-Soul Lost-

Me Philosophy.

 

By the wrath of the ancient gods how I despise my gullibility, after vainly seeking the immaculate knowledge of which I'd hoped would set me free.

All I am  left with are painful memories of the man I once was and a vile premonition of the man I am to be. Bloody hell, how could I'd allowed my curiosity to overwhelm my dignity I whom once was the pillar of logic.

Reviews

[Kris]

You know, I've read a few of your pieces so far and I have to say, I don't particularly like them. Undoubtedly you have some very specific thoughts you wish to express, and while none of your words are particularly difficult to understand, when your "poems" are one or two sentences filled with multisyllabic words, regardless of what it is you're trying to say, it just reads pompous. You may laugh, but I can't imagine someone reading some of your pieces out loud without doing it in an uppity English accent. Also, you may want to check some of your grammar and spelling and syntax, as I've noticed several errors. You also have some punctuation errors. "Overwhelmed" should be overwhelm. "Hope" should be "hoped". Your first comma should be removed or the sentence restructured. There should be a comma after "Bloody hell" or you need to restructure the sentence.

Anyway, cheers.

[Xfaerie corpseX]

different...but...i like it though.

[@dan@]

I like this piece. Many travelers are disillusioned by the desire to reach an end..the end......and I say;
The end of what? The journey never ends it just changes. Accepting this change is the beauty in it.
That is where understanding and wisdom are born.

Very nicely penned poet.

[[untitled]]

Maximus -- I won't bash you because I think this is a great piece. I even added this to my library awhile back. I think this is metaphorically entwined with how you feel or felt at the time and if it doesn't make sense to some, I'm quite sure it made sense to you. However, I would consider editing one thing: "Bloody hell, how could I'd allowed..."
to 'Bloody hell, how could I allow..." it is merely a suggestion. I respect your talent and philosophical point of view. Oh yeah, I like the title too. Reminds me of myself.

[PasDeChat]

I feel it is comlete and full of sorrow and regret. Regret of what we become with age, regret of what SHOULD have been instead of what transpired.

[anthony lopez]

DUDE THAT WAS SWEET!

[the_ese]

awesome.

[Rick Puetter]

Dear Maximus R.,

Like Kris, below, I also have some problems with this piece. Kris has already pointed out that there are a few grammatical errors, so I won't go into that. My first problem starts with the first line. What does the "wrath of the ancient gods" have to do with your anger. I assume you don't believe in them. So this seems merely a flourish with no real meat to it. Right after that you talk about the "immaculate knowledge". Why is this knowledge "immaculate". There is no context here, and then also why would this knowledge have set you free, and free from what? This keeps the reader guessing. Are these just general statements or is there a specific context. A few extra words would help and could give this real teeth. And why does all this leave you with the "memories of a man I once was"? How and why were you changed, and why do you now have fear that you will become something undesireable? Then "curiosity" is introduced out of the blue in the closing sentence, and we have no idea why this has anything to do with your dignity or violating any sense of logic. Curiosity is usually thought of as a good thing, a thing that can cause personal growth.

In summary, you may very well have wonderful motivations and meanings behind your words, but these are not explained to the reader. This piece is quite short and could easily stand to double in size. Additional explanations for the reader could greatly enhance this piece.

Best regards,

Rick

[Adela Muresan]

Great ,,poem,, of self critique.

Surfin to the next one lolz.

A.M.

[~angelalala~]

very strong & powerful poem. "All I am left with are painful memories of the man I once was and a vile premonition of the man I am to be" these were my favorite lines that jumped out at me & slapped me in the face as I have spent many hours thinking these thoughts. who i was, who i am becoming, who i will be. i think each person once they reach a certain point has these moments. beautifully written. well defined.