A simple poem...

of course I'm being facetious. I know poetry is not as easy as it looks. (Saying this as Muse has gun to my head).

A simple poem...

(About Love)

By

Carlos Lorenzo Estrada 

Write me a poem 

that sings with each verse

That dances like music 

emotes with each word

Write me a poem 

that paints with each line

In superfluous colors

which sparkle in ryhme 

Write me a poem 

with scent so divine

In lilac and roses

magnetic sublime 

Write me a poem 

of sorrow and woe

Melancholic in nature 

despondent in flow

Write me a poem

that describes every touch 

Which tingles the senses 

and fulfills every lust 

Write me a poem 

with all of these things 

Recited from knowledge 

transcendent as Spring 

And when you have written 

such things as above 

You'll finally comprehend

this feeling called love

Author's Note

My muse asked of me "What do you know about love?" I was taking aback by her question and somewhat defensive. I explained my trials and tribulations that defined my love life throughout my 57 years of life. She replied after my long winded explanation, "So you know nothing!" Again, I took offense to her comment going into further details about my experience of love. "Still doesn't change the fact you know nothing about love!" She said in calm tone while blowing on her freshly painted fingernails. " I know a lot about love!" was my retort. "No you don't because you've never been married, old man, and know nothing about loving anything greater than yourself." Touche. She had a point. Feel free to comment, troll, or laugh at my expense. CLE

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I really like this, Carlos. It reminds us that verse does not have to be something that in order to read we need to consult a dictionary for every other word.
simple allows for a fluid read, and easily absorbed feeling.
j.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you J for your thoughts on this poem. I struggled with this poem for a while and wasn't sure about submitting it in all honesty. The last 4 lines were forced and the true ending of the piece was "transcendent as spring". I should have left it there and put trust in the audience finding the message on their own instead of forcing it. I feel the ending made it more saccharin. Took away from the flow of the piece. I should have trusted my instincts more I feel. If I'm to take my poetry seriously I need to deconstruct my style some and not be afraid to try more nuance and less ryhme. Sometimes it is a crutch for me that becomes too reliable. Where I become too dependent upon it for narrative purposes and flair. It's not a bad thing but it can pigeon hole a writer. One can paint with words without falling into routines that become safeguards. To find tempo and rhythm in free thought and flow. To just be more creative and intuitive to the art instead of enslaving one to their reliable process. Stepping outside of the box in other words. Structure is good to learn as an adept, but eventually the training wheels must come off and one must learn to fly. The process of art is like walking. Taking that first step and then next. Until it becomes like breathing. Thank you so very much for your kind assessment on this poem. I feel each writing teaches me more in progression. Without progress art dies inside. CLE

[Writergurl]

Wow, this is a really good write. I enjoyed this one

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you for the kind comment I really appreciate it. Wasn't sure if this piece would resonate with anyone. I'm happy it found an audience.

[renea]

😌when I read this I was at peace 💯i don't know why but I was 🤍

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you so much for your kind words. It means a lot to me to hear them because it shows me the message of this poem has touched a heart. And as a writer that is all I ever want from my art. I so appreciate your words Renea, thank you.

[Lisasview]

Ah, love... I often say...Whats LOVE got to do with it...
At the age of 74 ...yikes..and, having been married (this time since 1985) I would say that there is much more behind the word LOVE..
So many words that describe a happy relationship..
Caring, nurturing, and communicating come to mind..but there are way more words,,,
So, your MUSE has a point..by caring for yourself and having an open heart so when that someone enters your space you are ready...to set off for a new adventure.
Lisa, now in Spain

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you, Lisa, for your sweet comment filled with wisdom on this little thing we call love. You through the loving relationship you have know without a doubt that it requires a heart to love more than themselves in order forit to be strong. It asks for sacrifice and equality in the sharing and bonding process of relationship building. I have yet to make such a commitment and admire you for doing so. That simple fact reflects the kind of heart and love that resides within you. And the power to reveal with empathetic humanity and grace your poetry gives to us all. Thank you again. CLE

[Stuart Munro]

Lovely poem , we all get love , it’s just how we deal with it

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you Stuart for your comment. I appreciate it. I personally always find it a challenge to write about love for the reasons I hinted to in the author's notes. I'm a little past my mid 50's and still feel a bit of a novice when it comes to this emotion. I feel it's one that we never stop learning about even in our final days. Personally I would love to believe in that old Beatles quote, "the love you take, is equal to the love you make".

