For You

We all want to believe our children will love us
Hold us, kiss us, stay with us,
and wrap their little hands around our fingers
Big eyes watch big people with big love

But they're a squirmy type
Run away, out of our arms
No matter how far we stretch

Exploring dust bunnies in corners
Carrying shoes to bury in the sand box
They all, will all, run away

And you see then,
Perhaps they are not yours.

Individuals behind those big eyes
And we, again, are left to watch
Like past loves left,
Mother, fathers, gone,
And a thousand friends,
drifted away

We own no one,
Our children owe nothing
And we will all realize how little we are
How alone we are

And in that we must find some happiness
We must find some truth
For them, for us,
For you

Reviews

[Marc Mccune]

I am here, in this place you describe so well.

Alone, in the middle. Alone as a son and a father.
Both drawing away, and having been drawn away from.

My father; me, a father and
My sons; me a son.

And do they see the writer's heart I wear on my writer's sleeve, my parents, my children. me, in the middle.

[- - - - - - - - - >] Likemeter(tm)

[Short Stories, A Collec..]

What a beautiful piece. It flows nicely, has great visuals, and says a lot in a few words. The tone is bittersweet, reflective. I like this a lot.

[Luke Alexander]

A poem conceptualizing the lack of ownership of offspring. This idea is an unsaid principle that most seldom think about. It shows a unique perspective refreshing my outlook on children. The poem tells "we own no one," without diminishing an alternate focus of relationship with children. A great work, no doubt. Thank you for this read.

[F. Nazarov]

Great poem. Speaks alot of truth in it. In the end we own nothing. That's pretty deep. this is so going into my library.

[L. L. Jacobson]

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened, but no price is too high to pay for the priviledge of owning yourself."

- Friedrich Neitzsche

[R. MonaLeza]

As a mother I can relate to this. I left home running, not looking back and I never wanted my children to feel that way. They are older now, 22 and 17 and they are having a much harder time letting go because of everything we've been through together. They are still at home with me and often speak of the pain they will feel when they finally venture out. I know it will be difficult, but I revel in the knowledge that they are moving on and not running away. This is a piece that can't help but touch a parent's heart. I love it.

[Philip Hartshorn]

this is a nice poem. not a life changer or anything, but it has some great points. I'd enjoy it if it were more poetic and less factual but that's probably not what you wanted and it was your piece so don't heed my greedy words. anyway it was nice and true in most ways, but remember, there are those who do not stay with their parents for life's entirety, but do indeed love them and nurture them until their imminent death. just some thoughts. overall, a good read, and one that provokes some great thinking on thre reader's part. well done.

[Holly Abidi]

Hi,

This is a good poem. I've read a lot of poetry browsing here and there but I really like your work. I think this message is one I haven't seen in poetry before, or haven't read yet. So it's unique and interesting. I like the images and the use of commas to break up the sentences without adding in more words than necessary good use of compression and voice too.

Tons of cheers
Holly

[Nicole Hellene]

All hail the Creator! You are absolutely awesome! This is the first time I have actually viewed your profile because I didn't know you had one (silly I guess not to think you had a profile on your own site lol). But this is by far THE best piece of poetry I have seen on this site. I am not trying to flatter or give cheap praise, but I really truly believe that in my own opinion, this is the best poem I have so far read on writerscafe.org. Great Job. Favorite.

[Stevie Jean Reed]

i think about this NON STOP lol....i look at my little son with his dimples and think...well, hes gonna leave me somday, then who will i adore this much? hmmm

well anyway.....feel what your saying here...enjoyed (sniff)

[Kira Stegman]

I really love this poem! I recently moved across the country, and I know that my parents are feeling the words of the piece exactly. They are happy and proud, but still wish they could hold on to me. I love the way you wrote it. My favorite part:

We own no one,
Our children owe nothing
And we will all realize how little we are
How alone we are

It's so sincere. The only criticism I have is the last stanza. I really like it, but I think the "For them, for us, For you" is a little too easy of an ending. I think it could have something a little more powerful to finish it off. Beautiful poem though, I love it!