PMS, better known as Punish Men Severely...

Satire or Horror, you decide...

Of course I'm insane, I'm a woman!

Blame it on my reproductive track...

     & hormones out of whack

it's that time of the month

       like the perfect storm,

moods are fluctuating,

        could end up a bloody

     Potential Murder Suspect

steer clear if you want to keep

   your man parts intact,

they call it PMS because 

  Mad Cow Disease was already taken,

I'm fine, don't touch my breasts, I hate you

  I want chocolate, I need ice cream, 

      where's my AK-47, come here, 

                          go away...refrigerator

I'm not crying, I'm retaining water

   it's seeping out through my eyes...

Do I look bloated, what did you say???

    yes, girls are so much fun

      in the meantime unless you're not into

       estrogen induced mania

        prone to fits of psychopathic outbursts 

       of rage induced depression, keep a safe distance...

   meanwhile brace yourself it only lasts 

       till we're old and gray,

         then we finally get a break

           chillin' to the heat of the beat

                     of MEN o' PAUSE

 

This is why women know GOD is a man!

Author's Note

captcha-propene ha

Reviews

[redflutterby]

How about satirical horror...or horrifying satire... let me set down my AK-47 and my chocolate bar to say BRAVA you cunning poetess. I'm sure you have single handedly made every woman on wc cackle with glee and scared the crap out of every male. Hahahahaha.... did I mention last night that I loved this? Or was that one of my other personalities named raging Sybil. ;-P

100 semi lucid moments courtesy of hormonal chaos!!!

[Frieda P]

LOL love the review, Sybil at your service here too, we must be twins, and synced together as well in our 100% bat shyte craziness. ;)

[redflutterby]

Amen to that sister....the world better shudder if we both ever completely snap at the same time!!!! HA!!!

[Frieda P]

Ha sounds like the apocalypse to me !!

[Einstein Noodle]

ahaha .. gave me such a laugh ..
"propene" indeed ;)
i hope you feel better honey pie!
love your poem
E.

[Frieda P]

What are you laughing about E, it's a true story! ;)

[Einstein Noodle]

because your so cute when your mad :)

[Benita-Staebell M - Kin..]

This seriously made me crack up
this on many levels is very true I am calm
and some times I am not when it is PMS time.


I say the lady in the Red dress is at my door
no I don't want any GO AWAY LOL!!



Thank you for sharing and the Laugh LOL!


Blessings. Benita

[Frieda P]

Thanks Benita, it's funny but it's really not, I know you get it...ha ha

[Benita-Staebell M - KindredPoet]

Yes I Understand :) thank you for sharing.

[Brittany Defranco]

Oh my God, I'm laughing so hard right now, I love it!!!
I definitely loved how you changed the moods in the poem like how a woman on PMS would talk to someone, this is genius!!!
Please keep on writing.

[Frieda P]

Jazz'd you enjoyed, thanks Brittany!

[Rita L. Sev]

Hahahahahahaha! I am cracking up here, Frieda! You have a Perfectly Maniacal Side! ;)

[Frieda P]

You just realized that Rita? haha

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Of coarse you need to place the blame somewhere, why not on the bodies natural chemistry at work.
I tread carefully when Aunt Flow visits the ladies in my life.

[Frieda P]

OH SHUT UP DALE....

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Oh so she is visiting right now I see :)

[Frieda P]

You really wanna go there pal? ha ha

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

I like to live dangerously.

[Frieda P]

Beware...Some have madness thrust upon them!

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

I have madness instilled within me.

[Frieda P]

I know, and you don't have a good reason.....

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Sure I do, it is called dealing with the opposite sex, haha

[Frieda P]

You mean losing your hand....

[Scott Metro]

I think this may be why..in American Samoa...menstrual women are confined to a hut with others of like nature until they return to a behavior more suitable to a civilized society.
And men...here's a tip from uncle Scott..never leave a cast iron skillet laying about during the transformation....lol

[Frieda P]

Lol I think they were on to something there, nice to see you Scott, what no wolf suit?....

[Brittany Zedalis]

╰☆╮Oh god, this had me laughing until I was in tears. This is fantastic. xD╰☆╮

[Frieda P]

Mission accomplished, thanks Brittany.

[Coyote Poetry]

Frieda. This is amazing. Your powerful description made me understand this subject. Thank you dear friend for the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[Frieda P]

Wow, a man that's not afraid, thanks so much Coyote!

[Ruth]

Bloody brilliant, lol Frieda, this is truly awesome, am still grinning lol ♥

[Frieda P]

Ha ha did you really say 'bloody'? lol...thanks Poppy! :) xo

[Ruth]

Fingers twitched before thoughts on that word...but I'm a woman, its allowed LOL xo

[Frieda P]

Ha ha was bloody perfect! lol xo

[Mayank]

hahahaa... so damn humorous and I definitely stay under cover once a week in a month.

[Frieda P]

Good idea....!