Past Tense

Past Tense

By: Ethan West

Listen now to my bleated plea

Abandon all with little to give

Tarry not and follow me

Follow me for I want to live

To live and to fall

With each step that I take

To be in life's hall

While the spirits awake

To never give in

To blackening rain

Of torturous sin

And tremendous pain

To make my mistakes

And see my heart rising

To see how earth quakes

At my bitter despising

For now I am lost

And lost now within

All of life's cost

Like a knife on my skin

I leap from the blade

For you followed me here

To this place in the shade

To a room I hold dear

And with subtle silence

I leave you this rhyme

To leave in past tense

And become lost to time

Author's Note

Any feedback is greatly appreciated. Thank you!

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Remind me of a Lenard Cohen song. The words open the door to thoughts. Places and regret lead us to many places. Some good and some bad.
"For now I am lost
And lost now within
All of life's cost
Like a knife on my skin"
I like the way you ended the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[ewest1220]

Wow thanks! I always highly value your input Coyote! Thanks again for reading I'm thrilled you enjoyed my work!

[Rox Bain ☮]

I love this! The short lines make it very effective.
My favourite verse is:
"To never give in
To blackening rain
Of torturous sin
And tremendous pain"

I don't know why but I found myself reading and re-reading this verse over and over...

Beautiful work ^_^

[ewest1220]

Th short lines were an interesting try for me so I'm thrilled you liked it! Thank yo again for reading!

[Rox Bain ☮]

You're welcome ^_^

[Irvette Dauphine]

powerful poem..
i like it and i like how you to arrange the rhyme
:)

[ewest1220]

Thanks! I'm glad you liked it and thank you for reading!

[Rhea752]

i love the last stanza it's written powerfully and honestly shocked me.


And with subtle silence
I leave you this rhyme
To leave in past tense
And become lost to time


great job!!! i loved this poem!! :)

[ewest1220]

Sweet! I'm really glad you enjoyed it it's always a pleasure when you read my work :) Thanks again for reading!

[Helena]

Beautiful poetry my friend! You rhyme wonderfully......I tend to write prose mostly and do admire the way you write. Again, an outstanding piece.

[ewest1220]

Thanks! I'm really glad you liked it!

[Pax]

i was intrigue by the title past tense. i thought its a poem about grammars, then again its a clever way to used it.

[ewest1220]

Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!

[Tai Ryens]

Placing a plea for help and cutting it into different stanzas; not quite the first time I've seen this tactic used but you've performed it well. Good job.

[ewest1220]

Another interesting perspective. Thanks for reading!

[Admiral Kirk]

Wow. Powerful poem, this is... Very well done. It seems the first stanza is a desperate call, a plea for help, and the rest of the stanzas work to build on this plea... I'm not exactly sure how to interpret this, actually, but it seems that the person behind this poem is giving up hope. Slowly, but surely. Great job, I enjoyed reading this immensely. Thanks for sharing this with me, reading poetry is a great thing to do at the middle of the night.

[ewest1220]

I agree. I'm loving this site! Also I really like your translation of this poem it adds a lot of depth to my own perspective. Thanks again for reading!

[Admiral Kirk]

I love this site too. It's my only way to let my emotions flow. I also love it when someone tells me more than I knew about my own poem. It's great, having people who like what I do, and enjoy poetry just as much as I do. You're welcome, I enjoyed your poem.

[ewest1220]

I agree with you 100% and thanks again for reading! It's always a pleasure.

[Admiral Kirk]

You are quite welcome. :)

[Melody]

I feel like this poem could never be lost in time, shall it continue to live, I think and I hope so. Great job. :)

[ewest1220]

Thanks! Once again I'm thrilled you like my work.

[Melody]

You're welcome. :)