Falling Short of Dreams Unanswered

Falling Short of Dreams Unanswered

By:  Ethan West

I run along the tattered hall

My mind releasing thought on thought

But in the beauty of it all

Has my effort been for naught?

The bull was taken by the horns

And in so doing I have sped

Through bitter mountains bearing thorns

Along the path that few have tread

It beat me to the ground

And left me all alone

Just as I'd found

The fallen throne

Within steps of my dreams it's all for naught

I'm broken, beaten and subdued

The throne has left my every thought

The path has changed my mood

For now I will remain content

Within this barren state of then

Until my comfort asunder rent

And begin I will again...

Author's Note

I recently attempted to open a business and was beaten back by corporate. This is not my best work but describes well the feeling of that day when I was denied. Hope you enjoy!
Please do not duplicate or modify. Thanks!

Reviews

[Aarontastic]

I think it's a pretty good poem. Although your write was inspired by a personal experience, it doubles as an allegory for anyone who's ever had difficulty in striving for something so hard, only to see their efforts fall through in the end...I'm sure it's something that most people can relate to.

[ewest1220]

I agree. And I'm also thrilled you enjoyed this thank you so much for reading my work!

[eatmills]

A nicely written piece; androgynous enough that people can put themselves in your place and experience your pain through their own eyes.

[ewest1220]

Thanks! I'm really glad you enjoyed this piece thank you so much for reading!

[Enid Blake]

I do think you have captured that feeling you describe above very well within the poem. I think the rhythm and rhyme is good :)

[ewest1220]

Thanks! i'm glad you liked it!

[RachelReaper]

Keep on truckin', as they say! But this was a very maturely written poem, like it kept growing as I read it, nice job.

[ewest1220]

Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!

[Sam Gregory]

This does indeed describe ur feelings well, in a kind of surreal way. The rhyme scheme helped with the flow, I'd have used commas and full stops at the end of the lines to help with the rhythm too tho. Very good work, keep at it :)

[ewest1220]

Thanks! I'm really glad you enjoyed it! Thanks again for reading my friend!

[Sam Gregory]

No problem :)

[Annabelle Lee]

wonderful write, i love your use of language and your knack for rhyme.. thoroughly entertaining

[ewest1220]

Thanks! I'm really glad you liked it!

[lee von cleef]

Fall back, absorb and multiply.When I was little knew my best friend's Uncle "Junior Daugherty" a fiddle player, car wreck, had to change arms, still dam good fiddle.

[ewest1220]

Wow that's amazing. I'm a viola player myself so I can't imagine switching arms.

[MOON]

Poignant write heartfelt with great flow. Live to fight another day , maybe better things are waiting. No effort comes to naught.

[ewest1220]

Very true very true. Hey thanks again for reading I'm thrilled you enjoyed my work!

[Cascara (aka Sprint Goe..]

Until my comfort asunder rent
And begin I will again...

these are awesome lines! they show determination and passionate emotions

[ewest1220]

Those are my favorite lines as well. I'm really glad you enjoyed my work thank you so much for reading!

[Cascara (aka Sprint Goes Cascading!)]

you're welcome

[Elaenor Aisling]

You convey your emotions clearly and well. Good work on keeping the rhyme scheme without loosing meaning!

[ewest1220]

Thanks! I'm thrilled you enjoyed it thank you so much for reading!