The Tell Tale Poet

Beware the friendships you accept for they are not all equal nor are they all friendships.

You friended me twice
I should have gone with my gut
you
     had
          never
                  read
                        one
                             word
                                    of
                                      mine

But the second time you requested I relented and did not say no, the benefit of the doubt and all that, let's check this fellow out...

He fancies himself Poe reincarnate, the poem wasn't bad...fast friends
don't last when the bulk mail of read requests get dumped at your door and I had the nerve
to private message "Nevermore." Please reciprocate before the body of your work is left bleeding on my steps (that was the implication, I was much nicer when I said it).

He told me it was nothing personal...he had 400 friends he was writing a book he was busy...he'd get to my work sometime. I wrote back I wasn't whining, we're all busy but to please not fill my inbox with read requests until he felt that I was more than just a repository for his work. I would be happy to unfriend him, no hard feelings, should he find that request too difficult. He didn't like that. He doesn't want to be my "friend." anymore.

All this took place within 48 hours. I wasn't cooperative. I couldn't be one of the 400 who didn't question his friendship. He didn't have time to read a word of mine but he did read my messages. I suppose that's something. He blocked me in the stealth of night and I suppose some "friends" are too much work. He did leave me one more read request, like a cat leaves the gift of a dead mouse on your doorstep. But this poem was more like bloody breadcrumbs placed more for me to see what his genius had done. I had been banned, he knew I would foolishly click on his poem, and the sooner I knew my non-status the better, for I was no longer worth his time.So annoying was I for questioning him unfriending was not enough. I questioned the man behind the curtain about fairness and he reacted in a ball of blustery indignation.

To do it again...I just should have said NO once again to the second friend request. Let this be a lesson to all...don't let some high faluten' poet use you to boost his ego up onto the popular board or use you to read his poems like piece work you never get paid for on any level. We all deserve a bit of reciprocity, respect, feedback and support...isn't that what a friend is?

Choose carefully, everyone who extends a hand of friendship, everyone here is not here to be your friend. We share an interest in poetry, sometimes only in our own. Respect yourself and your time and never be afraid to speak up. There are some poets who are big babies and others who are big bullies. I'm just looking to read, learn, enjoy, perhaps make a friend or two and improve this pastime of mine some of you kindly call poetry.

Reviews

[redflutterby]

BRAVO!! I wonder if the person you refer to is the same one who has sent me multiple friend requests even though I deleted him. Seven or eight months ago I accepted his friend request...then received numerous read requests. In the next two months he did not reveiew my work once. When he published some long.. rambling..error filled write about why he was giving up writing which then ended up putting him in the top writers I deleted him. Since then I have received four friend requests and two messages extolling his wonderful writes. Once again...not one single review of my work. Ive noticed a handful of writers on here like this...its not the norm. Though I have had a few writers message me asking me to read a new poem of theres when the standard protocol on here is to review and then you receive a review in return. In three of these cases I did in fact review the write and received no review in return. Sigh...

To be honest if you have 400 friends theres little chance you can keep up with the reviews and comments you receive. Not unless you are seriously committed or have no other life. With a few exceptions...those with huge friends lists are most often one sided relationships. You may get an occasional pat on the head if lucky but otherwise you are just someone to stroke their ego. I prefer to stick with those who are more personal then that and actually enjoy reading other peoples work.

Amazing rant...well said.... applause here!!

[icelandicblue]

I am sure it is the same person. He doesn't even respond to comments on his work. He's too lofty. Four hundred friends is ridiculous but can also be misleading since people come and go, close their accounts but still remain on the friend list. I was not looking for 1 to 1 reciprocation. I currently have almost twice as many reviews as comments received. What irks me to no end is to find 8 Read Requests from the same person, some of them old, just to boost his or her standing. Mama didn't raise any fool. There are poets on this site much more prolific than myself. I do not keep a running tab at all. And it probably is the same person, he doesn't even know who he is friending, he sees people on line and friends them all to add to his little collection. I questioned him privately- he couldn't take the "pressure." The implication was his life was too busy to bother himself with me and a bother I am because he blocked me. I say good riddance because now he won't come rapping or tapping at my poet's door for we are nevermore. Thanks for the support as always and "getting" what I am trying to say. Needless to say our interaction is done:

Out—out are the lights—out all!
And, over each quivering form,
The curtain, a funeral pall,
Comes down with the rush of a storm,
While the angels, all pallid and wan,
Uprising, unveiling, affirm
That the play is the tragedy, “Man,”
And its hero, the Conqueror Worm.

