There Are No Miracles In My Mirror

Was the ceiling always so low?

The walls keep pressing,

And its getting depressing

That the closing door

Is all I have left.

What ever happened to the rest?

 

All your well-meant words

Sound like a cure

To this hell....

It'll kill me sooner.

Shortening the threads

Of this sword above my head,

Don't cut these ropes

Like a scarf around my neck.

 

I think I noticed

You pray for me.

I guess I could return the favor,

Because these blades are a poor Savior

And I'm sick of falling apart

In my own empty arms.

 

Maybe I'm seeing the light

.....is it just another train????

Well, its reflected in my eyes.

Painting over my stupid past,

The ashes in my blackened hands

Are from this fire within.

 

I swear my ceiling's flying farther,

And this road is getting harder,

I think I'm treading thicker water.

Its this dream I won't escape,

Its the scars, Darlin' its the ache,

And no matter what.....

 

I still see the stains.

 

 

 

Author's Note

It would be awesome if I could get some feedback.
I used to think this way a lot more than I do now. Anyway, any comments are welcome, but if you have something you didn't like, please explain so I can improve. :)

Reviews

[Nothing Personal]

Well I say it's Awesome. Deep , introspective, amazing lines and a perfect play around with the lines. First of, A great title. and second , a Killer last line. It kind of vents the frustrations and the misgivings, talk of a miserable and an unlucky past..But what doesn't? Great Write....I enjoyed it..

[Michael Davis]

Another very nice one

[Liz]

Great write(:
You feel like you're drowning, things are becoming tougher and tougher to handle. And you know that know matter what, the past will always haunt you. The past never disappears, and i am someone who wishes it would...

[littlelilypurplebride]

i agree with iamkim god bless lily

[iamkim]

this is amazing! you write very well :)

[Moflo]

This was a very creative poem. I agree that your word choice was amazing but it also had a great flow and very nicely conveyed rhymes. Great job.

[Calypso]

The word choice is wonderful.

[I've Killed Lions]

I was hung on every word. Line by line i could feel the pain. Great write Heidi

[Dark Empress]

I like it, it tells a story. A broken soul. Very good write :)

[RonnieBreight]

I like this because it tells a story of someone so broken.
I think I noticed You pray for me. I guess I could return the favor, Because these blades are a poor Savior And I'm sick of falling apart In my own empty arms.
This is super interesting to me, because it's talking about someone who is so broken, but then there is someone else who is caring about them and praying for them, but this broken person is just past the point of caring. Their only saviour is cutting, which just goes to show how broken they are.
This is such a great peice. I also love all of the ceiling talk. You paint a picture without having to bluntly describe and make it boring. Great job. :).