The Stairs

The deafening sound of silence

reaches like delicious tendrils

through the dark, cold night.

Creeping across my skin,

stinging my nerves like angry bees;

as I wait by the edge of the stairs.

 

Slicing the silence like the sharpest knife,

a sound, a hum, a melancholy tune

drifting through the air.

So clearly dead, and yet so sweet,

this song, it lifts my soul!

 

Rising to my perch atop the stairs,

it kisses me softly on the cheek;

So cold, so sad,

as if the words had been written for me.

 

Night after night,

hour after hour,

that same haunting tune

is stuck in my head!

 

At the top of the stairs I wait all day long;

an addict, in desperate need

of my next disgustingly beautiful fix.

But deafening silence is the only sound

that reaches out to me, on this cold, dark night.

 

Instead, the smell of flowers

graces the darkness and her malicious plight.

I see it now, the truth

I tried so hard to disregard;

the song I loved is forever broken.

 

Resting for eternity under millions of stars

melancholy shards make a hard pillow,

against the bottom of the stairs.

Such a brilliant resting place

for damaged innocence.

 

Fragrant flowers continue to press

throughout the night,

Marking a death, a funeral

And the birth of new life.

Author's Note

Thanks for reading. Reviews always welcome.

Photograph by Kristin Lee

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this death, funeral and rebirth all seem to be pointing at the muse...and how it uses us and spits us out...we feel the death of words we can't come up with, the poems that die before they are born, but then the rebirth because when we get to the top of the stairs..the addict needing the fix...and in the darkness we find her again.

and we feel alive...


anyway, that is where this piece took me...i love it.

one spot, did you mean "rising" at the beginning of stanza three?

now on to look at more of your work.

[Kristin Lee]

I sure did mean "rising." Thank you so much for the good eyes!

And yes, the death, funeral and rebirth could be pointing to the muse. I wrote this piece when I was much younger, so it was definitely an abstract reference. Most likely a reference to the continuation of life for the living after we say goodbye to the dead -those who lie sleeping/weeping at the bottom of the stairs.

[rhythm&blues]

I was all over the place with this read, so many emotions, so often this is what happens in life, relationships, poetry.

[Muse]

Great poem! One little suggestion on the following:

The deafening sound of silence reaches like delicious tendrils through the dark cold night
Creeping across my skin to sting my nerves like angry bees
As I wait by the edge of the stairs.


switch two lines around maybe?
more line breaks?

The deafening sound of silence;
reaching out with a delicious tendril,
through the dark cold night.
Waiting by the edge of the stairs,
it creeps across my skin,
stinging my nerves like an angry bee.

I dunno, was just trying to see if I could help recreate a somewhat smoother transition.

My favorite part:

Resting for eternity under millions of stars
Melancholy shards make a hard pillow, against the bottom of the stairs
Such a brilliant resting place for damaged innocence.


Beautiful work...truly!

[Kristin Lee]

Thank you. And thank you for the suggestion I will take the line breaks under advisement as I continue to work on this one :)

[Muse]

either way...it's still a great poem..thank you btw for the friend request, I look forward to reading more of you.

[Muse]

Great poem! One little suggestion on the following:

The deafening sound of silence reaches like delicious tendrils through the dark cold night
Creeping across my skin to sting my nerves like angry bees
As I wait by the edge of the stairs.


switch two lines around maybe?
more line breaks?

The deafening sound of silence reaches like delicious tendrils through the dark cold night
As I wait by the edge of the stairs, it creeps across my skin, stinging nerves like an angry bee.

I dunno, was just trying to see if I could help recreate a somewhat smoother transition.

My favorite part:

Resting for eternity under millions of stars

Melancholy shards make a hard pillow, against the bottom of the stairs

Such a brilliant resting place for damaged innocence.


Beautiful work...truly!

[Kenzi Griffin]

Very beautiful poem!! I love it! Had major descibing in it!

