constellations

constellations

A Poem by Shapirta
"

a poem on the constellations

"
Let's watch the constellations
each with their own correlations
with great consternation
with the concentration,
of an entire nation

© 2014 Shapirta


Author's Note

Shapirta
what do you think?

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Reviews

I think it's simply effulgent! Impeccable! Beautiful try Amy.. :)

Posted 6 Years Ago


I like this and its rhyme,, but I feel it would be better if it were little longer,
a good write here

Posted 6 Years Ago


Nicely done. I think most would find the constellations to be fascinating.

Posted 6 Years Ago


A very fun write. As a nation we do watch space. Imagination dwells there.

Posted 6 Years Ago


I really like this, Shapirta - I do believe you can do much more with this and make it a little longer, your vision in this poem has potential. But it is wonderful! Thank you for sharing!
-Jess

Posted 6 Years Ago


I love the rhyme of this piece! I think you did a really nice job with it... :))

Posted 6 Years Ago


Fantastic word play and rhyme in here. This would be a great way to warm up your speech before a show too since it requires diction so that you don't get tongue tied.

Posted 6 Years Ago


Shapirta

6 Years Ago

wait, try to say THAT ten times fast
Ashira Macy

6 Years Ago

Haha that one isn't too tricky.
Shapirta

6 Years Ago

well, twists my tongue!
I like how you took a simple sounding idea and transformed it into a more complex one. You are really good at rhyming. I feel like there is more to the story (or poem) than just these five lines. Maybe you can expand them a little bit more? If you chose to do that then I think you should keep these lines but have them italicized and still be the first stanza in the poem. It could be the introduction to a more in-depth look at the constellations. Good job! :)

Posted 6 Years Ago


Nice tongue twister. When you looked up on clear nights in Afghanistan it was like you never knew there were that many stars in the sky

Posted 6 Years Ago



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346 Views
9 Reviews
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Added on September 23, 2014
Last Updated on September 23, 2014
Tags: stars, poem

Author

Shapirta
Shapirta

dude hi!, NY



About
i recently turned eleven, and for as long as i can remember, have always loved writing. haha wow. now im 12. time flies.. more..

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A Poem by Shapirta



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