Prologue

A Chapter by hardscoper6

Running through the night in shear terror, the four friends make it home alive... but they are missing one person.

Run. The only clear word that rang through Daniel’s head. His friends feel behind, but he couldn’t be thinking about them, he knew what he saw, and he had to get away from it. He didn’t know if the man still pursued them but Daniel wasn’t prepared to turn around and find out. He ran and ran, street after street. Signs whizzed by in the moon light. Daniel faintly made out, Charles Street, St. James Street, Fredrick Street, until finally he came to Maple Street. He turned down it racing faster than ever before. “Run, run, run.” His brain was crying out. He did as he was told running faster, flying up his house steps. His hands shook as he tries to put the key into the doorknob. Finally, it fit. He swung the door open, almost diving into the welcoming darkness. He waited as his friend came in, then swung the door shut, locking it. He stepped over to window, peering out, watching. Nothing moved in the silent, dark street. Daniel turned, flicking on the lights.

“Alright, head count!” Daniel used all his strength to usher the words from his shaky lips.

His chiselled featured show in the now illuminated room. He wore a red striped shirt, and a pair of blue jeans. A mess of brown, floppy hair shows from under a blue toque. The color of the toque matched that of his eyes.

“Cass?” Daniel nods to a long, red haired girl. Brilliant, green eyes cut through her long red bangs. She wore a flowery, white sundress. She nods in response, quickly looking down at her shoes.

“David?” Daniel looks up at a taller boy, dark skin. He also had green eyes, but no where close to as bright as Cass’. He wore a blue hoodie, and jeans to match.

“Katelyn?” A blonde haired girl looked up at him from where she sat on the ground. She had almost violet eyes, and fair skin. She wore a blue shirt, and black skinny jeans.

“Isaac? Isaac?” Daniel looked around for his best friend he’d had since kindergarten, but he was no where to be found.

“Isaac!” Daniel yelled frantically, racing around the room now.

Everyone else was up now, too. Everyone was looking for him until they came to the conclusion, he wasn’t there, and if he wasn’t there he could only be in one other place. Still outside with that murderer.

© 2012 hardscoper6

Author's Note

Let me know what you think. Point out any errors you see, as well.

My Review

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Featured Review

H-Jonesy

Interesting introduction. You plant us in the middle of what is going which grips the reader and makes them want to read more.

There are some spelling and grammar mistakes, simple ones that can easily be fixed. How ever you do jump from tense to tense here and there. I suggest just pacing your self when you write, go back and double check that your tenses are all the same through out.

Your style is a quick one. How ever I suggest you try and show us the scene. Don't just tell me verbatim how he is running home. Show me, show me if its cold, if he can see his breath, show me the yellow sighs whiz by him, let me hear his heavy breathing and foot fall.

Imagery is what this is referred to, it helps the reader better understand whats going on in your piece through their senses. Use those trigger words that makes us imagine the scene you are playing out before us.

A tip for description of characters, it can get mundane explaining what a character may look like in each paragraph. Weave your descriptions in with the entire piece instead of setting aside certain paragraphs.

I do enjoy this, and the idea behind it one I've never attempted to tackle my self. I would love to see the end result and to read more as you update.

-Jonesy/Harmony