exercise 1.

  I always had been painfully shy you have to understand...

    The waiting room was sterile in the way some silverware arranged by an ocd middle aged house wife with a passion for cookery and taxidermy might have been...

  I was unable to look anyone in the eye and hunched myself forward in thought looking constipated but thoughtful although it also gave me the appearance of someone without a neck.                                                                                                                                                  My hands were clamped tightly round a bookies pen which someone held had used as a chew toy.I knew the inevitability of my situation yet I'd sat here among the living for half a bloody hour doing nothing...                                                                                                             I'd retrived the forms from a nurse called Betty according to the name stitched in italics on her uniform.The woman had looked up from her work and watched the feeble natured young man approach.She looked me up and down like a lot of people used to do.

"eh...'ere ye ar mister....uqart?",

Its bloody urquhart.....

Betty strained her crow-feeted eyes trying to understand how a name like that had ended up among all the smiths and Jones residing happily and comfortably on the crisp paper.

"'al call ye once the docters ready tae see yae..."  

 

I  slowly took myself back to my plastic seat and now I decided I should just pull the scab of the wound and get the irritable feeling spreading through me  out of my system as soon as possible...

 

Pick five words that describe yourself. 
Loving, lovable, lovely, lovelorn, loveless.

What ambitions do you still have to fulfil? 

I’d like to have a sex life, if possible....        

 

I finished with dis-taste and just sat with the pastel forms in my hands waiting for the caledonian screech of a woman desperete to get home to the flatulent arse she called her husband."the doctor will see ye now..."                                                    

I walked with a quickened spring and jump to the doctors room.It was like sitting in a giant glacier mint except there was thousand apon thousands of other smells not so pleasant.                                                                        

"Your test results arrived this morning....Its best that you see them for yourself..."                                            

 I took them from his ink stained fingers and opened the results.                                                                    

"I see...."                                                                                                                                          

"We'll arrange treatment and recomindations in due course mister urquhart..."                                                    

    Mr.Keats had known me all my life.I'd visited with a broken ankle as a little boy wearing my brothers hand me downs,I'd visited as a teenage boy unsure of these weird contours called my body and now I visited finding out some news I'd expected yet hoped was going to get forgotten to focus on a news report about old people taking up line dancing.                                                                                  Manni would be picking me up in his old Ford probably worse for wear and drunk with careful precision so I walked into the car park whilst taking out a ciggerette and struggling with

cold fingers to lit the darn thing.

A familar vehicle drew to a halt as I reached the end of my f*g.It started burning the tips of my fingers but I felt almost

like a dentist had injected my whole body,not just gums with anesthetic.I felt numb.

Mannie put a hand on my shoulder although he seemed not so pleased to be showing he felt affection.

"what did they say?"

We both found our way in a haze to the front of the car and as his radio came into life I felt myself heave and let everything out with one huge push.

"What difference does it make?"

Reviews

[FoolsGold23]

interesting!! I was drawn into it by the time I read the "OCD kitchen wife" description, This is a great beginning though has me wondering. chapter two on we go!!!~P

[Dani California]

You have a knack for this. Very easy to follow (although the font is a tad too small. I can barely see as it is... LOL)
Seriously, the dialogue is well done.. the imagery.. all of it. I like the way you've started this story for it captures
the reader. As you know, that is a must. If you don't grab them here, chances are it won't happen. You've accomplished
that.. bravo!

This is a very good beginning :)

[Jasmine Parker.]

i knew EXACTLY what i was gonna say about this but then i got distracted and went to have pasta. so... here's what i'm saying from my soul.
phwoar. nice one! i love it.
genius storyline so far. look forward to reading the rest :)
x

[pleaseplease]

All the little details drew me in and made me feel right there along with the characters.
Many times when there are a lot of metaphors, it feels overwhelming to me, but in this case I felt they gave the story a kind of dreamy quality that I enjoyed. There are lots of quotable lines.
I want to read more.

[Rain]

Captivating enough to make me want more, and that's the trick. Great lines:
The waiting room was sterile in the way some silverware arranged by an ocd middle aged house wife with a passion for cookery and taxidermy might have been...
"Giant glacier mint"... I'll be watching for more. Rain..

[Sam Summers]

interesting. i do want to see where it is going. fantastic opening line, and i feel you should always be able to tell the tone and direction of a novel from its opening line. "Constipated but Thoughtful" would be a great album title. also, 'tis interesting that you're a man.

[Last Lying Look]

This seems pretty neat. I can't wait to read the rest of it :)
I found it almost humorous that the characters goal is to have some type of sex life:P

[Michael Handel]

I'm liking it so far Mr. Urquhart. Keep it coming.