drown in deeper dreams

2006

                            steady daylight burns your sleepy eyes

                            makes it hard to see you dreaming

                             always you hide inside yourself

                           sometimes I wonder what your thinking

                            and about everything your chasing

                             it seems to leave you so empty

                             and it won't take long to burn

                           through the nothing you've learned

                            and the things you choose to be

                           all eyes on me, your eyes look away

                               it's so hard to be someone

                                strung out from today

                          all that you know will slip away

                          as you drown in deeper dreams

                              inventing new religions 

                            they smile and stab my back

                               I lie and have to laugh

                            you'll hide in your room 

                               and the light will burn away

                          as you move away from the truth

                               it's all so far from you 

Reviews

[Dahlia Phoenix]

"all that you know will slip away
as you drown in deeper dreams
inventing new religions"

These three lines are memorable by comparison. I love the flow you have at the ending of each sentence bringing dark emotions that capture the reader's interest. Unbelievably superb!

[Amila Jay]

OMG...lovely indeed!!!!!!! really gripping!!! "it's so hard to be someone strung out from today" super line. great poem..keep it up:)

[Shep]

So dark seems the emotions grip you. Such grace. Nicely done.

[Dark Beauty]

great write,good emotion structure awesome!!

[((Teenage_Poet_Loser))]

omw... this is awesme =D... kind of confusing but that is what gives character to it for me... It builds up and the fast pase reading is awesme! love it =]

[Audrey Howitt]

all that you know will slip away
as you drown in deeper dreams
inventing new religions

Your poetic voice is so good---Lovely, lovely write!

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

as you move away from the truth it's all so far from you........excellent

[ImagineItAll]

You emit dark emotion so well, even back in 2006!

[Thea]

Your emotions are well used here...Great piece of writing... *thumbs up*
:)))