Passau

A few thoughts from a trip I took.

     There are those girls with the handsome thighs, chittering and whispering, the sideways glance an indication that they know you are looking at them. The skin that the sun cannot blemish, soft like butter and cream.  They prance in an ebbing sun chained together with adolescent cinching, straining and breaking under the weight of the oncoming woman’s world hips. The call of  a life yet to come in a land of little resistance or want. But for now they swirl, dancing to a tune so wholesome it need be whistled sharply else the winds carry it prematurely to the land of accountability.

     The call of the river is a whisper most days and silent in the winter like death. But the screams of springtime get in a girls head and push boundaries.  She may get stuck in the eddy that takes her like a rocket to the bottom, trying to sift the mica from the silt and waking in the morning to the truth that it was not gold after all. When she resurfaces, lungs straining for one gulp of familiar air to set right, she is spit out on the tracks located at the intersection of lust and broken bones. Nostalgia floats in on the summer water and the yearning for deep rooted familiarity dances on the green surface of that Danube dream.

     There will not likely be another moment in which the girl has the time of day or the key to her identity until the butter and cream skin is patched with the scars and discolorations that show the depth of her experience. It is only then that wisdom and beauty build a bridge over that mighty current allowing one to cross with fingers in ears and a mind full of not what is right for the world, but first and foremost, what is right for her mind and soul. Some will say it can be the best part of a woman’s life, when the key is turned in that lock, but every girl cannot help to remember that sharply whistled tune and like riding a bicycle, the sideways glance from a woman is artistry that never fades.  

Author's Note

Happy Cinco de Mayo!!!!

Reviews

[emmajoy]

Your writing still leaps in ginormous bounds and in the finest weave of words descriptive! So many mind pictures jump out.. which to select or just stress this is very fine writing. Has both insight and observation with an artist's eye and that of a man who's already seen some beautiful unframed master?pieces.

' .. for now they swirl, dancing to a tune so wholesome it need be whistled sharply else the winds carry it prematurely to the land of accountability.'

'.. takes her like a rocket to the bottom, trying to sift the mica from the silt and waking in the morning to the truth that it was not gold after all'

The third stanza.. sizzles more than heart feel but also, mind plausibility!

igne

[Crowley]

I miss your reviews!!! Thank you, just recently went on a river boat cruise on the Danube and was astounded by the difference in the women in each of the countries I visited. Thank you so much, I may have to hang around here a bit more, kind of miss it.

[Beccy]

With the transition to womanhood comes the confusion of no long desiring to be a little girl, yet at the same time, fearing the consequence and responsibility of the weight of the oncoming woman’s world hips, and how perfectly you have defined this with your fine words.

I especially love that last verse; where again you show your depth of understanding, by your assurance there are moments yet to come. Moments that consist of much more than 'handsome thighs and skin soft like butter and cream;' and that the artistry of a sideways glance never, ever fades.

Just a wonderful, wonderful poem.

You say these are a few thoughts from a trip you took. I would love to know what it was that actually inspired you to write this.

Beccy.

[Crowley]

Wow girl, what a great review!!! I was on a Viking River boat cruise and it started in Passau. It was so beautiful. The trip went through Germany, Austria and Hungary. It was amazing observing the women in the different countries. They were so beautiful and so different from country to country. The women in Passau were mostly fair, blonde and curvy. So different from the other countries. I sat on the deck in the morning and was thinking about it while watching the sun rise over the Danube. Thanks for liking this, it is my absolute favorites along with our bravest face, both about my respect for girls and women. I wish they ran the work, but not as men with vaginas like many who have had to fight their way through a male dominated political system. Just my honest opinion. Thanks again Beccy....

[kentuck14]

C, What a wonderful prose-poem! A virtual mosaic of sight and sound . . . and deep contemplation. You capture the world of the young woman growing slowly into the mothers and wives of tomorrow. The reference to their hips is so apropos, for the hips carry her into the future.
Diving into the river looking for Gold only to find mica . . . . learning that life can be full of deceptive people . . . . learning the hard way . . . . moving on to maturity with all its scars and tell-tale darkness under the eyes. But such a woman will never forget when she turned heads. Great poem Crowley!
T

[Coyote Poetry]

Like a Hemingway tale in these words. The use of description made me see and believe every words. I agreed with and I enjoyed your words and thoughts. Thank you my friend for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[Crowley]

Thanks Coyote, I love this piece and I am glad you enjoyed as well!!! Hope all is well in your world!!

[Coyote Poetry]

I am fine and I hope you are doing well. One of Hemingway's books. He wrote of his wife strong legs. He described some Asia women bodies like a engineer. You are welcome my friend.

[lightsong]

You appreciate women, respect them deeply. when the girl blooms into a woman, the first look she got, her first glance to allure, she will remember, it's her femininity being both treasured and controlling. through Your words, I saw the little girls, the young full of life ones, the hard working women and also somewhere between them the prostitutes, all are independent beings. Your pen is a steady one, it feels as if there is no single leak in Your writing! great my friend.

[θεά]

I endorse Kelly's views that your hand is like a seasoned writer's. Not one sentence is clumsy or unwittingly placed. You have laid out your musings with alacrity and an understanding of the sullying of innocence with the coming in of experience.

Sharp piece of work,
M.

[Crowley]

Thanks you so much, I really appreciate the review, and dang, thank you saying that....makes me all fuzzy inside!

[Kelly Scheppers]

"The skin that the sun cannot blemish
soft like butter and cream."

You write like a seasoned author, and that's some kind of wonderful!

[Crowley]

Thanks Kelly, I really appreciate that remark!!

[Kelly Scheppers]

You are very welcomed. Anytime!

[Corset]

"They" say that there is a thin line between lust and love, love and hate, it's very hard to differentiate between the two, if it fails to transcend to dedication and devotion past the first five years, then it was lust. O.o but that's after FIVE years! what about finding out BEFORE lol, that is a long time to live in confusion isn't it and by then you have to figure out :"what about the children??" kinda like that whole thing with men finding prime at 18, and women at 30..this system is flawed dang it!!

[Crowley]

It does seem that they system was built with a few flaws....lol. Thanks so much for the wonderful review, I appreciate it!!!!

[Corset]

you are welcome, but I don't really give reviews, I am not an authority on poetry, but but I do like to comment as it strikes me, I hope that is ok!

[Crowley]

That’s what I do too. I just write stuff and if if I like it I post it. I love that people write and would never pretend to be an expert. We have only our experiences to draw on. Some of us have more than others.

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

See I told you that you are a magician! This piece is wonderfully insightful. Are you sure your not a woman trapped? Maybe just one of those lucky guys that knows the essence of a truly beautiful woman when he has had one. Your writing blows me away. You Rock!

[barleygirl]

Only a truly deep lover of women could’ve written this. Right now John Mayer is doing a live concert on TV in the background as I’m reading & reviewing . . . as I read & review this piece, the song “Daughters” is playing -- right now! How serendipitous is that? I can’t even comment anymore. It’s all just too perfect. I wish I could summon such a creative, caring, champion point of view about anything! This is precious . . . thanks for leading me to it (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Neville]

What a perfectly presented analysis, it would seem we have made lifelong studies of the very same subject matter, I just wish I could have written mine up half as well as you have done..... a splendid write indeed and as I keep banging on.. time is not a friend of any one...... Neville

[Crowley]

lol..Thanks man, sorry just saw this!!

[Neville]

Sorry, for what...

[Crowley]

That I didn't reply to your review sooner. Don't want you to be an angry husband and reviewer.

[Neville]

No worries, it would never happen my friend... Neville