Midnights

Midnights

A Poem by Zoya

As I lay under
the starlit sky,
tangled in a pair of arms
that had started holding me too tight,
I couldn't help but wonder
how disproportionate
midnights are

I thought about how
they're either too close to the day
and far away from the night
or how they're too close to the night
and far away from the day

but he never cared enough to know

he'd point
to the same old stars
that looked like
the faint headlights
of an approaching train
he'd tell me
how close they were
to the sun, the moon,
to us

always near but never nearer

he'd tell me
how their movement
determined ours
and he'd tell me
how all of this, somehow,
defined us

but trust me

in that moment
I knew exactly what defined us

the number of midnights we give
to the wrong people

© 2020 Zoya


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Featured Review

Maybe I said this on another one of your poems, but as soon as I finished this, I immediately checked your profile box & saw that you're "seventeen & learning" . . . once again, bowled over by this & falling on the floor becuz this is so intelligent, as well as being creative. Your metaphor is multi-layered & complex, yet easy to follow . . . "holding too tight" . . . "he never cared enuf" . . . "approaching train" . . . "all his cerebral BS defined us" (paraphrasing now) . . . and we can't forget the line "how disproportionate midnights are" (brilliant & unforgettable idea!) and this is backed up with the next verse, which hammers a home run in illuminating your vision of how this goes. Usually a writer has strong ideas OR strong writing mechanics, but you have both, my dear, & you can really take this places! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoya

2 Months Ago

Thank you so much, Margie!! You are so very kind with your words. It means a lot, it really does :)


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Reviews

Not all love is bitter to taste - sometimes it's sweet until it goes stale, and the serenity expires young. We can't expect for love to grow if it refuses to move from its place, and even if Love stands still, Time does not. It's up to the scales in our chests to weigh our hearts with our minds, and for our heavy bodies to accept the fact that what we desire is another journey away.

No use in settling for another stale midnight, when brighter stars await.

Great work!

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoya

1 Month Ago

Wonderful words, my friend! Thanks a lot for the read and review :)
Emotions have been depicted so clearly...Also the first half of this poem invites reader to attach and there is what he gets the lesson that is fair enough to learn at the last...

Very catchy , very brilliantly framed and Clap for what manner you have finished it... Glad to see a young talent moving forward this way in a world of writing.... Keep it up !!

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoya

1 Month Ago

Heyy long time! :)
I'm so glad you liked it, Abhishek. Truly appreciate your words.
Abhishek Asthana

1 Month Ago

true, its been so long...
Ooh I just re read this still loving it stay safe 😷👌

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoya

1 Month Ago

Haha aww Julie this is too sweet,
It means a lot :)
Zoya, if you're just learning, you'll be dangerous when you're done. This is a brilliant example of a love gone bad. One looks at the relationship one way...the other has a more pragmatic view and in the end understands time spent on lost causes.

Good write Zoya.

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoya

2 Months Ago

Ted, that is such a sweet thing to say. I truly appreciate it. Thank you so much :)
How I love the last line so true giving our time our midnights to the wrong people
Love your style beautiful

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoya

2 Months Ago

I'm so so glad you do, Julie. Thank you very much :)
If I may be blunt with you, something is off about this one. You still have your charm, your magic, that ending is brilliant, and you have some moments throughout that worked, but I'm not so sure. I wanna say it's the lead-up to such an ending, but it could also most probably be the passive way it was being told. Only at the end did it sound active, and though I could see you were trying to create an effect with your passive flow, I don't think it worked. But maybe that's just me. But those last five lines are fantastic. That's for sure.

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoya

2 Months Ago

Thank you for your honest review, emi. Always appreciated :))
emipoemi

2 Months Ago

my pleasure.
sometimes it`s a journey but we learn

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoya

2 Months Ago

We always learn :)
Thanks for the read!
 wordman

2 Months Ago

you`re welcome
Maybe I said this on another one of your poems, but as soon as I finished this, I immediately checked your profile box & saw that you're "seventeen & learning" . . . once again, bowled over by this & falling on the floor becuz this is so intelligent, as well as being creative. Your metaphor is multi-layered & complex, yet easy to follow . . . "holding too tight" . . . "he never cared enuf" . . . "approaching train" . . . "all his cerebral BS defined us" (paraphrasing now) . . . and we can't forget the line "how disproportionate midnights are" (brilliant & unforgettable idea!) and this is backed up with the next verse, which hammers a home run in illuminating your vision of how this goes. Usually a writer has strong ideas OR strong writing mechanics, but you have both, my dear, & you can really take this places! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoya

2 Months Ago

Thank you so much, Margie!! You are so very kind with your words. It means a lot, it really does :)

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8 Reviews
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Shelved in 3 Libraries
Added on March 8, 2020
Last Updated on March 8, 2020

Author

Zoya
Zoya

India



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