she looked up

wrote this in my lunch break at work Friday

She was looking up to the sky

He was looking down

she squinted into the sun

His tears fell in the ocean

Her smile as wide as the horizon

His love as deep as the sea

Forevermore as one

THe ocean

The sun

The squint

THe tears

All joined as one

Till they meet again

In that sunrise

Like no other

On that horizon

On that day

They will meet again

and have their sunsets

again

once more together

all as one

Reviews

[Laurierose]

I like the use of simile here. Very strong comparisons to nature, yet simply sweet enough for a love song. I love how her smile was his horizon and how his stare was the ocean. One could get lost gazing into the harmonious horizon, as he did with her smile. One could also argue the depth of the ocean and the richness of the deep blue, as she did with his stare. I imagine this as lover's separated by ultimate fate, though forever current in each other's hearts (I'm very much a romantic.). It is this that makes them one. Beautiful. Great read.

[wordman]

until we meet again,,how sweet

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

I read this as sad my friend...two lovers’ last look at each other until they meet in heaven. Touching, tender, beautiful form, flow, repetition and lines emphasizing each of the elements making up that moment. Moving and excellent write Julie.

[Julie McCarthy (juliespenhere)]

Thanks so much but the lady is looking up to him in heave n

[Julie McCarthy (juliespenhere)]

But u can interpret any way u like

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

I like your interpretation much better Julie.:))

[sette]

such a very romantic poem and sometimes the waiting no matter how long is still worth it

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

Thank you I write it as one who has died and they will eventually join one day he looks down she looks up

[John the Baptist]

This one is about either true love or mystical experience. Maybe both. Liked the spare wording and the cascade of imagery. Well done.