E. A. Poe "The Conqueror Worm."

[kublakhan27]

Yeah, there has been a lot of this going on as of late...it's been an issue on this site for as long as I've been here (just over two years) and it seems to be coming more prevalent. I haven't been active in the last few weeks as I've traditionally been...there are several reasons for that, and most are health-related, but I've grown tired of the back-scratching system that so many people seem intent on turning this site into. Now we've been friends for a while so you may have noticed that I read and review in bunches, mainly due to time constraints...but I don't carry around several hundred friends with the time constraints I have, so I'm sure to keep my group of friends designated to those I truly enjoy reading and getting to know (such as you) as opposed to people that can simply pitch in the odd review to pad my ego...now I USED to be that kind of person, but I owe it to my friends on the site (again, you are one) to changing that philosophy, which really isn't reflective of the spirit of the site. Anyways, sorry I'm getting rambly, I didn't think I was gonna say this much haha But I know just where you're coming from, and remember, you may not hear from me every day, but you know you will regularly, because I enjoy reading and talking about your work, not because I'm fishing for attention for mine ;)

[icelandicblue]

You put so much effort into your reviews Steve. You are a giver in life not a taker. I just put it out there for people to think about and so that they wouldn't feel guilty when they decline a friend request of someone they don't know and never heard of. It's hard to build a group of friends when you are new, it takes time and effort but that is what is expected. This particular person has been around a while and had he not blocked me I would have dropped him as a friend. There is too much good poetry written by my friends like you to waste on someone who views the rest of us as the "little people" put here to serve. It is always a pleasure to speak with you.

[Aethereal]

I hope that he doesn’t have the same “nevermore” ending as Poe had. As for me, I’m just a chipmunk incarnate who writes for the joy of writing, and reads for the joy of reading. I’m always on the lookout for a well formed poetic acorn to add to my stash.

[icelandicblue]

You are much too busy gathering acorns Aethereal. You are a giver of reviews and of poems.

[Aethereal]

You're welcome, Oh, great oak tree!

[Philip Mwarabu]

And yet we should thank them who so annoyed you, for inspiring such a poetic expression of frustration - giggle, no it wasn't me!!

[icelandicblue]

LOL I know it wasn't you. ; ) Thanks for commenting.

[Relic]

I turned off my read request years ago when a certain poet here flooded me with his poems. I don't know who the writer your referring to is but you're certainly right for thinking the way you do. occasionally, i still get friend requests from people I never here from again once I've accepted. I know their just trying to get me to read loads of poems they've written.

I once threatened to make a list of people who sent me friend requests but never read anything of mine. I've also written about the problem in the past. This should be sent to all new poets who enter the site for the first time. Good for you for writing it.

[icelandicblue]

It is an annoyance these little vampire poets who only want to suck on your poetic blood. I am going to be much more discerning in the future. Thank you for commenting and sharing your own experience.

[Legion]

Very well said'. I have been on this site for many years and reviewed much in the beginning but it was taking its toll and for much the same of what you have written out. I still review from time to time and the same goes for writing but not like I did once upon a while ago. Excellent message.

[icelandicblue]

Thank you Legion. This is what I do in my leisure time...it's not my job. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts.

[Kasey Miriam]

That sitituation is truely the most annoying not just here but in general. Well done and bravo with how you wrote this!

[icelandicblue]

Thanks so much Kasey, sometimes what you see is all you get. ; )

[Rita L. Sev]

Blue my friend, you have put into clear and powerful words something I have just started to wonder about. The last several weeks are my "busy season", so I have been slow getting to RRs and not posting as much as I would like. My RRs are often crowded with several pieces from one poet who, as you point out, never reads anything of mine and never replies to reviews. So busy, I didn't give it much thought until this past weekend. If it is the same poet, I have to say that I am not particularly fond of the fact that so many of his pieces contain vulgarity - seems like a default. I will soon be doing a major overhaul of my friends list!

