PMS, better known as Punish Men Severely...

Satire or Horror, you decide...

Of course I'm insane, I'm a woman!

Blame it on my reproductive track...

     & hormones out of whack

it's that time of the month

       like the perfect storm,

moods are fluctuating,

        could end up a bloody

     Potential Murder Suspect

steer clear if you want to keep

   your man parts intact,

they call it PMS because 

  Mad Cow Disease was already taken,

I'm fine, don't touch my breasts, I hate you

  I want chocolate, I need ice cream, 

      where's my AK-47, come here, 

                          go away...refrigerator

I'm not crying, I'm retaining water

   it's seeping out through my eyes...

Do I look bloated, what did you say???

    yes, girls are so much fun

      in the meantime unless you're not into

       estrogen induced mania

        prone to fits of psychopathic outbursts 

       of rage induced depression, keep a safe distance...

   meanwhile brace yourself it only lasts 

       till we're old and gray,

         then we finally get a break

           chillin' to the heat of the beat

                     of MEN o' PAUSE

 

This is why women know GOD is a man!

Author's Note

captcha-propene ha

Reviews

[redflutterby]

How about satirical horror...or horrifying satire... let me set down my AK-47 and my chocolate bar to say BRAVA you cunning poetess. I'm sure you have single handedly made every woman on wc cackle with glee and scared the crap out of every male. Hahahahaha.... did I mention last night that I loved this? Or was that one of my other personalities named raging Sybil. ;-P

100 semi lucid moments courtesy of hormonal chaos!!!

[Frieda P]

LOL love the review, Sybil at your service here too, we must be twins, and synced together as well in our 100% bat shyte craziness. ;)

[redflutterby]

Amen to that sister....the world better shudder if we both ever completely snap at the same time!!!! HA!!!

[Frieda P]

Ha sounds like the apocalypse to me !!

[MomzillaNC]

ROTFL! LMAO! The only thing worse than a woman with PMS is when they all get together and synch up!

[Frieda P]

Now that's a party! ha ha

[MomzillaNC]

You're a sick little kitten, y'know that, right?

[Frieda P]

I've been called worse! LOL

[Woody]

you are hilarious when you want to be, Frieda!
I think I understand girls better, now. from now on, I'm locking my wife in the basement when she's PMSing. (past mad syndrome?)

[Frieda P]

Thanks Woody, I have my moments! Good one. ;) Feel free to do whatever you like, since she's going to bite your freaking off anyway...ha

[Lyn Anderson]

This is so funny, although, not if you are living it ... and living with a house full of girls who all cycle at the same time -- oh yeah, that's a bit of weirdness cooked up by God or mother nature too...:)

[Frieda P]

Yes I know that one, four of us at the same time....ha hell to pay! Same with my girlfriends, we sync in insanity :)

[Damien Thibodeaux]

I didn't know whether to laugh, or run away and hide. But, enjoyed this clever piece very much. You have a real talent for putting words to the PMS experience. Even when it is a bit psychotic, heh, heh. Something us guys can't understand until you explain it like this.

[Frieda P]

This wasn't the mature rated rant, I can explain it much more vividly haha

[NeiL ArandA]

This is very funny. I didn't get the last punch line. I know God is a man because He was and has been addressed in the personal pronoun of He ... Lovely write to me Ms Frieda.

[Frieda P]

Of all the poems you picked this one to read Neil haha....it's my warped sense of humor, if God were a woman, you guys would be dealing the lunacy of PMS, pregnancy, etc....

[Vidya Bacchus]

Hahaha my lord that sounds exactly right.The poor people in my house suffer a fate worst than death every month.I know I'm being a raging lunatic but it can't be helped and then I'm crying because no body understands lol.Loved this one to bits chica.

[Frieda P]

I hear ya, my boys use to do that crossed fingers of the cross to fend off vampires at that time! haha

[Vidya Bacchus]

Hahaha like that would save them :)

[Frieda P]

Yeah they found out soon enough haha :)

[Vidya Bacchus]

I assume that water they toss at me when I pass is holy water lol.Poor suckers :)

[Matching Socks]

Don't remind me, it's not my time yet!
I think if I were PMSing under a full moon I'd turn I to a beast for sure.
A hyper-sensitive, bi-polar beast.

[Frieda P]

Seriously, every month, just for that damn apple. haha

[NoelHC]

What an interesting twist on a regular situation, made me laugh. Well done as always, unless, of course, if you think it was bad, in which case you are right, it was. no wait, I didn't mean it was bad that way. Oh crtap, whatever, I am going to clean the garage.

[Frieda P]

Ha don't try that shyte at that time of the month Noel!

[Patrick]

You amaze me so much with your unique and interesting poems. keep it up

[Frieda P]

Thanks so much, jazz'd you enjoyed my crazed scribbles...