Step In Time To The Revolution

She smelled of sour milk
and cabbage, both refusing to
march out the open door,

stiff yellowed wallpaper
peeled away from horse hair
plaster in daisy-head neglect.

Regimes have cut new faces
into portraits, but life remains
a stale-crusted breadbasket.

Peasants are what they have
always been, stepping stones
to their own revolutionary
dead end.

Reviews

[Creepy Swine Guy]

This is very interesting. A view of the unchanging life of the oppressed ... or those neglected by "the state". I find it interesting and instructive that you did not define "the state". This could be anywhere on earth. I wonder how many who live in the US will immediately assume that it is somewhere other than here. I know people who live that life that's "the same as it ever was", I know it can be anywhere. The only tweak that I might suggest is in S1L1 ... isn't the wallpaper STILL yellowed? What if it read "crisp, yellowed wallpaper"

[icelandicblue]

Thanks so much and you are right it could be anywhere. I see what you mean about the wallpaper and I will fix it! The oppressed are a group whose stories always seem to end up the same. Thank you once again for your thoughts and feedback. You always give wonderfully helpful reviews.

[R. L. Ives]

This could be anywhere on this rock, but it feels like a foreboding for our corner of it. The American revolution and the Great Depression coming to pass simultaneously, becoming our history. And what do they hope to accomplish this time?

This is very vivid wording here:

Regimes have cut new faces
into portraits, but life remains
a stale-crusted breadbasket.

Peasants are what they have
always been, stepping stones
to their own revolutionary
dead end.

[icelandicblue]

Thanks RL and I agree is could be anywhere. I think it pertains to here as well, where the rich get richer and the poor poorer and Congress does little to nothing but collect paychecks even after they're done with their "public service."

[R. L. Ives]

It absolutely sickens me to hear them talk about cuts to social security, military benefits, Medicare but not one of them is human enough to step up and take a cut themselves. Instead what do they do...give themselves pay raises. Why are we in this hand basket, and where are we going?

[KAOlmsted]

BAM...except for the word "be" in the first stanza...blech..."be" is such a passive word. I'll tell you what somebody once told me and I remembered it..."be" is a lazy word that came out because there were no sexy verbs to take its place...I use "be" sparingly, if ever...okay then? Other than that...money ;-)

[icelandicblue]

Thanks kimmer- I didn't know about the word be, I'll have to think how I can rewrite that line. Thanks for that heads up...now I'm afraid to reread the rest of my work! LOL. Thanks for reading

[icelandicblue]

You are right. As I was making a cup of coffee I thought about what I could do to fix it and poof there it was. And yes, I believe the poem is better for it! Thank you so much.

[KAOlmsted]

See? xoxo blue! Always my pleasure ;-)

[Brandon S. Whitten]

Excellent read and write.

[icelandicblue]

Thank you for commenting.

[fred]

i really like this . its a story unending. the more thing change the more they stay the same.....and daisy-head neglect what a great line

[icelandicblue]

Thank you so much fred. I happen to like that line a well.