[icelandicblue]

I know what you mean. We are here to enjoy ourselves, not to be work horses for someone's selfishness. I guess if enough of us just reject the notion working for another poet perhaps the poet will see the light or look for greener pastures. ; )

[BlackRose]

I so sympathize with you on this. I get friend requests too but ignore ones that don't read and put up a review or two first. It depends on the person that put up a review or more, I might accept right away or wait a bit to accept to see how they are. I had one or two like this, I don't review theirs again till they review mine. As you have seen said on my profile, parts of it mentions I won't friend unless you read and put a review up first. But some still think I will slip, and for me that won't happen ever. It's the old saying, you have to give to get, just as they would want the same on their end.

I had some others come and review just to see who this person is that others are suddenly at once making a review on knowing I have been on a long while and also I know is seeing my reviews on who we both are friends with. I pay no mind to those but I just leave one review on one of their pieces and see where it goes after. And most those ones haven't reviewed back. To them, no skin off my nose, and move on. One one even wanted a friend request that I haven't responded to and probably won't and will sit on the list with the others.

If one has that many, it's as if it's a popularity contest, lol. And who needs that many??? If so go to Facebook for that. Even then certain people might be sceptical in wanting to be friends. I don't have to many myself, and like it that way. I'm careful who I accept or whose I want to read. I do leave the requests there so I know who not to go to, since they are the ones that have not made any review/s yet. Like you, I will not sit on someone's friends list to make them look good. It's easier for me to keep track when searching for new reads from others who aren't on my list.

Love and enjoyed this outspoken piece. And nothing wrong with that when you need to be. I can be this way too, ha. :o)

@{/:o)

[icelandicblue]

Thank you so much. I suppose there are life lessons to be learned even on the internet. I, like you, have now formulated a much stricter standard that I plan to stand by. Thank you for your words of encouragement and I do believe I will be visiting more of your work soon. I guess I just expect more from people and I forget sometimes there are those among us who are totally selfish. I am more of a giver than a taker but I'm not a fool. Thanks again for reading and commenting. ; )

[BlackRose]

It's fine to expect more, since we are like this. As long as we have reasonable expectations, and we don't go overboard with it. In the beginning I wasn't too much like I have been. Or didn't think to much about it. I just concentrated on my new writes more so, to get some out for people to have things to read. But real soon caught on and was strict in my policy once I get to know how things are around here. And yes, wrongfully they're are those selfish ones out there. :o/ All of us learn one way or another.

Awe, you're welcome, anytime. Glad I was of encouragement. :o) Your so very welcome and will be reading more of your works too. :o)

[emmajoy]

How beautifully executed and how wonderfully accurate! Mind you, can't believe there's only one of those mentioned: why - in X years i must have come across at least twenty cloned creatures of the masculine gender who think they're superbeings cos they can recite the ABC and their mother's have mangles that work!!

Recently closed here cos i know how many requests come from blinkered beings who wear their demands like armour.. life has its moments however. Coming back today for a while, reading your wonderfully literate rant and reactions to it, it's more than obvious there are heavy boots trampling our gentle quiet.. (yes, it does exist, now and again!)

Best we do what we should and must.. your rant and reaction to it is rather like a public petition. More signatures please!

[icelandicblue]

Thank you so much Emma. I appreciate your support and commiserate with you as well. Of all the takers I have only come across one female and I quietly dropped her as a friend. This time I thought why not ask for more equal footing. Instead I was scolded and blocked. We are but a microcosom of the world, but I feel here I have more control over the company I keep and I don't need to feel guilty about rejecting someone as a friend who is unknown to me. Thank you for your lovely comment and your signature on this little petition of mine. I want to live in peace but I still have to guard the gates I suppose. Have a wonderful day.

[Vidya Bacchus]

I guess you have penned my feelings here to a T.I get friend request then I accept next thing I know read requests know no end although my "friends" tend not to reciprocate.There are some people who would take advantage of anyone given the chance.I get it Blue it has pissed me off more times than I can count.Thankfully the nice people outnumber the idiots :)

[icelandicblue]

I too believe that generosity will outweigh selfishness in the end. I also think we need to be selective when accepting friend requests. I used to believe (a long time ago) that everyone came to me with good intentions. Time has taught me that is not so. It is annoying but I did what I thought was right...called the guy out privately and got blocked for it. I don't feel like doing housekeeping every time I get to my read requests and I am most certainly not going to comment on 7 or 8 pieces of work at a time by someone else who has no intention of reading one word of mine. Life is too short to suffer the vagaries of such personalities. He won't care he'll move on and people will comment and then when they catch on he'll move on to a new group...fodder for his machine. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

[Vidya Bacchus]

You are welcome Blue.