Chemistry Betrays (Revised)

My chemistry betrays me as insanity pleads before lean-jaded depravity

seen scorn as a decrepit unraveling

of baffling mean-spirited entities gathering deceitfully

for more pandering of reality in a gallery slinging misery entirely...

My sympathy behaves erratically

seethes forlorn as heated apathy forms rapidly

soft-churning rhapsody squirms passionately...

Inevitably heart-warming tragedy occurs.

Fiendishly hard-earned philosophy

turns of metaphor laced individuality...

Blurred and slurred rhymes.

Aggressive lines wormed into the tapestry of sadism

this organisms mechanism of limelight fading posturism

burning eyes turning bright from realism

shading light from mine minds rind empty escapism

slime heavy kinda heady with the infectious algorithm...

 Swirls bleeding lecherous breathing escaping the rhythm of morbid reality

 curiosity yearns for instability

With the itty-bitty fallacy of a gallant killing spree

 gallons of rippling prayers stripped of buoyancy

 floating dead in the sea flamboyantly... 

Author's Note

Same poem (mostly)... But now edited... Yay...!

Reviews

[Robert Trakofler]

the velocity of your perspicacity of the duplicity of words specificity makes the bunny's brain nuerocity spark enthusiastically! LOL.... my god I have met my match!!!! You love words and they love you I know cause they just told me my dictionary just salivated all over my desk and started to groan in an unsightly manner causing me to have to clean up some unmentionable goo... be sure to put the dictionary farther away from the word porn next time. :)

[DylanChase]

Words are fun, flow structure is what this was intended for, aha... I f*****g died laughing when I saw your review, though...
Called my wife over, I was like...
Look at this moddafucker
im dying laughing...
DYING...
Number one review....
Ever...
You wanna know something else...
I do not use dictionaries or thesaurus or any help when writing...

All natural, or it aint happening...

I spell and meaning check on words i already put down, though...

EVERYONE tells me...

"dont write so your reader has to pick up a dict. every 5 secs"
But...

How am I supposed to KNOW what they all know or not...
I let the reader decide his/her intelligence

Cheers at such a pleasant comment...

"Match"...
Do not get carried away, eh, mate...?
Lololol

[willbradley]

I had to re-read. Not because it was bad! I enjoyed the rhythm of it so much I kinda got lost! Genuinely good work. You can feel the devotion to writing this well. I'm not a pro or even a poetry critic, but I genuinely found myself enjoying this. Nothing negative to say here.

[Light and Ashes]

In my opinion, this is really genius. I absolutely loved it, but then again I am a little messed up in the head.................I'm giving you a 100 on this.

[Mary]

Your poetry has opened up my mind to a new genre, and I love it! I will not pretend I am able to dissect it word for word to uncover hidden meaning (perhaps that isn't the your intention), because I am relatively new to this writing style, BUT it is such a wonderful shower of interrelated words, creating images, all sorts of images; it creates an amazing visual and auditory experience! The rhythm and internal rhyming- genius!

[DylanChase]

Mary, thank you so much...!
These are the comments I live for!
To have inspired/opened hearts to a dif. path...
You are spot-on, mate
No intention, really...
Not an intention that matters to anyone but ME, anyways...
Hah
So glad you enjoyed it as was intended...!

[Paul Bell]

Got this image of a serial killer slowly building up for the kill.
Practice makes perfect sort of guy.
Could you imagine the judge reading that line out. So, you were on an itty bitty gallant killing spree.
You just know that's a hundred dollar fine. Mind you, what's that state where they wear pink overalls. That's a punishment in itself.

[DylanChase]

Oh damn, mate...
These poems are all so old, good...
But old...
Wanting to re-write a buncha them.
Now that line...
"o, you were on an itty bitty gallant killing spree.
You just know that's a hundred dollar fine"
F*****g love the image...
Haha
Thanks so much, and this was my first ever poem that I finally figured out how to engineer "flow-landscape"
Took 3 days to write cause I wanted "natural" vocabulary...
Turns out...
None of my readers thought it was very natural, lol
...Go figure

[Paul Bell]

Bloody readers. lol

[DylanChase]

Rofl... Ikr...

"What an emotional piece! have you thought of using less dictionary?"

I didn't actually use...

"BECAUSE IT WOULD BE SO MUCH MORE RELATABLE!!! AND BETTER AND MORE AWESOMER IF IT CATERED TO MY PERSONAL VOCABULARY, K THX!"

80 percent of critiques in a nutshell right there...

[Fame]

Wonderful piece with great vocabulary......

[DylanChase]

Thanks so much! Sorry it has taken a minute to reply! Been away for a while.

[Coyote Poetry]

I loved the use of the language.
With the itty-bitty fallacy of a gallant killing spree
gallons of rippling prayers stripped of buoyancy
floating dead in the sea flamboyantly..."
The above lines. Perfect use of words.

[DylanChase]

Thanks so much! Sorry it has taken a minute to reply! Been away for a while.

[Coyote Poetry]

Always a pleasure to read your work and you are welcome.

[drew garner]

It reads like Lewis Carrol riffing on Emily Dickinson at first and as cool a trick as that is. their is a confessional quality to the impression, that it projects onto the reader that is astounding.

[DylanChase]

Thanks so much! Sorry it has taken a minute to reply! Been away for a while.

[barleygirl]

Once again, I really like this one a lot becuz it seems like the meaning of the message is more prominent than your rhyming, which is always good, but better when it doesn't distract from your message. I very much like the intensity of imagery here, which is contrasted by a seeming nonplussed attitude about it all. Great job. I haven't had a chance to check out your new rhyming website (thanks for the invite) but I was slammed by a pain flare for a week (fibromyalgia) & now I'm just starting to come alive again! *whew!* I'll get there sooner or later! *smile* (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[DylanChase]

Appreciate the review, Barley, and do not worry... It is a very laid-back thing... No obligation or pressure... Just gonna pour my free-time into it and see how it goes... Hope you feel better...!