much for reading!

[The dark story]

a very interesting and lovely poem...........

"Thoughts of fury and of hate
Of love and beauty incarnate
Thoughts of family and of friends
Crying out to make amends"

i sorely like these lines........the emotions that you have put in it is really very powerful and touching.i really like the way you express them with your strong words...though i would like to ask you something...

"The battered broken grass did plea'.i think there should be Glass instead of that grass.or may be i'm wrong but i didn't get this"broken grass"..please tell me........
and..
"I held my head, and stood my ground"...i think that there should be ''on my ground'.........

[ewest1220]

Thanks!

[The dark story]

hhhmmmmmmm....you didn't answer my question.please:)

[ewest1220]

Lol sorry about that it was a long night when I added the comment. Broken grass was diffidently intended. On my ground is interesting but I think I'd have to toy around with it to make it make sense in this work. I'm playing around with the idea now :)

[The dark story]

ohohoho.....gotcha

[TheJordBaker]

One of my favourites of yours I think. Very powerful and pertinent.

[ewest1220]

Wow thanks! I'm really glad you liked it!

[Kacee]

Okay... Maybe I should stop reading your poems because they are making me so jealous! It's amazing! What inspired this?

[ewest1220]

Honestly it's all me. Every feeling and thought that I have is so hard to get out when I speak. When I write I barely think it just comes pouring out. However I've read your work and I must say I thoroughly enjoy reading it!

[Rhea752]

i felt this poem. it was relate-able and very deep and emotional. great job once again!!! :D

[ewest1220]

Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!

[Rhea752]

haha sorry i didn't respond.. i was blogging.

[ewest1220]

No problem :)

[Admiral Kirk]

Wow, very deep and powerful. I love the end. It says a lot; great job!

[ewest1220]

Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

[Admiral Kirk]

No problem. :D

[eighwoeifj]

First stanza, first line: Say should be stay?
Second stanza, third line: it's should be its?
Another powerful poem from you. You really know how to take emotions and thoughts and make the reader feel them too.

[ewest1220]

Nope it's say :) I like to mess around with words. I think I attempted to give possession of the wind to the field but that it's/its has been a pain in my brain since writing this one :/ Again I'm thrilled that you like my work!

[eighwoeifj]

Yeah. It's/its gets me too ._.

[ewest1220]

Oh ya my brain stalled on this one. It all depends on how it's translated and that's the issue. For example you say its I say it's. Gotta love writing lol

[eighwoeifj]

More like gotta love the English Language. So confusing sometimes.

[ewest1220]

No kidding lol

[Tai Ryens]

I find myself empathizing with this noticeably more than I do with other poetry I've read. Fine job.

[ewest1220]

Thanks! Glad you liked it.

[Melody]

This is lovely. I loved that in the 3rd and 4th stanza your rhyming pattern changes from an abab to an aabb. I love it. Very good.
The self-doubt in this, not about the poem, but about the world that you're living in, is AMAZINGLY felt. Great write, really, it's fantastic.

[ewest1220]

Wow thanks! I'm really glad you liked it. I would love to hear what you think of my other works if you have time.