Regret

Regret

By: Ethan West

The grass sways in time with my heart

Funny how these things do start

I was not here a moment ago

But now that I am, I am here for the show

My spirit elated I run through the grass

The grandest of things I hurriedly past

Till found myself at the end of my path

My heart had then sunk at my pitiful laugh

My journey was over and now it had ended

The beautiful grass and field no more

I ran through it all and never respected

The beauty of life I would leave evermore

Author's Note

Any feedback is greatly appreciated! Thank you!

Reviews

[Melody]

Oh this sounds like an interesting journey. :) I loved the last two stanzas the most because when I read the second to last I was confused I was thinking "where'd the rhyme go?" Lol, but then I finished it and once again you stunned me with rhyme pattern change. :) From aa to abab. A great couplet. Good job.

[ewest1220]

Thanks! I think the original intent of this one was to make it a sonnet. But then I changed my mind just as soon as I started lol

[Melody]

Lol you're welcome.

[Tai Ryens]

Between lines five to eight, you seem to have a bit of trouble with the tenses of the words. I shall leave you up to figuring out which words shift from past to present tense, but otherwise, you've done a good job.

[ewest1220]

Thanks! I did have trouble with that so it's great that you caught it. Thanks again for reading!

[Admiral Kirk]

Great poem! It tells of living through something, taking those nice grassy meadows for granted, and then when it all ends, coming to the sudden realization that you should have been taking your time; perhaps walking through the meadow rather than running. The sudden change in rhyme scheme adds to this effect. Great job!

[ewest1220]

Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it!

[Admiral Kirk]

No problem. :)

[Lizbeth]

I enjoyed reading this poem, definitely a bit different. I was wondering if past should be pass - but maybe I am wrong?
An interesting view of the passage of time.
Thanks for sharing
Llizbeth

[ewest1220]

Nobody is wrong. My stuff seems to mean different things to most people. Thank you for a great perspective and thanks for reading!

[Helena]

I did actually feel the shift in this, but it worked great. Good poem!

[ewest1220]

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it.