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I was never the kind of girl who had a bunch of friends. I had few good friends throughout my elementary school years, but as we reached middle school and all of a sudden being popular became an obsession for most people, we drifted apart as they decided to buy makeup and I decided to buy books. I wasn't interested in being popular and that made my “friends” think that I was a loser.

As middle school went on and passed, we all got older and more mature. By the end of 9^th grade I had made a good group of friends and I was taught the wonders of eyeliner, hair dryers and name brand cloths. I was still the girl who listened to odd music and would rather read then go out and party. But I was accepted. My friends loved me for me and other people slowly started to enjoy my company also. I was never popular in the sense of perfect hair, perfect friends, and perfect everything. But I was popular in the sense that I was friends with people from all groups. The nerds, the popular, the smart, the stoners, the scene kids and the normies.

Even as time went on and I became friends with more people, I had never gained the nerve to talk to Jessie. I had hung out with his small group of friends before but me and him had never had one on one time. So at the beginning of 10^th grade, I figured I would give it a shot and talked to him.

It was lunch time and he was sitting alone by outside by a tree while his friends went to get their food from the cafeteria. I walked up to him with total confidence, I knew exactly what I wanted to say and how I was going to say it. Until I was about 5 feet away from him. I froze. Mid stride. My head literally went blank. I'm pretty sure I wasn't breathing. After about 5 seconds I finally started to regain a little bit of my brain. I put my foot on the ground and gave him an awkward smile. That I'm sure looked a lot worse then it felt. “hi.” He said it with such calmness. Such a simple word and it made me go into self lock down again. I tried to speak and nothing came out. It's like my talking box thing was broken. After another awkward 5 seconds I finally got out a word. “hey.” It came out a little squeaky and I'm pretty sure he heard it. Because he smiled. It was the smile where only have of his lips go up but he still manages to show his teeth. I had no idea how he did it and still looked adorable. The ball was in my court now and I had to say the next thing. I had to think of something cool and perfect to say. It was all coming together in my head so I decided to give it ago. I took in a breath and opened my mouth. What came out was not cool. After I said it I had no idea where it came from. “i was thinking about you when I was in the shower this morning and...” I realized how wrong it sounded and he noticed it too. He chuckled. I had to move quick. I regained some confidence and finished my sentence. “ Not like in a sick way, Just that we've never really talked and I think you seem cool. So I figured I would just come over and say hi... Hi.” I took a deep breath. That wasn't so bad. He took a bite of his bright green apple and chewed. “would you like to sit?” He patted the ground by him. I slowly walked over and sat down next to him and pulled my knees up to my chest. That's where it all began.

Author's Note

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