MEMORIES

Photo from Google images

~~<3~~

My love, do you still remember me?

The vow  we made under this mango tree

I was younger then while you were old enough

But in my heart I knew you're my better half

~~

Your face that time, it's painted here inside

After the wedding, we had that romantic ride

We took that road riding on a pretty white horse

You were holding me throughout the journey, of course

~~

But suddenly a storm came while we're on our way

You've loosen your grip, we didn't make our day

A strong wind got me while you were thrown afar

We've been apart, heart-broken like victims of war

~~

My love, do you still remember me?

Two years and more, we're here under this mango tree

Now, I'm tracing the carved hearts with our names entwined

Wishing that like them, you and I have that strongest bind

~~

My love, do you still remember me?

Until now, your memories never set me free...

~~<3~~

Author's Note

Musing on sadness...

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

I liked the poem dear Poet.
"My love, do you still remember me?
Two years and more, we're here under this mango tree"
The mango tree, love and the tropics. Place of magic. Thank you for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Thank you, Coyote.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome dear friend.

[Perkele.7885]

I like the sentimentality of your work and though I found a couple of questionable notes, the totality of your poem is most impressive!

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Thank you for the comment, dear poet but... I would like to know that "couple of questionable notes" because it is very important for me to improve my piece of writing. And if you will grant my request, could you put it on a separate review? Thank you so much!

[Perkele.7885]

I am ever a slight bit lost in ambiguity in stanzas three and four!
In #3...A strong wind got me while (you were thrown afar
We've been apart,) heart-broken like victims of war
In #4...Two years and more, (we're here under this mango tree)
Now, I'm tracing the carved hearts with our names entwined
(Wishing that like them, you and I have that strongest bind)

Dear poet; just where is your lover in body? Is he still somewhere lost at sea? Or, is he now with you beneath the mango tree. Or, is his heart still beating with yours as you carve the hearts beneath and into the mango tree? I cannot tell from your choice of words, the exactness of what you want your readers to come away at the end of your piece! Together again or alone with heart-felt memories?

My love, do you still remember me?

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

#3...the couple was separated by differences
#4...memories of a promise under the mango tree (two years and more we were here...)
at present...one is only tracing the carved hearts (while remembering those memories)
the carved hearts are still there (so they are strong) and the person wishes that they could be like them

If it is still unclear, could you give suggestions? Thank you so much.

[Mary Helda]

Sadly penned and yet so deep and great...you expressed your emotions vividly...great job

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Thanks, Mary.

[abderrahmane dakir]

So beautiful, so clear, so deep, you are always excellent to express your feeling of love. Thank you so much.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Thanks for the kind words.

[Tom]

Love can indeed take its toll, especially if torn asunder 💔

Wonderfully bittersweet and so poignant Dhaye !

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Thank you, Tom.

[gabrielle]

When we lost someone, it is so easy for others to say just move one. But i cannot really imagine how can we be able to move on to something as pure and as beautiful as love. Lovely piece, dhaye. I like how you pen this tragedy.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Thanks for the kind words, Gab.

[NeiL ArandA]

First stanza Dhaye is well constructed. The third line maybe said that you were both young and in love unless the muse would prefer a huge age gap and disparity. I find the usage of mango tree akin to the cultural taste of the author.

Second stanza is also another good lines. Perhaps its part of their honeymoon plan. I see many foreign couples still do this when they spend their honeymoon in the Carribean . They ride horses on the shoreline and shallow beach.

Third stanza is a twist of fate and a freak accident to explain that the relationship came to an abrupt end . The two last lines was quick and short. Did the guy badly hurt or did he died. The last two lines were stated that they were casualties of anintruding accident .The rhyme and flow is still good . The train of hought may have faded a little but can be tweak .

Last stanza is a reflection of past events and memories. Perhaps the horse riding accident was an analogy of a love that didnt survived the rough season of life and the symbolic way of not holding and gripping the horse reign tightly . You can get thrown by the wind if you are riding and going fast on a curb .

First glance of the piece was reminiscent of the movie played by Julia Roberts "Runaway Bride " then as you go deep its about letting go of beautiful memories build by two people .

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

I like your take on here, Neil. You almost hit it right but...I am glad to know readers have their own interpretation of my piece.

Upon reading...don't you see someone going back to place, that mango tree where there"s the carved hearts with names. And while tracing the hearts and names, memories come back?
It's NOT letting go, but reminiscing of those sweet memories.

Thank you for the effort in that verse by verse comment.One more to read and I'll go to your page. lol

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Anyway, that was a product of musing from MOMENTARY SADNESS. Sadness breaks my writer's block.

[NeiL ArandA]

The carved inages was mentioned in my piece CLOSURE. Different methods of expression.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Meron? Syanga? That is common here in our country. The truth is I have watched the movie of Jericho Rosales and Kristine Hermosa where the place is GUIMARAS (the place of sweetest mango in the Philippines).

[Willard Wells]

Beautiful words of love and devotion to a lost love. Your word choice and flow are excellent. I felt your longing and emptiness within this piece.

Well done young lady. Thank you for sharing.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Thank you for the kind words, sir.

[Willard Wells]

When I first read this piece I had to laugh just a bit with your use of mango tree. Because of my muse and the trip I am taking in your direction I did a series of poems about Island Girl. In at least one if not two I used a statement about the mango trees. Your piece gave me double pleasure.

[E G TEN]

Something about love and mango tree, that brings out the
Island spirit in all of us. Oh how I missed Pinas :/
Old or first love never dies, it becomes a part of us.
Very cool poem, galin, galing.! :-)

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Ah, wala ka sa 'Pinas?
Thank you so much, kabayan.

[E G TEN]

Nevada' saan ka?

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Here in Region IV-B, Philippines.

[E G TEN]

Born in Region VI. :-)

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Ah, okay. I am just here lately to copy some poems I directly wrote here. I am editing my unpublished books. Nice meeting you, kabayan. Enjoy WC!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

really like this sad poem...either that wind was death or just for some reason a parting of ways that couldn't be helped...sometimes destiny plays cruel tricks...but we always have the memories to hold onto...

a very moving write.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Thank you, sir.

[Eddie Davis]

Wonderful, but sad, the metaphors were very visual, as usual quite well done. You can really feel the pain here.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Thank you for spending your time in my piece, Eddie.