[William Michael Reeves]

Hope Falls On Notes

On a note of love fell hope from above ~
danced on desperate opaque wind,
like leaves from heaven, cast as sinned.

The song once sublime... silence now fills time.
No steps echo down halls of hearts
through doors left open, trust departs.

Lonely melody, drifts near shame's entry.
Held open lust's mauve intention ~
magnetic red attracts tension ...

suspends the right song, with dark deeds done wrong.
Caught infidelity implied ~
the hope for new commitment cried!

For springs eternal man's desire carnal.
Knows instinct clouds his better sense
yet, seeds a storm to feel intense.

And, though our loins pined, passion intertwined
to save brittle leaves from falling
listen ... you'll hear true love calling.

Billigami
2022

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

An excellent piece of poetry Bill. It sure answers the question this piece seeks to ask of us. Thank you so much for sharing your work with me.

[William Michael Reeves]

Ye ask, ye shall receive.

Your poetry is inspiring Carlos. Your question demanded answering. Your reviews are encouraging and enlightening. You are everything ... a poet should be. Thank you. I'm glad you like it. Used a form Richard developed because it lends itself so nicely to song. Bi-trillets if you're not familiar with it.

[John the Baptist]

Your muse is being rather demanding. Just the highs and lows of love would require an epic longer than The Iliad. Throw in the lust part and you've got a lifetime's work. Maybe you should start out less ambitiously, with simple liking.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you JB for your thoughts on this piece. Even in my 57 yrs of life I readily admit I far from an expert on the ways of the heart. At times I feel we can make it more difficult than it needs to be, and at other times I feel it is such a mystery that one truly never masters. Love is easy to say, but harder to mean and prove. Thank you again my friend.

[Aura]

You so marvelously captured the meaning of love in this poem through an indirect way. You tell the audience to write a poem that captures many things such as colour, rhyme, emotion etc. Once you can capture these feelings in beautiful words that can paint an image inside somenes head, you can finally comprehend what love really stands for and what the very word means. It isn't just physical attraction, it runs deeper than that. It is a mood, a scent, the music of life. An interesting poem you've written here Carlos depicting just that! Thanks for sharing!

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you Aura for sharing your thoughts with me. You so eloquently describe just what the meaning of this poem is all about. And exactly what I yearned to capture in the writing of these words. Even as an old man I have so much to learn about this most human of emotions. Love is best lived to better understand its complexity. I've still got a lot to learn in my humble opinion. Thank you again for your comment.

[Ken e Bujold]

CLE next time your muse asks "what do you know about love?" refer her to this one, and if she refuses to acknowledge your poem, ask "what exactly you misheard when she first whispered it in your ear?"

As for poetry not being easy as it looks...so true, but every now and then there's an outlier that simply proves sometimes it is.
I enjoyed the read, which is all any poet can ask for
keep listening to your muse, apparently she thinks your a pretty good lover

Ken e

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you kindly Ken for sharing your thoughts with me on this poem. I really went out of my way trying to convey the simplicity of this most complex emotion. We can wax poetic like Shakespeare on the subject but never scratch the surface of love itself and the need for it. I feel it is a state of being best experienced and lived. Because there is no greater adventure in life than to finally learn to love beyond yourself. Thank you again my friend.

[Ken e Bujold]

true CLE, though when it comes to the bard, I don't think he ever waxed about anything.