Preview to my short stroy (Unamed)

Hope you enjoy the read :)

Six months ago was the day that my dear sister began loving. She began loving herself as well as another. I took it like any brother would. I went about my own self-conscious business while tending to the small needs of my family. Now, let me set a foundation for you so that you can understand just what I’m talking about.

                I want you to take a second and imagine this with me; a couple, so well bonded and so perfectly together, that they live as one. They each have families. They each have lives. They each have reputations and friends. Now imagine every ounce of happiness stripped from the vine of those relationships, and thrown in the trash. Every single bit of joy robbed from their heart after spending six, long months making sure it was protected in every single way. She put so much time and effort into building a wall, only to have it torn down by the one who built it. No, not herself, but the now, never-ending labor of a friend. Imagine that my friend and you can stop reading.

                The effort to keep a relationship alive for six months is truly something these days. However, I prefer quality over quantity. My sister and the man, who held it together, had both of these things. They had the quantity of a lifetime and the quality of a pure, honest life. I looked up to this relation seeking a love like that to be something of my own. I took the route of a by-standard and observed these two for six months. Learning everything from drugs to sex, I advanced into something called, “True Love”.

                It is when you experience True Love, that you find the one person in your life that can change you. The one person that can move you back onto the track and encourage you to keep racing. That one person in my life was, and still is, Molly Henderson. She is, without thinking, the most wonderful person I have ever met. Following me through the hard times I will soon tell you about, is my dearly beloved Molly.  Throughout this piece, her name is carefully weaved in and out of each line, because she made it possible for me to keep living. For that, I owe her everything.

                Every day, the passion of my sister is brought to my attention. In the form of dialect or in the form of love, she expresses this in the best way. Occasionally, she can grasp the rawness of a tigers hate and let it flow from her hot-head in the form of actions, as well as words. Sometimes, she will not even accept the fact that you hold an opinion, until hers is abruptly placed in front of you. But, my sister has something special. She also holds the gentle affection of puppy. She can sit and listen to you for the longest time while you are letting out your deepest and darkest emotions. "Anonymous" explains the meaning of what I try to explain in this quote…

"Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say."

            My sister, continuously, acts as a best friend. She would never let a hurt soul be unheard without at least one act of kindness. That is why my sister can be the best sister in the world, as well the pain you feel daily.

 

Author's Note

Hope you guys like it. Feedback/criticism is NEEDED! thanks for readin

Reviews

[Jake Martin]

Wow. I can't believe I just now understood what this may be about. *facepalm*

Every single word of this is true. The true love bit is genius, really.. I love all of your work.

Fantastic :)

[Bhavya Kaushik]

ha ha ha, I loved this piece of writing and specially the closing note :)
In my family, I have one big brother and an elder sister, I'm very close to both of them and we all share a very mature relationship but out of them, I'm more close to my sister...so, I can understand this piece of writing very well.
This piece is surely more refined and mature than your previous words, usage of language is very good and flowed so well!
"It is when you experience True Love, that you find the one person in your life that can change you." - This line really touched me, this is so true...once in our life we all find that someone who entirely changes our life by just being a part of it!
The entire brother-sister relationship has been depicted very intelligently here Austin, Great work :)
Keep writing!

[David]

It was very interesting. I liked how well the sentences were put together. There is no great way to express this but, I would say the piece sounds quite "refined". I think everything is great, and overall a good read. I cant wait to read more. Catch ya.
-David-