Dying lights

A dedication

Father arranged these Christmas lights

All of different hue

These tiny little bright lights

"Dad these are pretty, these'll do!"

Dad stepped out of the house

As I have stayed inside

To stare at all these bright lights

Around me did collide

Different colors clash,

Green, red and blue

Truly there were many more

I'd be glad to tell you

But to my dismay, did I see,

Or yet, did I realize

One sad truth behind these lights

From what I've come to criticize

I cannot truly see these lights

For all I saw were blurs,

As if my eyes, were in tears

And a tragedy occurred

As I realize things had gone bad

Father went in the house,

He whispers to me, "Don't worry little boy

These lights are but about."

"You may look at them as much as you like

but still you will be blind

For all you will see, are blurs and dimming

And all less lit kind."

"My son, I want you to grow more each year

so you will take care of these,

the tiny little lights you love so much,

and arrange them all with ease."

"For your father, had gone tired

Of hanging them all each year

Now is your turn to hang them,

You have but nothing to fear."

"I'll be going out for a while,

Just to complete my knack,

You just stare at those lights,

and before you know it, I'll be back."

Father went out to do his task

As I stare upon these lights,

As I await him in luminescence,

With these pretty sights

Time passes by

with these lights slowly darkening

So did my hope as I stare

At these lights slowly ending

Had I realized and concluded

Father was never coming back,

As all I could do was tear my eyes

As these lights grew but black

Oh the pretty lights

Had I come to stare

A pretty lie, a mournful promise

A son had been aware...

Author's Note

Thank you for reading.

Reviews

[Junction]

Emotionally we want to carry on what our beloved ones wanted us to. I would go (as often as I could)
to the St. Patty's Day Parade on 5th Avenue in New York. Why? My grandfather would watch it on the t.v.
every St. Pat's Day. When I am at the parade, I remember everyone, my mother, brother, grandfather.
Even members of my family that have passed on before my time.

Your poem reminded me of that. Excellent poem!!!

[Lox]

I am sorry for I know nothing of this Saint Patrick Day you speak of, but I get the idea and I am astonished that you are able to imply another scenario with this poem. I am VERY thankful.

[Junction]

The poem surfaced feelings in me that I had for my deceased relatives. Wow a poem can do that!!
read moreThe poem surfaced feelings in me that I had for my deceased relatives. Wow a poem can do that!!
Beautiful poem!

[Lox]

Hahaha what's with the read more thing in your comment. But alas you cannot fool these eyes. (Yes I did press them.)

[Aehr]

I love the incorporation of the heartwarming story in this poem. The title is very well chosen and fits perfectly. I love the metaphor of the lights - father passing his responsibilities along with his strength to the son, so that he can take his place soon. I also like that this particular father did not sugarcoat the reality of life, but at the same time, he opened his eyes and showed him the beauty as well. He is definitely an interesting character.

You painted a great image for us with your words. I can see the young boy standing to look at the beautiful little lights as it hits him that his father was never coming home again. The dimming of the lights was a great metaphor, once again.

'Oh the pretty lights
Had I come to stare
A pretty lie, a mournful promise
A son had been aware...'

A very good ending. I like how the last line indicates that this young boy sees himself as nothing apart from a son of a father now lost. Gives a very good feel to the poem.

Well done. Keep writing. x

[Lox]

I was trying to make the readers feel the essence of my poem and sympathy for all lost sons, I had the intention to at least put them to tears or give them goosebumps but instead you had to review and give ME the goosebumps oh my god thank you for your review. Do you always make other writers cry when you review their work? I am swept to tears by your kind and acknowledging words thank you! I mean thank you!!! Stop making me cry! Haha...

[Aehr]

Aw haha :') You're so sweet. No problem, love. This is a good poem, you should be happy about it.

[Lox]

Wow, I've seen your profile and you've got a lot of badges! Like wow. I am glad to be praised by someone of high caliber. I look forward to impress you again. Thank you!!!

[Aehr]

Haha I'm out of practice :P Thank you, though. I'd love to know your thoughts on my work sometime. And I look forward to reading more of your work as well, of course. x

[Alfred Kukitz]

Beautiful story.....loved every inch of it.

Happy Holidays Lox!

Regards,
Al

[Lox]

Happy Holidays to you as well! Haha, its 10:11pm here before Christmas... Do I know you? I mean in real life? I feel you know me. Anyways thank you for reviewing!

[Alfred Kukitz]

No not in real life. Just a friendly old fool trying to keep spirits Merry!

[Lox]

Please do not refer to yourself as a "fool" my friend. I do not let "fools" review my work you see, so you are no fool! You are also an outstanding writer.

[Alfred Kukitz]

Thanks! Kind of you to think so.

[Cool Girl]

This is easily one of my favorites! It's stunning and sorrowful, yet beautiful! I loved it!

[Lox]

Wow! I didn't know THE coolgirl would review my work. I am honored to be reviewed by one of the most outstanding writers. And you shelved this to top it off! Many thanks! you should change your name to coolestgirl.

[Cool Girl]

Aww you're welcome and thank you so much! You're the best :)

[Lox]

NO your the best. haha

[Cool Girl]

Aww thanks luv

[mjsalyers]

I think if you go to my profile here it will show you my work which I have already found is easier than searching by title. Thanks because I lost all confidence in myself for a decade in all things and am slowly getting back to being me and commentary shows someone thought enough of the work I have posted to say something about it to help me start writing songs again as all that I am posting it at least from 3 years ago.

[mjsalyers]

I think if you go to my profile here it will show you my work which I have already found is easier than searching by title. Thanks because I lost all confidence in myself for a decade in all things and am slowly getting back to being me and commentary shows someone thought enough of the work I have posted to say something about it to help me start writing songs again as all that I am posting it at least from 3 years ago.

[mjsalyers]

Will do. I am only on one other poetry site but they blocked my account because I got hacked and the x-girlfriend who did so started posting my writing while claiming both that she were my mother and that I had passed on. Even those that knew me personally believed the worst of me when I found out and tried to set thing right. Will post your work on Facebook.com though. How can I read my reviews? Am I doing something wrong or has no 1 submitted feedback to my writing?

[Lox]

It's either in the setting from before you posted your work or none has given you a feedback. What's the name of your piece? I'll be glad to review it. :)

[Krizito]

I like the styling and the rhythm, it made it quite a joyful read; even if the end wasn't so joyful. Good job!!

[Lox]

I'm glad you think so! I am happy to see a fellow writer review my work. This poem is dedicated for all the lost sons/daughters who are not aware of the loss of a Father. Hope you share it somewhere. I'm actually surprised people are reading such a long piece.

[Carolynn]

It's sad to know this kind of thing happens to those innocent and un-aware.

[Lox]

All we could do is sympathize as fellow writers. Thank you for the review!

[mjsalyers]

Wonderful job. Reminds me of my father and I before he decided his children were not worth being around for. I always loved those christmas lights but now realize from my studies that we are not celebrating Christ, we are actually celebrating the birth of Thoth/ Horus . I love your styling of words kid so jeep up the great work

[Lox]

Thank you. I am glad you appreciate my work. Whatever religion parents are parents. Thank you for your review.

[Lox]

On a side-note, I want this to reach other sons/and daughters who claimed the same fate. But advertising for 5 bucks, won't do. So umm can you share this anywhere? I'd appreciate it. I'd also return you the favor.