[Kristin Lee]

Thank you

[Imara]

I notice, upon a first very quick scan you do not have much punctuation. Remember that the reader reads accordingly to it, meaning I will never get to breath (I read all poetry out loud) if your revise, keep in mind we pause where we see marks. Those pauses can change the whole feel to a poem.
Your imagery is great, you don't even need the picture because you put it so well in our head! (I love the picture don't get me wrong haha) your word choice is beautiful, lots of adjectives. Very nice.
Now onto meaning (at least the meaning I am guessing it to be)- Within the first three stanza you set it up as a woman (at least I assume a woman) to be sitting on the edge of the stairs listening to the waves crash against the ocean. (I assume the ocean because of the picture) Which brings me to a point, you images although beautiful the sound you keep talking about is very vague and without the picture I don't think I would be able to deduce what beautiful sound our narrator hears. I would assume a song on the radio though I would have no evidence to back it up. You relate it more to the emotions you get from the sound which is fine, but if its a point that these are ocean waves, that can't really be anything else, I would be more specific in describing them in physical sound not just emotional. Ok past that, this sounds speaks to the womans tragic past or present, again something not really specified on, we know that she is sad because this melancholy song is written just for her. This song in so enchanting, speaking to her sorrows she returns to listen to it. I take it as a woman wallowing in her sad past and refusing to move beyond it. When the song she loved for so long because she was sad and so was it, is broken, she chooses to move on. To let that sad part of her life and herself die and be born as a new happier woman. With a new leash on life.
Over all a very inspiring poem with beautiful language that could be spcified so the reader can know what this song is with out the picture, with a great message about moving on in life with a very traditional feel to it. Great Job :)

[Kristin Lee]

Thanks for the review Imara. Yes, the punctuation is a little different. It's closer to what you would see in some older variations of poety from Poe. One thing I love about poetry is that its open to interpretation. Your take is stirring indeed though not what I thought of when I wrote the words (how interesting!) The poem is actually about grief and how it can lure us to death, or give birth to new life. But unless you've experienced that kind of meloncholy it is just like a song on the radio. And when I wrote it as I child I didn't know how to be so literal about it. This was writen when I was approx 10 years old.
The image of the lighthouse was chosen because most lighthouses on the westcoast (where I'm from) have stairs. I was able to picture sitting on the stairs, completely consumed by depression, until seeing the light. The light that would guide me home.
I hope this helps shed some light on some of those questions for you. That was a great review, very indepth. Thank you!

[Imara]

Ah! For being such a young poem it is really deep and on serious subject matter. I'm mostly a fan of Poe's stories (I only have one of his poems committed to heart) but for such a serious matter you were right to take inspiration from him. I can see how you meant that in the poem, you're true meaning, and from a 10 yr old it is done quite well but it is still "blurry" (Maybe not the best word) but poetry is great like that :)

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

I like the combination of emotions in this one. It felt a lot more like a beautiful piece of prose than a poem to me; there were a lot of long thoughts and intense emotions that required extensive description. There are a lot of juxtapositions in this one...sad and happy, silence and sound, birth and death. Well written piece that I completely enjoyed.

[Kristin Lee]

Thank you

[Rita L. Sev]

There's a lot going on in this piece. The imagery and emotions it evokes are wonderful. In some places, it reads less like a poem; shorter lines may help that - for a more poetic flow. The photo is a perfect companion to the poem, depicting the calm and dependable lighthouse and the wild sea before it.

[Kristin Lee]

It was originally written less like a poem and more free thought. I found it particularly hard to form this one into something structured with a distinct tempo only because the thoughts were choppy. Interesting artistic conundrum...
Thank you for the props on the photo :) I simply adore the beach.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Ok poignant and in dark metaphors. Interpretations in my mind were someone reminiscing about their lost childhhood, perhaps on the death of their mother. Or a love that went wrong.

[Kristin Lee]

I'm having fun (?) visiting some of my earlier works. I wrote this piece 15-20 years ago, so it is very possible that those are some of the things I was feeling. Perks of being introspecting, I've always know more than I should, but it has always inspired me, rarely hindered me.

[Jack...]

I liked this, though it did seem a little choppy in places, but then I saw the photograp of the choppy sea and thought, well why not. The photo is beautiful too, where is that light house. It looks like Portland Me, but the house seems to small.

[Kristin Lee]

It's Lincoln City, Oregon, I believe. Or one of the lighthouses out that way...we stopped at several on that particular trip lol.

This was another one that was written was I was very young. I can clearly see how my mind was very choppy back then. At times its hard to clean up the words without losing the emotion....